


Catfish

by Destinee Zara (LadyDestineeZara)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Online Dating, Online Relationship, Phone Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Depression, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-10 07:12:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 59,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11686650
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LadyDestineeZara/pseuds/Destinee%20Zara
Summary: Catfish1: US informal(noun)a person who sets up a false personal profile on a social networking site for fraudulent or deceptive purposes2: US informal(verb with object)to lure (someone) into a relationship by adopting a fictional online persona.According to Lance, Keith needed to get laid.Keith wasn't that interested in one night stands.Good thing that there's always the internet to meet new people!And maybe even fall in love...Keith thought he had met his Prince Charming online. But is everything really what it seems?My entry with@caomeiartfor the Voltron General Big Bang!





	1. Don’t Come Easy

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language. This story if fully betaed, but there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THINKING OR TALKING INSIDE ONE'S HEAD
> 
> Now, to the story!

As with many things that were messy in Keith’s life, it starts with Lance.

Why they were still friends was a mystery to Keith.

(Lance would say that it was because he was the only one that would put up with Keith’s emo personality, but Keith would say that it was because he was the only one that would put up with Lance’s obnoxious self. Figures).

They were hanging out in Keith’s apartment on a rainy Thursday, after an evening training. Keith wanted to run the Chicago Marathon. Lance decided to train too because he thought that it would let him meet cute babes. To be fair, Keith was getting better every day and Lance had gotten three phone numbers so far. A brunet girl that Lance dated for a week or two, until her boyfriend got back. A blond girl that seemed to be promising for about a month, until she stopped answering any of his texts. Lastly, a dark skinned boy that he was currently dating, but Keith was positive that it would end up badly _again_.

They were hanging out and probably would play some videogames, when Lance stared at Keith in a pondering way and said the phrase that started it all:

\- You need to get laid.

Keith rolled his eyes. Red, his cat stared at Lance unimpressed (as if matching her owner own answer).

\- Ha ha. Very funny.

\- No, man, I’m serious! When was the last time you got laid?

\- None of your business.

\- When was the last time you had a date!?

\- Lance, knock it off.

\- I mean it, man! Last time I saw you dating someone was that weird dude with platinum hair, the Draco Malfoy wannabe. What was his name again? Luther?

\- Lotor, and we weren’t dating. More like had some angry sex here and there until he moved away.

\- Keith, that was nine months ago!

\- So?

\- So! You haven’t dated or banged anyone in nine freaking months!?

\- Only you would see this as a problem.

Lance rolled his eyes with annoyance and exasperation.

\- What? Are you asexual or something?

Keith took a beer from his fridge with a groan.

\- No, I’m not asexual. Can you please just knock it off?

\- So what’s the matter, man?

\- You are the one that keep saying that I’m a brooding hothead and that I’m capable of drying plants with just my resting bitch face. Not exactly dating material.

\- Dude, I was **kidding**! I mean, you aren’t really my type, but you’re still my friend and I want the best for you. And hey, grab me a beer too.

Keith passed another beer to Lance, frowning.

\- Lance, I’m fine. I’m not really looking forward to going to a bar and finding a guy that will probably not even remember my name at the end of the night.

Lance gave him a pitied stare.

\- Keith… that’s harsh. Not everybody will be like that.

\- My experiences in bars beg to differ.

His friend rolled his eyes again.

\- You don’t need to go to an actual bar to find men! I met Dante at the park, while we were training. You just have to look around!

\- You hit a post while staring at his ass.

\- STILL! I got his number!

Keith sighed and started to turn on the videogame, checking if the joysticks were fully charged.

\- Lance, that’s not me. I just… I don’t want just one night stands.

Lance took a sip from the bottle in a skeptical and sassy way.

\- Oh, and what you had with that Lotor guy was…?

\- We had a history back in high school. He used to be a cool guy and I…

Keith blushed before frowning.

\- Never mind. What do you want to play?

\- No, no! Man, you awaken my curiosity! Now you have to tell me.

\- No.

\- Come on, Keith! – Lance started to singsong – Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!

Keith groaned.

\- OK! FINE! I was in love with him back in high school, ok!? That was why I gave it a go when we met again.

\- Because you were still in love! Dawwww, that’s adorable!

\- Call me adorable one more time and I’ll throw you out the window.

Lance raised his hands in a placating gesture, but he still had a knowing smile on his lips.

\- So you need to fall in love before you want to do the do with a person?

\- I… guess…? I mean, I do find some guys sexy.

\- “Bang-able”.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- Yes, that. But even if I find a guy attractive AND that I wouldn’t mind having sex with, I still wouldn’t want anything with them.

There was silence for a few moments.

Lance kept a poker face.

Then he let out a huge grin.

\- Little Keith wants to fall in love with his prince charming and he’s saving himself for marriage~

Keith groaned.

\- Shut the fuck up, Lance.

There was silence for a little while. Years of friendship made Keith wary of Lance’s moment of quietness. He narrowed his eyes and stared at his friend’s thoughtful expression.

Lance seemed to be pondering something.

Confirming Keith’s suspicion, when he opened his mouth again, he had the most embarrassing plan possible.

\- So, how about knowing the person before, so you can fall in love?

Keith kept his eyes narrowed.

\- I’m quite sure that is not possible.

\- Of course it is! – Lance replied with annoyance – You just have to look in the right place!

\- And that would be…?

Lance gave a million-watt smile.

\- The internet!

Keith blinked for one second, too shocked to react immediately.

\- No. – he deadpanned.

\- But Keith…!

\- No.

\- Can you just-

\- Lance, NO! Drop it!

\- Come on, man! Why are you so afraid of going into online dating?

Keith drank the rest of his beer before rolling his eyes.

\- Most guys will probably just look for hook ups, and the ones that don’t are probably married men looking for some sexcapade.

Lance feigned being horrified.

\- Who hurt you and turned you into this cynical emo monster?

\- Just drop it, ok?

\- But who knows? You may find your one true love online~

\- _Lance_!

And of course, in the next days, Lance sent him at least a dozen links to dating sites or dating apps, much to Keith’s chagrin.

It didn’t help that most of them had VERY tacky titles.

One of them was even called _onetruelove.com_.

Keith would make a scoffing sound whenever he received a new message from his friend with a new link.

He was just FINE!

He was a strong and independent man who needed no boyfriend!

So Keith just kept going forward with his days as if he had never seen those links. He also kept ignoring Lance’s nagging about it whenever they meet for training or to hang out.

\- Just give it a try, man! – Lance pouted, two weeks after that first conversation about the subject.

\- Lance, for fuck’s sake, drop it!

\- What’s the worst that could happen?

Keith didn’t have an answer.

He started to wonder if he was just afraid of the idea of romance.

It wouldn’t even be real romance, right? It was all just online… And Keith wasn’t really fond of the idea of a long distance relationship (he thought that he wouldn’t feel comfortable enough without the physical part).

So if it wasn’t “real” romance, it would be ok to give it a try.

Right?

Keith groaned as his head hit his calculus book.

Great! He was going insane! That was the only explanation to why he was listening to Lance’s shitty ideas.

As if magic, or Destiny, Keith’s phone vibrated on that exact moment.

A new message from Lance.

A link to another dating site.

_findyourpladin.com_

A tacky title, but somehow it caught Keith’s eye.

Lance sent another message.

  

> **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **this one is a little different  
>  ****It’s Lance, Bitch:** **and they are dedicated to the LGBT+ community ;D**

 

That DEFINETELY caught Keith’s eyes.

It wasn’t like the others didn’t allow gay people, but Keith would feel more at ease if it was a space only for LGBT+ (too many years facing daily homophobia made him wary of shared dating spaces).

He closed his calculus book.

As with many things that were messy in Keith’s life, it starts with Lance.

Or, more precisely, Keith agreeing with Lance’s stupid plans.

He groaned, but clicked on the new link.

At least the site was not hideous and it was devoid of tacky hearts and bright colours. The symbol was a stylized V with the colours Black, Red, Blue, Yellow and Green pulsating slowly (so it wouldn’t be a hazard for those with epilepsy). The site itself was white with elegant details in black and pastel pink.

 _Find your Paladin_ was the title (just like the URL). At least the description was interesting.

_Tired of a world of knights looking for princess and princess looking for knights? What about paladins looking for other paladins? Welcome to the dating site that doesn’t give a damn about gender roles._

Keith immediately looked at a soft pink button right under the description.

_Free week trial!_

Well… he could give it a go, couldn’t he?

At least after the whole thing failed, he could rub that in Lance’s face. He was really skeptical about it, but he was also curious.

Well, the first week was free anyway.

Yes, he could give that bullshit a try.

Making the account took a little while. There were lots of questions to try to find the best matches. He didn’t want to include a picture of himself (he was still wary of the whole thing), so he snapped a picture of Red, who was napping cutely on the couch. The cat woke with the camera sound. She stretched the sleep out of her and then jumped on Keith’s lap, already purring.

Keith chuckled and scratched her ears while picking a nickname. He opted for “RedFire”, simple and including his favourite colour.

\- Here goes nothing. – Keith said clicking the button to finish creating his account.

He tried looking at some chat rooms, but most of them seemed pretty dull or were all just dick pictures.

Keith sighed and put his phone away.

He looked at Red fondly.

\- Your owner is an idiot, did you know that?

She rolled and offered her tummy for him to pet (he was the only one she allowed to do so). Red stared to his face and meowed, as if agreeing.

Keith chuckled and pet her.

\- You totally knew that.

She just purred, and both were content with that answer.

That same night, Keith received his very first private message on _findyourpaladin_. He almost got excited, then he saw the nickname of the person.

**longdongdoug**

Feeling dread, Keith opened the message.

 

 **longdongdoug:** **Heeeey ;) do you want to have a good time?**

Keith gritted his teeth, but answered.

 

 _RedFire:_ **what do you mean?**  
**longdongdoug:** **you know what I mean, pretty kitty ;D  
****longdongdoug:** **do you like big cocks, kitty? ;)**

Keith groaned and blocked the guy.

In the next four days, that kind of thing was really constant for him.

He didn’t get it! He didn’t even have a picture of himself! Why were those guys trying to start some sexual contact!?

It wasn’t like Keith hadn’t met some nice people. On the second day, he explored the chatrooms with more patience. There were some interesting ones involving his favourite subjects (like sport cars or conspiracy theories). However, most of the people that he met weren’t that interesting when they started the private messages. So most conversations would die quickly.

On the fourth day, he was close to giving up the whole concept and shoving his phone up Lance’s ass for giving him this stupid idea.

During his morning class, his phone vibrated.

Another unrequired PM.

Keith groaned. He wasn’t looking forward to yet another unsolicited dick pic or sexual proposition. So he waited until he got home (after his job at the campus’ cafe) to open his cell phone to answer.

He raised his eyebrows almost immediately.

The guy’s picture was not some weird naked shot of him trying to impress, but a picture of the crescent moon over the sea.

 

 **BlackLion:** **Why did you chose ‘RedFire’ as your nickname?**

That was an unusual way to start a conversation on this site.

 

 _RedFire:_ **I don’t know, why is your nickname ‘BlackLion’?**  
**BlackLion:** **heh**  
**BlackLion:** **You got me**  
**BlackLion:** **I’ll tell you if you tell me**  
_RedFire:_ **no reason**  
**BlackLion:** **D:  
****BlackLion:** **Well, that was anticlimactic**

Keith raised one eyebrow again.

 

 _RedFire:_ **what was you expecting? Some overcomplicated and mystical explanation?**  
**BlackLion:** **…hum… yeah?  
****BlackLion:** **is that the right answer? xD**

Keith groaned. Who the fuck used “xD” these days?

Was that guy a minor? It sounded like some stupid brat waltzing on places they shouldn’t.

Why Keith was still answering was beyond him.

 

 _RedFire:_ **how old are you? Fucking 12?**  
**BlackLion:** **Hey!**  
**BlackLion:** **I’m just 24!**  
**BlackLion:** **how old are YOU, old man?  
**_RedFire:_ **I’m younger than you. If anything, I’m the one that should call you ‘old man’**

There was a pause on the messages. Keith was almost certain that BlackLion had gave up. Then there was a reply.

 

 **BlackLion:** **…you aren’t a minor, are you?**  
**BlackLion:** **please tell me that you aren’t some edgy 15 years old  
****BlackLion:** **D:**

Well, at least the guy had demonstrated some worry about talking to minors. Sadly, after the last four days of receiving many terrible messages, Keith couldn’t help but give some positive points to the guy, since he was worried about the safety of minors.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Relax, I’m 21. I can even drink if I want.**

The answer was almost immediate.

 

 **BlackLion:** **THANK GOD!**  
**BlackLion:** **not that I was going to say anything nasty**  
**BlackLion:** **I don’t know about you but I received TOO MANY dick pics  
****BlackLion:** **so just for the record, I will not do that**

Keith couldn’t help but raise one eyebrow in surprise.

Ok, that was good to know. More positive points to this guy.

 

 _RedFire:_ **That is new. I’ve been on this site for less than a week and I was already regretting even making the account.**  
**BlackLion:** **oh man… that is sad**  
**BlackLion:** **:(**  
**BlackLion:** **I assure you that there are some nice people here**  
**BlackLion:** **:D**  
_RedFire:_ **and let me guess: you are one of them?**  
**BlackLion:** **hahaha xD**  
**BlackLion:** **well, what can I say? xD**  
**BlackLion:** **I’m irresistible <3**  
_RedFire:_ **Cocky, aren’t you?**  
**BlackLion:** **No, not a cock  
****BlackLion:** **a lion xD**

Keith rolled his eyes, but chuckled. He liked men with good self-esteem.

 

 _RedFire:_ **you got me here**  
**BlackLion:** **há! XD**  
_RedFire:_ **why did you pick this nickname?**  
**BlackLion:** **no no no**  
**BlackLion:** **you have yet to tell me why you picked yours**  
**BlackLion:** **:P**  
_RedFire:_ **I already told you. I don’t know**  
**BlackLion:** **I’m not buying it**  
_RedFire:_ **It is the truth**  
**BlackLion:** **Please, tell meeeee**  
**BlackLion:** **Pretty please?**  
**BlackLion:** **Pretty please with a cherry on top?  
****BlackLion:** **pleeeeeease? :D**

Keith sighed and rolled his eyes again. Red jumped on his lap, purring already.

\- Why am I still talking to this fool? – he pet Red – Do you have an answer, kitty?

Red just purred and headbutted his hand.

Keith chuckled.

\- I guess you don’t.

He received another message.

 

 **BlackLion:** **Hey… are you still there?**  
**BlackLion:** **you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to…**  
_RedFire:_ **yeah, I’m here. I just don’t have a good answer.**  
**BlackLion:** **You can tell me**  
**BlackLion:** **I won’t judge ;)**  
**BlackLion:** **I’m really curious**  
_RedFire:_ **ok… Red is my favourite colour and my best friend always tell me that I’m a hothead. So…**  
**BlackLion:** **oh that is cool :D  
****BlackLion:** **now I know a little bit more about you <3**

 

That was… oddly sweet. Keith felt himself blushing a little.

 

 **BlackLion:** **my nickname is something like that**  
**BlackLion:** **I love the colour black  
****BlackLion:** **and lions are fucking cool :D**

It was official: BlackLion was a complete DORK.

Keith was interested.

 

 _RedFire:_ **You are a dork.**  
**BlackLion:** **you say that as if it’s a bad thing**  
**BlackLion:** **D:**  
_RedFire:_ **Nah… It is kinda cute.**  
**BlackLion:** **So you would say that I am ‘adorkable’?**  
**BlackLion:** **;D**  
_RedFire:_ **I said ‘kinda’.**  
**BlackLion:** **I’m still taking the compliment  
****BlackLion:** **;D**

 

Keith chuckled again.

 

 _RedFire:_ **heh. Suit yourself, dork**  
**BlackLion:** **I made you smile didn’t I?**  
**BlackLion:** **:D**  
_RedFire:_ **Maybe.**  
**BlackLion:** **awesome!**  
**BlackLion:** **now I have something cool to write on my diary today  
****BlackLion:** **;D**

Without noticing, Keith spent the whole evening chatting with BlackLion. He was, in fact, a complete dork. A dork that loved cats, apparently (he demanded pictures of Red, and in exchange he showed pictures of his cat, Kuro, a beautiful and regal black cat with long fur). That was one of the two reasons that he started talking with Keith in the first place.

 

 **BlackLion:** **I mean**  
**BlackLion:** **your nickname is cool too**  
**BlackLion:** **it is similar to mine**  
**BlackLion:** **xD**  
**BlackLion:** **but I really cannot resist a pussy  
****BlackLion:** **;D**

Keith rolled his eyes, exasperated.

 

 _RedFire:_ **you DORK!  
****BlackLion:** **;D**

They only stopped talking when Keith announced that he needed to sleep.

 

 _RedFire:_ **I really need to go. I have training tomorrow morning.**  
**BlackLion:** **:´(**  
**BlackLion:** **so, see you tomorrow?**  
**BlackLion:** **:D**  
_RedFire:_ **yeah, sure.**  
_RedFire:_ **See ya  
****BlackLion:** **(^3^)**

After he said goodbye to his new… acquaintance, Keith laid down on his bed, pondering that afternoon.

He couldn’t deny that he had fun. BlackLion was a complete dork, so it was impossible not to laugh sometimes. However, Keith wondered if all that enthusiasm would die out in the morning. Most of the conversations that he had had so far (the real conversations, not the ones involving unsolicited dick pics) hadn’t last more than one day. That was why he was a little wary about raising his hopes.

Fortunately, BlackLion seemed determined to keep talking with him (for reasons beyond Keith’s imagination).

When Keith was entering the class for his morning lesson, he received another message from BlackLion.

 

 **BlackLion:** **MORNING, SUNSHINE!  
****BlackLion:** **The sun has rose on this beau-ti-ful morning in California**

He attached a new picture to the conversation. Kuro was on the window sill with the sun behind her. She seemed even more regal than before, and she looked like she had even posed for the picture.

**BlackLion:** **:D**

Keith chuckled.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Has your mother never talked to you about not giving your address to strangers?**  
**BlackLion:** **Well**  
**BlackLion:** **Good Luck looking through all the state to find me**  
**BlackLion:** **B)**  
_RedFire:_ **heh. Good point.**  
_RedFire:_ **Also, good morning to you too**  
**BlackLion:** **:D**  
**BlackLion:** **Kuro said hi**  
**BlackLion:** **:D**  
_RedFire:_ **heh. Pet her for me, please.**  
**BlackLion:** **only if you pet Red too**  
**BlackLion:** **;)**  
_RedFire:_ **I’m not home right now.**  
**BlackLion:** **huh?**  
_RedFire:_ **I still have a morning class to attend.**  
**BlackLion:** **oh!**  
**BlackLion:** **ok**  
**BlackLion:** **talk to you later then  
****BlackLion:** **:D**

Keith chuckled and closed the conversation. However, it stayed in his mind for a while. Like a background sound in the back of his head. It took a long time for him to tune it down and continue with his day. He had a lot of things to keep his mind occupied anyway.

When he got home after work, Keith laid on the sofa, staring at the celling.

BlackLion hadn’t messaged him again through the day.

Was that a signal that the conversation was over or was he just giving Keith some space?

Keith didn’t know.

He opened the conversation again and stared at it, pondering the pros and cons of sending a new message.

He frowned at himself.

\- You know what, Red. Fuck it, I’m gonna answer.

Red only stared at him from her spot on the other side of the couch before going back to her beauty nap.

Keith took a picture of her and attached to a new message.

 

 **RedFire:** **Good Evening from Illinois.**

The answer was almost immediate.

 

 **BlackLion:** **Has your mother never talked to you about not giving your address to strangers?**  
**BlackLion:** **:B**  
_RedFire:_ **I’m an orphan**  
**BlackLion:** **wait**  
**BlackLion:** **WHAT!?  
****BlackLion:** **D:**

Keith couldn’t help but laugh while BlackLion sent apology after apology.

 

 _RedFire:_ **hey, it is fine. That is hardly sobbing material.**  
_RedFire:_ **But it is a very effective way to win the conversation**  
**BlackLion:** **you meanie**  
**BlackLion:** **:´(**  
_RedFire:_ **“meanie”? What is this? Fourth grade?**  
**BlackLion:** **I thought we have agreed that I’m the senior citizen on the conversation  
****BlackLion:** **xD**

And once again they kept talking.

Today they checked each other’s interest list. Both liked space and that was the theme of the conversation that night.

The next three days were rather nice to Keith (even with the occasional unsolicited pictures of a penis).

BlackLion was indeed a big dork, but he was sweet and energetic. The perfect incarnation of what he imagined California was: a little ball of sunshine. Their conversations could brighten Keith’s day.

That Friday night, Keith’s free trial week ended.

He stared at the banner that appeared on the site.

_Keep searching for your paladin! Subscribe to get access to more features, including our new app!_

They had a monthly option. Keith could subscribe for one month and if he didn’t like it, all he had to do was not renew his subscription.

He shrugged.

What was the worst that could happen?

Keith subscribed and downloaded the app.

He smiled when he saw his first message on the app.

 

 **BlackLion:** **hey, are you there?**  
**BlackLion:** **o.o**  
_RedFire:_ **Yeah… I was just making my subscription.**  
**BlackLion:** **I knew that my charms would make you stay  
****BlackLion:** ** <3**

Keith chuckled.

Things seemed pretty nice so far.

(Little did he know that he was signing up for a full roller-coaster of emotions).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making off of this story:
> 
> Welcome to my entry for the Voltron General Big Bang!  
> You probably already know me, but please meet the lovely artist that shared this project with me, [@caomeiart](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/). They are amazing <3  
> EDIT: Here is the link for the fanart of Chapter one:  
> [[FANART]](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/post/163739022329/catfish-sheith-read-on-ao3-so-how-about)
> 
> Anyway...  
> The ideia for this story come up when my sister was with the TV remote control. She LOVES to watch MTV. We were watching Catfish and the idea of Shiro and Keith online dating with Shiro hiding some things about himself come up ;D  
> What this things are, well, you'll have to read the fanfic hahaha
> 
> The original idea had 3 chapters. 3 chapters turned into 5 and 5 turned into 7 on the final version.  
> Each chapter title is one song that inspired this fanfic. Each song is from a different moment and I'll include a full list at the end of chapter 7! (not all songs become a chapter, though).
> 
> Updates every Thursday! =D
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked! 
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to find me! (I'm kinda awkward, but yeah...).  
> [@wonderland-s-angel](http://wonderland-s-angel.tumblr.com/). I swear that I don't bite, I'm just a dork with a pink blog.  
> I'm having some problems with the tagging system on tumblr, so just talk to me if you want to call my attention.
> 
> Comments help me to get going, you know. Like, SERIOUSLY, they keep me going. I feed on them and I'm always hungry.
> 
> I hope I’ll see ya next week!
> 
> Bye-bye! o/


	2. New Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if fully betaed, but there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THINKING OR TALKING INSIDE ONE'S HEAD
> 
> The text with blockquotes are the cellphone messages. Others are chat messages. 
> 
> Now, to the story!

**BlackLion:**   **I don’t know...**  
 **BlackLion:**   **I like the animations of the show >.<**  
 _RedFire:_   **You’re a big child that likes shiny things.**  
 **BlackLion:**   **and you’re a big meanie xP**  
 _RedFire:_   **Hey! I like the show too!**  
 _RedFire:_   **I just said that you’re a child (which is true)  
** **BlackLion:**   **MEANIE! >w<**

Keith laughed while searching for his running shoes.

 

**BlackLion:** **but**  
 **BlackLion:** **yeah ur right**  
 **BlackLion:** **the new show might have more representation and all**  
 **BlackLion:** **but still has some badly written arcs :/**  
 _RedFire:_   **Totally! I mean, the princess arc could have been pretty good to develop her character  
** _RedFire:_ **but they basically fucked everything up with lazy writing**

Red rubbed herself against Keith’s leg while he was putting on his shoes.

\- Not now, kitty. – he said, trying to push her away.

She glared at him and kept trying to get his attention.

Keith groaned.

 

**BlackLion:**   **I still like it, though**  
 **BlackLion:**   **:D**  
 **BlackLion:**   **it has a huge potential**  
 **BlackLion:**   **and I’m SO FUCKING HYPED for S3  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith laughed in real life before answering.

 

_RedFire:_   **Yeah, me too**  
 _RedFire:_   **Things don’t need to be perfect for me to enjoy them**  
 _RedFire:_   **It’s got good qualities**  
 **BlackLion:**   **LIKE THE ANIMATION**  
 **BlackLion:**   ***-***  
 _RedFire:_   **You DORK!**  
 **BlackLion:**   **(^3^)**  
 _RedFire:_   **Hey, I’m going to the train now**  
 **BlackLion:**   **OKIE DOKIE! :D**  
 **BlackLion:**   **TTYL!  
** _RedFire:_   **Later!**

Keith was still smiling when he got to the running track at his campus that Saturday afternoon.

\- Someone’s in a good mood today. – Lance commented with a smirk.

Keith rolled his eyes, but kept his smile and gave Lance a mock punch on his arm.

\- Shut up.

\- Still smiling? Wow! You must be ECSTATIC! What happened? Something good?

\- Oh, nothing much. Just the usual. Can’t I be in a good mood just because?

\- I guess. You just seem happier than usual.

\- Is that a bad thing?

Lance gave him a genuine smile.

\- Not at all! I just got curious about what made you so happy.

Keith was still a little reluctant about telling Lance about BlackLion. He didn’t want to be mocked because of his friendship with his online friend.

(He knew that he would have to eventually tell Lance. Lance was one of Keith’s best friends, after all and the one to suggest the site. Just… not right now, if Keith could help it).

Lance smirked again.

\- Ready to lose to me again, mullet boy?

Keith smirked himself.

\- In your dreams, cargo pilot.

Running always gave Keith some clarity.

It was easy and he loved to move.

His body craved movement.

(Any movement at all would be fine. That was why he would go with Hunk and Shay to their dancing classes, run almost every day, or hit the gym at least two times a week. Honestly, Keith’s body just needed to MOVE or he would get anxious).

Running always helped clear his mind.

He could think of hard problems in his life more clearly and think of a good/better solution.

That afternoon, running made him think about BlackLion.

It had been one month since he had met his new online friend and, oddly enough, Keith felt really connected with him. It was easier to talk about his problems with someone on the internet. Weird, isn’t it?

However, the whole idea of the findyourpaladin website was to find someone to be  _romantically_  involved with. Would it be too weird to find just a friend and not a romantic partner?

\- Hey, Keith! – Lance shouted – Slow down man!

Only then, Keith realized he was running faster than what he had intended to (There was a reason he had a sports scholarship, after all). He stopped and waited for Lance to catch up.

The Latino boy panted.

\- What the fuck, man! – he said between ragged breaths – We’re training for a marathon, not for a sprint.

Keith felt himself blushing, as if his friend had caught him red handed. Lucky for him, his face was already red from the exercise.

\- Sorry, I wasn’t paying attention.

\- I noticed! Now you owe me a pause.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- Yeah, yeah, whatever.

They sat on one of the benches nearby. Lance was drinking water like there was no tomorrow.

\- So… Are you going to tell me what was on your mind or do I have to try to guess, like always?

Keith looked away.

\- There was nothing on my mind. I was just distracted, that was all.

Lance rolled his eyes.

\- And trying to guess it is!

\- Lance, there’s nothing to guess. People get distracted sometimes.

\- Yeah, and they usually have reasons.

\- Or they’re just distracted.

\- Just tell me, man!

\- Why are you always so nosy?

\- It’s my curious nature. Now, tell me!

Keith had a nasty answer on the tip of his tongue, but his phone pinged announcing a new message on the  _findyourpaladin_  app. It could be another unsolicited dick pic, but it could also be a message from BlackLion.

Keith thus ignored Lance in favour of looking at his screen.

It was from BlackLion, another picture. Probably Kuro in some new antics that her owner put her through (not that she minded. Apparently, she was a very cooperative cat). Keith couldn’t help but smile and look at the picture.

Kuro had a blue exercise hair band on her head and a white note near her. It read “we believe in you!”.

If it was possible, Keith’s smile was now even bigger. That was really cute and dorky, just like most of the things his online friend did.

He raised his eyes only to meet Lance, who had the biggest shit-eating grin he had ever seen.

\- Oh, I geeeeeet it! My friend Keith has a new  _boyfriend_!

Keith felt his face become completely red (damn his light skin!).

\- That’s not it!

He was really feeling like punching the stupid grin off Lance’s face.

Lance crossed his arms looking smug.

\- Then, what is it? You know that if you don’t explain to me, I’ll only come up with more and more absurd theories.

Keith groaned.

\- Yeah, I know, but you’ll laugh if I tell you.

\- Dude, I’ll laugh either way, that’s what friends are for. At least if you explain, I won’t go telling everyone we know that you’re out of the meat market.

Keith glared at him.

\- Have I ever told you how crude you are sometimes?

\- Once or twice. Now, tell me!

\- Ok, fine! I joined one of the dating sites you sent to me-

\- Ahá! I KNEW IT! I  **knew**  that you couldn’t resist that! Which one was it?

Keith sighed.

\- That one that’s exclusively LGBT, the “find your paladin” thing. But it’s not what you think.

\- I’m not thinking of anything, just that you found your paladin already. – Lance was still grinning.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- No, I didn’t. I made a friend only, he just happens to use the same site and happens to be a complete dork. That is it, the end, none of this paladin bullshit.

\- And you smile like this to all your friends texts? – Lance asked with raised eyebrows.

\- When they’re nice messages, yes I do!

\- I never saw you smiling at one of my texts.

\- That’s because you’re usually an ass, not nice.

\- Ouch! My feelings!

Keith sighed.

\- Come on, Lance. I smile when Hunk sends me some nice picture of his food or when Pidge shares stuff from her videogames.

Lance stared at him for a while before sighing.

\- Yeah, you have a point. Under all that grumpy edgy punk façade, you are a happy person inside.

Keith snorted.

\- Thanks, I guess.

\- So what’s his name? It is a “he”, right?

Keith smiled.

\- Yeah, a “he”. I don’t know his name yet, just his nickname.

\- Which is…?

\- Black Lion. It’s a silly thing with his favourite colour and that he like lions. He talked to me because I used a picture of Red as my profile picture. – he snorted again – He said, and I quote, “I can resist a good pussy”.

Lance laughed.

\- Sounds like a cool dude!

\- I thought you’d say so.

\- So where’s he from? How old is he?

For some reason, Keith felt a little embarrassed, but happy about giving those details that he already had. However, both their phones vibrated at the same time with a message on their message group.

Hunk had sent a picture of a cake and other small desserts on his kitchen table.

    

> **Hunk:** **Hey guys! I reeeeeeeeeally need some guinea pigs here! =D**
> 
> **Hunk:** **I mean, if you can come, of course.**

 

Keith smiled.

It was always nice to see Hunk being proud of his cooking abilities.

Also, that was a perfect excuse to dodge Lance’s questions.

\- Want some cake?

\- Don’t try to change the subject, man!

Keith answered Hunk while they were both on the subway.

    

> **Kogane:**   **We’re on our way!**

Pidge answered some moments later.

   

> **K.Holt:**   **DIBS ON THE CHOCOLAT TART!**
> 
> **It’s Lance, Bitch:**   **THAT’S NOT FAIR PIDGE!**

With this light bickering, Lance was distracted the whole ride and didn’t question Keith anymore about BlackLion.

Well, at least not at that moment.

When they were together with Hunk, Shay and Pidge in Hunk’s small kitchen, Lance (with his nose dirty with cream) turned back to Keith.

\- So, about your new online boyfriend…

Keith cringed. All the other people around the table gasped.

\- Boyfriend!?

\- Who is he?

\- You didn’t tell us anything about your boyfriend!

Keith sighed and rolled his eyes.

\- First of all, he is not my boyfriend. He’s just an online friend.

Lance let out another shit-eating grin.

\- Uhum… That smile was not for “just a friend”… - he sing-songed.

\- Lance, I smiled just the same way to Hunk’s message!

\- Still! You met him on an online dating site!

\- Hold on! – Hunk said, raising his hands – From the beginning, please. Because I feel like I’m missing some parts here.

\- Yeah, me too! – Pidge agreed.

\- Tell us your love story Keith! – Shay said with a dreamy expression.

He blushed.

\- It is not a love story!

He told the whole story, from Lance’s suggestion until befriending BlackLion and their daily messages.

\- I mean, - Keith said – I’m basically reacting like I do with all my friends. Lance is just being an ass.

\- No I’m not!

\- Yes, you are!

\- No, I’m not!

\- Hey! – Hunk intervened – No fighting in my kitchen!

\- Sorry, Hunk. – Keith and Lance said together.

\- Also, - Pidge said adjusting her glasses – Keith smiles to a lot of messages that we sent him. I already saw him doing it with Hunk’s messages and even yours, Lance.

Lance winked.

\- I know, but it’s fun to see mullet boy all riled up.

\- You ASSHOLE!

Lance laughed. His phone pinged with a new message. Lance let out a goofy smile.

\- Look at this cute thing Dante sent me.

He showed a cheesy poem that his boyfriend had sent him.

Shay and Hunk cooed at the poem. Keith and Pidge weren’t so impressed.

\- How do you know if it’s for you? – she asked.

Lance rolled his eyes.

\- Duh! He sent it to me!

\- It doesn’t have your name on it. – Keith pointed out

\- You’re just jealous that Dante and I are in the same city while your boytoy is not.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- He’s just a friend, for fuck’s sake, Lance!

As if to prove a point, BlackLion sent him a message at that exact moment. Another picture of Kuro. This time, she was blinking happily on her purple pillow beside her water bowl. “Don’t forget to hydrate :D” was the caption. Keith fought the will to smile, but something must have showed on his face.

Pidge and Lance had matching shit-eating grins.

\- A friend, hum? – Pidge asked.

\- Fuck off. – he said with anger, looking at the smirking duo – Both of you.

Shay had a thoughtful expression.

\- Have you talked with him about the status of your relationship? – she asked.

\- Hum, no. Why?

\- Well, you two met on a dating site.

\- And?

Hunk snapped his fingers, as if he had just understood something.

\- So he might be considering if you’re boyfriend material! – he blurted out.

Keith felt his face become really, really, REALLY red.

Pidge and Lance were almost crying with laugher.

\- “Boyfriend material”! – one of them would say and they would restart laughing.

\- It wasn’t even that funny! – Keith tried to defend himself.

Shay smiled, amused at Hunk, who was red with mortification.

\- Sorry, dude! I didn’t mean to!

\- I know, I know.

\- Jokes aside, - Shay said gently, while the other two were still laughing and Hunk was trying to calm them down – you should ask him if he thinks the same. It’d be bad if the two of you weren’t on the same page.

Keith blinked.

\- I hadn’t thought about that.

She smiled gently.

\- I think it would be a good idea.

He thought about that the whole way home.

Keith had already been questioning that, worried about not being seen as only a friend.

Had he mislead BlackLion somehow?

Feeling guilty, he started to rethink of all their conversations.

He always got the impression that BlackLion was flirting with him, but since it was sweet, Keith though it was harmless.

Had he mislead his friend by allowing that to continue?

As soon as he got home, Red saluted him demanding to be pet. She jumped on him, using her claws to hold onto his training pants. Keith laughed and snapped a picture of her hanging from his pants before picking up his cat.

\- You are a little diva, have I ever told you that?

She just growled, demanding his petting.

Keith chuckled, took off his sneakers and sat on the couch with her on his lap. He sent the picture he had just taken to his Californian friend.

 

_RedFire:_   **Good Evening from Illinois!**

He didn’t get an immediate answer, but that was ok. It gave him time to take a shower (with Red staring at him the whole time, the weird cat) and to open his astrophysics book to study. He also turned the TV on to watch some of the news. Keith almost jumped when his phone vibrated in his hoodie pocket.

 

**BlackLion:**   **sorry for the delay. I had some stuff to do.**  
 _RedFire:_   **no problem man.  
** **BlackLion:**   **Red is cute as ever <3**

Keith took a deep breath.

No reason to delay the situation anymore.

 

_RedFire:_   **hey, I need to ask you something**  
 **BlackLion:**   **shoot**  
 **BlackLion:**   **:D**  
 **BlackLion:**   **I’m an open book!**  
 _RedFire:_   **Are you interested in me?**  
 **BlackLion:**   **Of course xD**  
 **BlackLion:**   **we’re friends!**  
 **BlackLion:**   **It would make no sense to talk to you every day if I wasn’t  
** _RedFire:_   **I meant romantically.**

There was a pause that made Keith apprehensive.

 

**BlackLion:**   **Well…**  
 **BlackLion:**   **Are you interested?**  
 _RedFire:_   **No, I’m not going to enter a game of ‘who asked first’ with you!**  
 _RedFire:_   **answer the damn question!  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD**

Keith never felt more frustrated with a “xD” in his entire life.

 

**BlackLion:**   **serious now,**  
 **BlackLion:**   **I don’t exclude the possibility**  
 **BlackLion:**   **:)**  
 **BlackLion:**   **you’re a nice guy**  
 **BlackLion:**   **even if you’re a meanie sometimes**  
 **BlackLion:**   **xP**  
 **BlackLion:**   **but I have no big expectations.**  
 **BlackLion:**   **it’s not like anyone has ever met their prince charming on grindr or tinder or those other dating apps**  
 **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** **BlackLion:**   **(at least, I never heard about it o.o)**

Keith chuckled.

He had been worried for nothing.

BlackLion was just a HUGE dork.

 

_RedFire:_   **I’ve heard about one or two cases, but nothing as common as people think.**  
 **BlackLion:**   **Soooooo…**  
 **BlackLion:**   **Are you interested?**  
 **BlackLion:**   **:3**  
 **BlackLion:**   **I’m asking for a friend  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD**

Keith stared at the news anchor talking about a small earthquake in the LA region.

Would he date BlackLion?

If they knew each other in real life, it probably was a maybe. It would depend on if he felt sexually attracted to BlackLion, and Keith was a VERY picky person when the subject was “men I would fuck”. (Pidge had said something once about him being “demisexual”, but since he didn’t have enough information about what the hell that was, he preferred to stick with only “gay and picky”).

However, the idea of online dating and long distance relationships still didn’t sound appealing to Keith, even with BlackLion being a sweetheart.

 

_RedFire:_   **tbh, you are a real nice guy**  
 **BlackLion:**   **I’m feeling that there’s a “but” there**  
 **BlackLion:**   **:(  
** _RedFire:_   **Let me fucking finish!**

His friend didn’t answer. Keith chose to see that as being giving space to speak.

 

_RedFire:_   **as I was saying, you are really nice and all, but I’m not really comfortable with the idea of long distance relationships.**  
 _RedFire:_   **I mean, if you lived in Chicago and we met, maybe we could work something out, because you ARE nice**  
 _RedFire:_   **But since you live in fucking California, that sounds kinda… weird to me, you know?  
** _RedFire:_   **(Also, I entered the site only because a friend of mine was nagging about my non-existent dating life -.- I’m glad that I met you, though).**

The answer came soon enough.

 

**BlackLion:**   **daaaaaaaaw**  
 **BlackLion:**   **< 3**  
 **BlackLion:**   **I knew that under that meanie cover you were a real softie inside  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith chuckled.

 

_RedFire:_   **heh. You’re the second person to say something like that about me today**  
 **BlackLion:**   **so it’s probably true**  
 **BlackLion:**   **;3**  
 _RedFire:_   **Possible.**  
 _RedFire:_   **Just don’t spread this around. I have a badass reputation to maintain.**  
 **BlackLion:**   **LMAO**  
 **BlackLion:**   **okok**  
 **BlackLion:**   **xD**  
 **BlackLion:**   **your secret is safe with me**  
 **BlackLion:**   **;)**  
 **BlackLion:**   **So are we cool?**  
 **BlackLion:**   **I mean, as friends?  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3**

Keith couldn’t help but smile.

 

_RedFire:_   **Yeah! We’re cool as friends =)  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3 <3 <3  
** _RedFire:_   **even if you are a big dork  
** **BlackLion:**   **< /3  
** **BlackLion:**   **meanie!**

Keith laughed aloud.

Red stared at him, unimpressed and jumped off his lap to start to clean herself on the floor.

 

**BlackLion:**   **sooooooooooo…  
** **BlackLion:**   **you’re from Chicago!  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3**

And Keith spent another Saturday evening in between catching up with his series on Netflix and talking with his online friend.

He learned that his friend was from Long Beach, near LA. So now they knew where the other lived. Kinda.

(Although it was odd that his friend didn’t mention the earthquake, Keith just shrugged. Maybe it was no big deal).

Having cleared things up with BlackLion also gave Keith some ease with dealing with him. Just like making a new friend without any expectations. Which was a relief considering that the site seemed determined to match people. There were tons of chats based on interests. There were the “perfect match” (to find the supposed perfect guy/gal/non-binary-pal), the list of people you might find interesting, the “blind dating” (that would randomly suggest someone) and the “paladins near me”.

Also, there was  _the_ button.

A seemly innocent button saying “I’ve found my paladin”.

Keith never felt more bothered by a button before.

It was a big button that would be on the top of every page inside the  _findyourpaladin_  website. Even the app would keep it showing all the time.

Almost like a demand to find someone as fast as you could.

And Keith…

Well…

Keith was the kind of guy that took some time to fall in love. Too much time in the Foster System made him have some abandonment issues and trust issues that he was pretty sure would be a pain in the ass with any lover he might have.

With the weight of that demand for a relationship being lifted from his shoulders, Keith could breathe more easily and just go back to enjoying the friendship with BlackLion.

Which was good, considering that all his in real life friends started to ask millions of annoying and embarrassing questions about his virtual friend.

 

_RedFire:_   **It is SO annoying! -.-  
** _RedFire:_   **I mean, I’m not the first person to have an online friend!  
** _RedFire:_   **One of them even has tons of online friends in the online game she plays!  
** _RedFire:_   **It’s SO infuriating!  
** **BlackLion:**   **hahaha xD  
** **BlackLion:**   **I know your pain  
** **RedFire:**   **I really doubt that  
** **BlackLion:**   **meanie  
** **BlackLion:**   **xP  
** **BlackLion:**   **anyway  
** **BlackLion:**   **a dear friend of mine is also kinda nagging me about you  
** _RedFire:_   **Wait? Really?  
** **BlackLion:**   **yeah…  
** **BlackLion:**   **she was always saying that I needed to meet new people  
** **BlackLion:**   **so I kinda told her about you  
** _RedFire:_   **And?  
** **BlackLion:**   **And I wouldn’t be surprised if she hires a private detective to investigate you  
** **BlackLion:**   **yikes  
** **BlackLion:**   **x_x  
** _RedFire:_   **LOL  
** _RedFire:_   **And here I was thinking that my friends were terrible! You just took the prize  
** **BlackLion:**   **it would be funny  
** **BlackLion:**   **if it wasn’t scary  
** **BlackLion:**   **x_x  
** _RedFire:_   **LOL**

October started to slowly get colder and colder.

Keith had decided to participate on the Chicago Marathon after seeing tons of flyers about it year after year. Since it was too close and he was more of a sprinter than a marathoner, he decided to train for the one next year. Lance tagged along, thinking that running a marathon might impress some babes. Pidge, Hunk and Shay were on the cheering team.

Lance was already complaining about the cold (like all the other years).

\- It’s so freaking cold! – he complained one morning during their training.

They would usually train for the marathon in the mornings, after Keith’s Track training and Lance’s swimming training (if they had training on those days), and before their classes.

Keith just rolled his eyes.

\- It’s always cold for you!

\- That’s because I’m a delicate tropical flower. I have a softer constitution!

\- You’re a baby, that’s what you are.

\- And you’re an EVIL emo.

\- Anyways, you coming to my house for the Overwatch match tonight?

Lance gave him another goofy smile.

\- Sorry, dude. Dante said that he’ll probably take me somewhere today!

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- By “somewhere” he means that dirty bar you hate?

\- Come on, Keith! Don’t be so harsh on him!

\- Lance, you already told him that you don’t like that bar!

\- But he likes it!

\- He just goes there because it’s cheap!

Lance stood up from the bench where they were resting and glared at Keith.

\- Well, maybe I don’t mind going there with him! Why do you even care?

\- Because he’s treating you like shit!

\- I’m not going to stay here and listen to you bitching.

He walked away with a frown.

Keith groaned.

Once again, Lance had gotten himself into a bad relationship. It was as if he was a magnet for shitty people. However, the worst part was that Lance would fall in love with each and every single one of those assholes. He had a good and loving heart, and all his friends knew that. Hunk and Shay always hope for the best in Lance’s relationships. Keith and Pidge were more skeptical. In this particular case, Keith had already seen Dante mistreating and neglecting his friend way too many times, only to be all romantic the next day with cheap flowers or some cheesy poem that never seemed to have been written specifically for Lance. Keith and Pidge would like the situation best if their friend just dumped the guy, but Lance was blind with infatuation.

Keith’s phone pinged with a new message from BlackLion.

 

**BlackLion:**   **Good Morning from California!  
** **BlackLion:**   **the sun is shining and the ocean breeze smells like salt water all right  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

There was another picture of Kuro attached. She was blinking happily from her spot on the floor under a nice ray of sunshine.

He couldn’t help but smile.

It had become a small tradition for them. BlackLion would greet him good morning and Keith would wish him a good evening; always exchanging pictures of their cats.

It always made Keith smile and he hoped that his friend felt the same.

 

_RedFire:_   **I envy Kuro right now. I could use a little bit more sun  
** **BlackLion:**   **it can’t be that bad  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3  
** **BlackLion:**   **it’s only October after all!**

Keith took a picture of the cloudy sky.

 

_RedFire:_   **nope.  
** **BlackLion:**   **D:**

It took a little while for his friend to say something else (which was quite unusual for BlackLion’s chatty attitude). Also, the chatbox told Keith that he was spending a lot of time typing and editing an answer (which was also unusual).

 

**BlackLion:**   **you better go to class then! I bet it’s warmer there.**

It was a weird change of subject, especially after all that typing, but Keith just shrugged.

 

_RedFire:_   **You’re probably right…  
** _RedFire:_   **TTYL!  
** **BlackLion:**   **(^3^)**

It occurred to Keith to invite BlackLion to the videogame night with his friends. They would be playing online, and without Lance, so they would probably need more people anyway.

Keith lit up. Maybe he could introduce his friends!

It sounded like a wonderful idea in his head.

He asked his online friend right before his shift that afternoon.

 

_RedFire:_   **Hey, some friends and I are planning an Overwatch night today.  
** _RedFire:_   **It’s all online, so you can probably join us.  
** _RedFire:_   **If you have the game, I mean.**

He saw that BlackLion was online, but he was not answering.

Odd.

He checked his phone again during his break. His friend had answered after a one-hour delay.

Really Odd.

 

**BlackLion:**   **I’m not exactly the videogame type.**

Keith raised his eyebrows.

Who the fuck wasn’t the videogame type these days?

 

_RedFire:_   **Why?  
** _RedFire:_   **Also, are you ok?**

Another long pause, although this time not that long (only 10 minutes).

 

**BlackLion:**   **I’m more old fashioned I guess.  
** **BlackLion:**   **and I’m ok  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** **BlackLion:**   **why do you ask?  
** _RedFire:_   **You took more time to answer than usual o.o**

Again, some delay. Keith’s break was almost ending when his friend answered.

 

**BlackLion:**   **Sorry, I’m just busy right now.  
** _RedFire:_   **oh! Ok, no problem =)  
** _RedFire:_   **My break is almost over now  
** _RedFire:_   **TTYL?**

The answer came in almost a heartbeat.

 

**BlackLion:**   **you bet!  
** **BlackLion:**   **(^3^)**

Keith chuckled. His friend was always a dork.

It turns out, BlackLion was more a book type of guy than a videogame type of guy (Keith asked that night, right before his match with friends). So they talked A LOT about books through the rest of October. Keith even started to read one of BlackLion’s favourites, The Lord of the Rings (even if it was a famous series it had never interested Keith before).

 

_RedFire:_   **I confess that I kinda slept at some parts  
** _RedFire:_   **It is interesting, though  
** **BlackLion:**   **hahaha  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** **BlackLion:**   **I don’t blame you  
** **BlackLion:**   **good ol’ Tolkien is kinda hard sometimes  
** **BlackLion:**   **some say he describes too much, you know?  
** **BlackLion:**   **but I particularly like that about him <3  
** **BlackLion:**   **you can basically _feel_ Middle Earth  
** _RedFire:_   **heh. Nerd.  
** **BlackLion:**   **meanie  
** **BlackLion:**   **xP  
** _RedFire:_   **But you’re right about the Middle Earth feels  
** _RedFire:_   **I guess I’m too restless to pay attention for too long to details  
** **BlackLion:**   **you seem to pay attention to details when watching series  
** **BlackLion:**   **xP  
** _RedFire:_   **huh? What do you mean?  
** **BlackLion:**   **I watched that motorbike series you recommended  
** **BlackLion:**   **Sons of Anarchy  
** **BlackLion:**   **you’re right  
** **BlackLion:**   **the main character DOES have a great ass**

 

Keith laughed.

 

_RedFire:_   **I know, right?  
** _RedFire:_   **He did that movie with giants robots, Pacific Rim!  
** **BlackLion:**   **wait  
** **BlackLion:**   **seriously?  
** **BlackLion:**   **o.o  
** _RedFire:_   **Yeah! How didn’t you notice?  
** **BlackLion:**   **I was more interested in Mako in that movie  
** **BlackLion:**   ***-*  
** _RedFire:_   **wait, aren’t you gay?  
** **BlackLion:**   **more like pan  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** _RedFire:_   **oh  
** **BlackLion:**   **is that a good “oh” or a bad “oh”?  
** **BlackLion:**   **o_o**

Keith chuckled.

 

_RedFire:_   **It’s a surprised oh  
** _RedFire:_   **Relax, one of my friends is bi, so I’m used to it  
** _RedFire:_   **I just haven’t seen you talk about women before  
** **BlackLion:**   **I’m more attracted to men  
B** **lackLion:**   **(much to my mother’s chagrin -.-)  
** **BlackLion:**   **but tbh I just like people  
** **BlackLion:**   **and Mako happens to be just my type  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** _RedFire:_   **And what’d that be?  
** **BlackLion:**   **small  
** **BlackLion:**   **Asian  
** **BlackLion:**   **and could kick my ass at any moment  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD**

Keith blinked.

He didn’t know about the “kick his ass” part, but the rest seemed to match. (He didn’t know why, but he checked BlackLion’s profile again. Damn… his friend was at least a head taller than him).

 

**BlackLion:**   **what about you?  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3  
** _RedFire:_   **What about me?  
** **BlackLion:**   **what’s your type?  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3  
** _RedFire:_   **hum… tall, strong  
** _RedFire:_   **I really love a man that can manhandle me  
** _RedFire:_   **Probably brunet  
** **BlackLion:**   **probably?  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** _RedFire:_   **I’m always open to new possibilities  
** **BlackLion:**   **sounds like a good policy  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3  
** **BlackLion:**   **what else?  
** _RedFire:_ **hum? More?  
** **BlackLion:**   **yeah!  
** **BlackLion:**   **I’m a curious cat!  
** **BlackLion:**   **(*ΦωΦ*)  
** _RedFire:_   **I thought you were a lion  
** _RedFire:_ **(**   **￣**   **ω**   **￣**   **)  
** **BlackLion:**   **OMG!!!!!!  
** **BlackLion:**   **YOU JUST USED A EMOJI!!!  
** **BlackLion:**   **:DDDD  
** _RedFire:_   **heh. I guess I’m spending too much time with you  
** **BlackLion:**   **One of us!  
** **BlackLion:**   **One of us!  
** **BlackLion:**   **o(**   **≧∇≦**   **o)**

Keith smiled in real life again.

How could this dude make him smile so much?

He was an idiot!

(But at least, he was Keith’s idiot).

 

_RedFire:_   **lol  
** _RedFire:_   **Dork  
** **BlackLion:**   **I made you smile didn’t I?  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith felt like smiling again.

 

_RedFire:_   **Maybe…  
** **BlackLion:**   **awesome!  
** **BlackLion:**   **now I have something cool to write in my diary today  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith couldn’t help, but blink.

Since when had his friend started using “<3”, the heart, instead of the usual smiling or laughing faces?

Their “anniversary”, as BlackLion was calling it, was on the 8th. So in the last days of October, Keith’s friend had asked him for a special night on the 8th of November (2 months since they met each other).

 

**BlackLion:**   **since it’s Friday  
** **BlackLion:**   **and I heard the app will have a new feature by the 6th  
** **BlackLion:**   **:D  
** _RedFire:_   **What new feature? o.o  
** _RedFire:_   **Will they FINALLY get rid of the stupid ‘found my paladin’ button?  
** **BlackLion:**   **oh, come on!  
** **BlackLion:**   **that button is kinda cute  
** _RedFire:_   **I find it kinda imposing  
** **BlackLion:**   **hum?  
** **BlackLion:**   **o.o  
** **BlackLion:**   **What do you mean?  
** _RedFire:_   **Like they are basically forcing us to find a date  
** **BlackLion:**   **I’m afraid to inform you but this is still a dating app  
** **BlackLion:**   **:B  
** _RedFire:_   **I know!  
** _RedFire:_   **It’s just that things just don’t happen this way  
** _RedFire:_   **Falling in love takes time  
** _RedFire:_   **Dedication.  
** _RedFire:_   **I feel like it kinda misses the point by basically forcing us to ‘find a paladin’**

There was a smallish pause in the answers. They talked so frequently that Keith had already memorized the times for immediate answer, small pause and odd pause. Small pauses usually meant that BlackLion was thinking a little bit more and probably would say something cheesy.

 

**BlackLion:**   **I never took you for the romantic type  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3  
** _RedFire:_   **Don’t mock me.  
** **BlackLion:**   **I’m not  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3  
** **BlackLion:**   **that’s just cute**

Keith blushed.

 

_RedFire:_   **anyway, what were you saying about an update?  
** **BlackLion:**   **oh!  
** **BlackLion:**   **right!  
** **BlackLion:**   **I think they will FINALLY include some voice feature!  
** **BlackLion:**   **:D  
** **BlackLion:**   **so I was thinking about celebrating by talking to each other instead of texting  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith chuckled.

 

_RedFire:_   **and you say that I’m the romantic one  
** _RedFire:_   **=P  
** **BlackLion:**   **it takes one to know one  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3  
** _RedFire:_   **heh. Dork.  
** **BlackLion:**   **I made you smile  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith indeed let out a small smile again.

 

_RedFire:_   **anyway, yeah! Sounds like a great way to celebrate the date.  
** **BlackLion:**   **our anniversary  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3  
** _RedFire:_   **Don’t say it like that.  
** _RedFire:_   **It makes it sound like we’re dating.  
** **BlackLion:**   **would that be a bad thing?  
** **BlackLion:**   **._.**

Keith stopped and stared at his calculus book.

Would it be bad to date BlackLion?

His answer came in a heartbeat.

No.

It wouldn’t be that bad.

(Quite the opposite: It would be great.)

 

_RedFire:_   **no, it wouldn’t  
** _RedFire:_   **you’re a great guy  
** _RedFire:_   **I’m just… embarrassed.  
** **BlackLion:**   **of what?  
** _RedFire:_   **I don’t really know.  
** _RedFire:_   **Sorry…  
** _RedFire:_   **I’m usually embarrassed about those things…  
** _RedFire:_   **Sorry…  
** **BlackLion:**   **it’s ok  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3  
** **BlackLion:**   **I guess many people get embarrassed about dating related stuff  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3  
** **BlackLion:**   **If you’ll accept some advice from an old man  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** **BlackLion:**   **there’s nothing to be embarrassed about  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3**

Keith smiled with tenderness. BlackLion was, as always, really sweet.

 

_RedFire:_   **thanks =)  
** _RedFire:_   **I’ll try to remember that <3  
** **BlackLion:**   **and just for the record, I think you’re great too  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith blushed, the smile still on his face. He felt warmth and another feeling in his chest that he was too scared to name.

(It was starting to feel like love).

So Keith cleared his agenda for that afternoon. He changed his shift at the café; he arranged his studies so he wouldn’t have anything to read that night and he made sure not to schedule anything with his real life friends on the date.

(It was starting to feel like a date, but he was refusing to address that feeling, even if he felt giggly, light and excited for November 8th).

Everything seemed perfect…

…except Keith was feeling really anxious about it.

REALLY anxious.

At every new message, every new dork photo of Kuro, every new emoji, Keith felt jittery and felt his heart accelerate.

\- You’re really distracted. – Pidge commented during their lunch on Tuesday while poking him in the arm.

She was majoring in Computer Programming while he was majoring in Astrophysics. Their schedules were a little off, but on Tuesdays they were able to have lunch together. On that Tuesday, they were at Xoco Mexican food.

Keith stared at her.

\- Hum?

\- I just said that I was going to plan your marriage with my brother and hire a gorilla to be the priest and you just hummed.

He blushed.

\- Sorry…

She smiled.

\- Nah! It’s ok. But what’s on your mind?

Keith stared at his food.

Should he tell her?

Well, the good thing about talking to Pidge was that she usually wouldn’t mock him or tell the others about what they talked about.

Usually.

\- Can we keep this between us?

Pidge frowned, but nodded.

\- Yeah, sure. What’s going on, Keith?

He sighed.

\- It isn’t anything serious… It’s just… - he looked away, still blushing – This Friday is my… erm... this Friday it will be two months since I met BlackLion…

\- Your boyfriend.

Keith blushed just like a ripe strawberry.

\- He’s not my boyfriend.

She rolled her eyes.

\- Uhum… right.

\- Why are you people so fixated on the idea of him being my boyfriend?

\- Basically because every time we see you, you receive at least one message from him and you smile like an idiot.

\- I don’t do that!

Pidge stared at him with an unimpressed expression.

\- Really, Keith?

He was still blushing.

\- Anyway! We’re going to have a small celebration.

\- So what’s the big deal?

\- We, hum, will talk to each other for the first time.

\- By talk, do you mean a voice call?

\- Yeah…

She smiled.

\- That’s sweet.

\- Thanks… I guess.

\- So what’s the big deal?

\- I don’t know! I just… I feel kinda nervous… What if I say something stupid or what if my voice just… I don’t know, what if I stutter?

Pidge chuckled.

\- Keith, calm down, dude. It’ll be fine! I bet he’ll fall in love with your voice just like you’ll fall in love with his.

He rolled his eyes.

\- For the last time, we are just  **friends**!

It was Pidge’s turn to roll her eyes.

\- Okaaaaaay… I’ll pretend I believe that.

As if to prove a point, BlackLion sent him a link to another LotR meme.

“It really made me laugh xD” was the caption.

Keith tried to keep a straight face. If he failed, Pidge said nothing, but she had a knowing smile through the rest of lunch.

On Wednesday, Keith waited impatiently for the app to update. He was distracted during Track training, which made him run even faster than usual (as if he was trying to out run his own anxiety). Lucky for him, Lance cancelled their training together that morning (he and Dante had had a fight on the weekend and apparently Lance had been charmed into forgiving him that morning. Again), so he was alone while running a little bit too fast.

The app updated after his class, during lunchtime.

The new update was indeed, voice calls.

Keith felt a shiver of excitement mixed with anxiety run down his spine.

BlackLion sent him a message almost immediately.

 

**BlackLion:**   **DID YOU SEE IT  
** **BlackLion:**   **?  
** **BlackLion:**   **:D  
** **BlackLion:**   **THE NEW UPDATE  
** **BlackLion:**   **?**

Keith took a deep breath to calm his nerves, but he couldn’t help but smile, feeling the excitement again in his gut.

 

_RedFire:_   **yeah, I did  
** _RedFire:_   **=D  
** **BlackLion:**   **Purrrrrrfect!  
** **BlackLion:**   **:D  
** **BlackLion:**   **That means that it’s all good for Friday!**

He felt himself blushing

 

_RedFire:_   **You bet ;D  
** **BlackLion:**   **< 3**

Keith ended up going to the  gym an extra time that week. He would usually go on Mondays and Wednesdays, however, he needed to burn his anxiety somehow. Moving his body always gave him a sense of calmness that was addictive to him. That and driving fast, but since Keith had no money for the red Ducati of his dreams, exercise was the next best thing.

At last, Friday, November 8th, came.

Keith could barely concentrate all day.

BlackLion was no help at all, since his good morning message was also related to their first phone call that evening.

It was a picture of Kuro over a windowsill with a white note near her that read “Happy Anniversary <3”.

 

**BlackLion:**   **I can’t wait for tonight  
** **BlackLion:**   ***-***

Keith was torn between smiling and feeling a shiver run down his spine.

He ran too much that morning (his Track coach was thrilled while Lance was annoyed). He kept tapping his foot on the floor during class and it was a good thing that he had changed shifts with a colleague at the café, because he would have messed up everything if he went to work that day.

They hadn’t exactly specified a time to call. All that they had discussed was that they would talk at night.

Would it seem too desperate for Keith to ask for them to talk earlier?

Red meowed from the bathroom (her meow to indicate that her litter box was too dirty for her standards).

He groaned, and for one second Keith was annoyed that he would have to move away from the computer, worried that he might miss BlackLion calling.

Then he blinked.

What the fuck was wrong with him?!

It was no big deal!

Just some silly thing to do with a silly person!

(Two silly people, actually, since he, apparently, was just as silly as BlackLion).

Red meowed again, this time she seemed to be angry.

Keith laughed and stood up.

\- All right, all right. I’m coming.

At least the distraction was a good moment to clear his head a bit.

Maybe he was reading too deep into this silly thing and it wasn’t that big a deal.

Just two friends hanging out on a Friday night.

It didn’t matter if they were miles apart, they were still two bros chilling together like they did many nights, talking about books and TV series, stars and constellations, small secrets and silly jokes.

He had hung out with other friends many times before. It was no big deal!

Right?

Lying to himself with those arguments, Keith opened the site on his computer and went to his chat with BlackLion.

 

_RedFire:_   **hey are you there?**

There was very little delay on the answer.

 

**BlackLion:**   **yeah  
** **BlackLion:**   **I’m here  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3**

Keith took a deep breath.

Go big or go home, right?

 

_RedFire:_   **Do you want to make the call now?**

He bit his lips nervously while waiting for an answer (that came, again, with very little delay).

 

**BlackLion:**   **I thought you’d be at work at this time  
** **BlackLion:**   **o.o  
** _RedFire:_   **Usually, I would.  
** _RedFire:_   **I changed my shift today, so I could get home earlier  
** **BlackLion:**   **oh**

Keith could feel his heart accelerating.

 

_RedFire:_   **Was that a good “oh” or a bad “oh”? >.<**

There wasn’t any answer for a solid minute.

Keith was about to freak out.

He had screwed things up, hadn’t he?

Oh, shit! Shit!

SHIT!

He was about to type a new message, an apology for his excess of eagerness when a request box showed up over the chat.

A request for a voice call.

Keith clicked to accept almost immediately.

\- Hum, hello? – he asked, a little unsure, a little curious (and a lot hopeful).

BlackLion answered in a cheery tone.

-  _Hey! It worked! Sorry for the delay, I was trying to figure out how to make the call._

Keith couldn’t help but smile and sigh in relief.

The voice was completely different from what he could ever have possibly imagined.

Smooth like jazz, with a light deep tone.

(He liked it. A lot).

\- Aren’t you supposed to only press a button for it to work?

-  _In theory, yes,_ \- he chuckled –  _but apparently, the engineers of this site are just as confused as the ones from tumblr._

\- You have a tumblr? – Keith laugh – Why am I not surprised?

-  _Ah, come on!_  – more laugher –  _The idea of the site isn’t bad! You just have to have some common sense while navigating it._

\- And a lot of patience that I don’t have.

-  _Well, you should try to exercise that. After all, patience yields focus._

\- You read that on a fortune cookie, dork?

-  _Oh, my god! You **are**  a meanie!_

Both laughed.

After that, there was a small silence.

Keith felt uneasy. Would their conversation die so fast? It started just as easy as all the typing they had been doing!

Desperate to keep the conversation going, Keith did the first thing that came to his mind (which, admittedly, was not the most articulate way to keep a conversation going).

\- Keith.

-  _Pardon?_

Keith blushed.

\- That is… my name. I guess it would be stupid to call each other by our usernames now, so…

The other side was quiet.

\- Yeah… - Keith finished, already feeling like an idiot.

His friend, however, seemed to be on the same page as him.

-  _Nice to meet you, Keith. I’m Shiro._

Shiro’s voice was full of warmth.

It felt good to Keith to hear BlackLion (who he now knew was called Shiro) calling him by his name.

He smiled softly.

\- Nice to meet you too, Shiro.

-  _Well, technically, we’re not meeting for the first time._

Keith rolled his eyes but kept the happy smile.

\- You started the trend, dork.

Shiro laughed.

-  _I guess you’re right, but at least I made you smile, didn’t I?_

Keith chuckled.

\- Maaaaybe… - he blushed – Anyway, have you finished reading “Death by Black Hole”?

-  _Yeah! I just couldn’t put it down!_

Just like many times before, Keith and Shiro spent the rest of the afternoon, the evening and the night talking to each other. It was just so easy to get things going! Whenever Keith felt like things were getting awkward, Shiro would just laugh and make things easy again.

Keith had been yawning for a while when Shiro chuckled and said.

-  _You should go to sleep._

\- Hum, I’m fine, and I still have to prove to you that there’s life on TRAPPIST-1d.

-  _You know that there’s no such thing as aliens, right?_

\- The truth is out there!

Shiro laughed.

-  _Right, Mulder. Whatever you say._

\- You should meet my friend Pidge. She understands me!

Shiro laughed again.

-  _So you two are like conspiracy theory bros?_

Keith yawned.

\- Something like that.

There was a soft pause, like the ones Shiro used to do while typing with more thought. Keith was already expecting something cheesy and he let out a small smile.

-  _You seem tired, Keith. Go to sleep._

\- Don’t wanna…

Shiro chuckled.

-  _Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you wake up._

Keith kept his soft smile.

\- Promise?

-  _I promise._

\- So, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow.

-  _You bet. Goodnight, Keith._

\- Goodnight, Shiro.

They ended the call.

Keith was feeling light and content. He fell asleep with Shiro’s voice still playing in his head, like soft jazz in a Californian sunset.

Shiro and he didn’t call each other that morning, but as always, they still talked a lot (all starting with Shiro sending Keith another of their “Good morning from California” and a picture of Kuro over a white pillow, probably Shiro’s own pillow that the cat had claimed as hers that morning). Keith said goodbye when the time for his meeting with Lance to train came. It was sweet that Shiro said “tell Lance that I said hi :D”.

He was still in a good mood when he got to the running trail on Lake Shore Drive, even if it was starting to get colder and the wind was strong. He just couldn’t help himself, he still felt content and light-hearted.

Lance, on the other hand, seemed almost murderous when he got to the trail five minutes late.

\- Wow, you don’t look so good. – he couldn’t help but blurt out.

Lance rolled his eyes angrily.

\- No shit, Sherlock!

Keith scratched the back of his neck.

\- Do you want to talk about it?

\- No.

\- Come on, Lance. You’re not ok.

\- Why do you even care?

Keith quirked one eyebrow.

\- Because I’m your friend? Look, if you don’t want to talk, you don’t need to be rude about it.

Lance groaned.

\- Dante and I had a fight, ok?

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- What did he do this time?

\- Nothing! Why do you **always**  blame him when things go sour?

\- The real question is why you always blame yourself, especially when you didn’t do anything wrong.

\- You don’t even know what happened!

Keith crossed his arms.

\- Let me guess: he forgot that you two had a date yesterday and then proceed to give you a booty call at three in the morning.

Lance opened his mouth a few times to answer. At first he was angry, but then his expression morphed into astonishment.

\- Man, what the fuck! – he said at last – How do you know that?

Keith rolled his eyes again.

\- Because it’s not the first time he’s done  this kind of shit! Seriously, Lance, dump him already!

\- Just because you have the bonding capacity of a lone wolf doesn’t mean-

\- Lance, - Keith interrupted – you deserve better! It’s obvious that Dante is not the right person for you!

\- Why do you and Pidge  **always**  say that! I love him!

\- He doesn’t treat you right!

Lance looked away.

\- Can we just run? I don’t want to talk about this.

Keith narrowed his eyes, but sighed in defeat.

\- Yeah, yeah, whatever.

Once again, there was nothing he could do. Lance was too blind to see the imminent disaster. The worst part was that he had been dating Dante for too long. The longer he dated someone, the nastier the break up was.

Hunk was usually supportive of Lance’s love life (or at least, was the only one capable of calming him down, even if he wasn’t able to put some sense into him).

Keith and Pidge weren’t. (Not after so many times of Lance crying his eyes out because of the end of another bad romance).

After training, Keith tried to talk to Lance again.

Lance groaned.

\- Just drop it! It was my fault anyway, ok!?

\- How can him being an asshole be your fault, Lance?

\- I was being too needy! He needs to breathe!

\- Lance, that’s bullshit! This is his fault! He was the asshole!

Lance rolled his eyes.

\- I’m not going to discuss my relationship with you.

He turned his back and walked away.

Keith sighed and picked up his phone. He sent a message to Pidge.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **Lance and Dante fought last night.  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **Again.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **Seriously? How do you know?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **We met this afternoon for marathon training.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **oh!  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **And how is he?**
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Lance is blaming himself.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **WTF, AGAIN?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **yeah…  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **We really need to have an intervention to address his insecurities.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **I second this idea.  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **I’ll send a message to Hunk.  
> ** **K.Holt: Maybe he can help make him see that it wasn’t his fault.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **I doubt that, but it’s worth a shot =)**

 

Keith was about to put his phone down when she sent him another message.

   

> **K.Holt:**   **and what about YOUR date?  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **83c**

Keith blushed the same red as falling autumn leaves.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **It wasn’t a date!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **83c**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Stop looking at me like that!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **I’ll stop once you tell me EVERYTHING 83c**

Keith groaned while getting on the bus to his home. However, he smiled once he sat on an empty seat. He smiled remembering the nice night he had.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **It was nice <3**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **I think it was a little bit more than nice 8Dc**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **How can you know?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **You just used a heart emoji  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **83c**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Ok, fine!  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **It was really nice.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **wow, what an improvement! From ‘nice’ to ‘very nice’!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Oh, shut up!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **8D  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **Ok, I’ll stop messing with you  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **But tell me more about him! =D  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **We’re all curious about your friend!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **We?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **Don’t think even for a second that we don’t talk about your love life when you’re not there just like we do with Lance >8D**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **I hate all of you.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **No you don’t 8D  
> ** **K.Holt:** **Now, tell me! I want to know more  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **(and I don’t wanna have to hack your computer to find out more).**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **…I really fear for anyone that ever gets on your bad side…**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **> 83**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Anyway, it wasn’t anything that exciting  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **We just… talked  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **Just like all the other times before  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **About silly things. Books, series, space…  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **He’s just the same dork as ever**

Keith smiled, still feeling bubbly.

   

> **K.Holt:**   **And you like the dorky ones 83c**

Keith grumbled annoyed and copied the definition of friendship from Wikipedia. Pidge sent him a laughing emoji.

When he got home, Red wasn’t in a very participative mood. She was in the same room as him, but whenever Keith got closer to her, she would stare at him unimpressed and walk away. Keith sighed and took a picture of her butt.

_RedFire:_   **Good Evening from Illinois!  
** _RedFire:_   **Red is not feeling like taking pictures today  
** **BlackLion:**   **oddly enough, Kuro is acting just the same right now  
** **BlackLion:**   **xD  
** _RedFire:_   **heh. I guess our cats are conspiring against us.**

Keith took a shower (with Red staring at him from her spot over the toilet). When he got back he saw that Shiro had sent him a new message.

 

**BlackLion:**   **wanna talk again?  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3**

Keith smiled and quickly turned on his laptop. It was a little difficult to find the actual button to make the call, but he got there.

\- Sorry about the delay, I was taking a shower.

-  _Nah, it is fine. I was just wondering what kind of alien had abducted you._

Keith smiled.

\- Dork.

-  _I made you smile, didn’t I?_

\- Maaaaaybe…

Both chuckled.

-  _So, how was your day?_

It became a new routine for the two of them.

Sending messages to each other back and forth during the day and calling each other at night. Even if it was only for a few minutes, it was a new tradition to say goodnight every night.

More and more, Keith found himself telling Shiro about his day and his life. He was very thoughtful if Keith was willing to hear some silly jokes and puns (and he was).

And for some weird reason, with each day that passed, the “found my paladin” button started to bother Keith more and more. He didn’t want to think too hard about it, even with him glaring at that button every time he logged into the app or the site.

He tried to push the thought away from his mind and to focus on the good things.

Speaking with Shiro made him feel good through the entire day.

It calmed him in ways he didn’t think he could be calm.

\- You look more relaxed. – Hunk commented at one of the dancing classes that Keith had gone to with him and Shay.

The truth was that Hunk was horrible at dancing, but he was always willing to try, since Shay loved to dance.

Keith blinked.

\- Hum? Really?

\- Yeah! You usually lose your cool with some of the other dancers by now or get really frustrated with my lack of coordination.

Keith blushed sheepishly.

\- Sorry, Hunk.

\- Nah, it is fine! I get frustrated with myself too and I have to deal with it 24hrs a day. But what’s going on?

Keith shrugged.

\- Nothing. I’m just trying to improve my patience, I guess.

\- Your patience?

\- Yeah. – another shrug – Patience yields focus, or so someone told me. I’m trying to think like that.

Hunk raised his eyebrows.

\- Who?

Keith blushed again.

\- A friend.

\- I REALLY need to meet your friend. Seriously, dude, I could use some advice like that.

By now, Keith was already red as a cherry.

Shay came back from her water break that moment. She raised  her eyebrows.

\- Is everything ok, Keith?

Keith nodded.

\- I’m fine.

\- He was telling me about his friend that’s helping him be more laid back.

\- Oh. Are they your online friend?

Keith could feel that even his ears were red now.

\- Yeah, that’s him.

\- Ah! You’re still talking with him? That’s pretty cool, man! – Hunk said with a big smile – I wish my online friendships lasted that long!

Shay smiled while linking hands with her boyfriend (Hunk kissed her cheek).

\- It’s nice that he’s also a good influence in your life! – she said gently.

Keith couldn’t help but give them a smile.

\- Yeah… He is…

Hunk chuckled.

\- Don’t let Lance or Pidge catch you with that dreamy expression. They’ll never let it go.

He frowned.

\- I didn’t have a dreamy expression!

Shay and Hunk stared at him completely unimpressed.

Keith ignored the shared look.

\- So, are we going to go back to class or are the two of you calling it a day?

On the ride home, Keith couldn’t stop thinking about the whole situation.

All his friends (and even some teammates from the Track team and some colleagues from the café) had mentioned that he’d been different. A good kind of different, but different nonetheless.

That pissed Keith off.

For fuck’s sake, he was acting NORMAL!

There was nothing different about him!

He vocalized those little annoyance to Shiro that night.

Shiro laughed with good humour.

-  _You said yourself that you’re feeling more relaxed!_

Keith glared at Red’s tail while the two of them played with a laser pointer.

\- That’s beside the point!

Another laugh.

\- And stop laughing at me!

Shiro chuckled.

-  _Well, it’s not a bad change, is it? They’re saying that you seem happier and more relaxed. Isn’t that a good thing?_

Keith opened and closed his mouth a few times before groaning.

\- I hate it when you’re right.

Shiro laughed.

-  _No you don’t._

Keith chuckled.

\- See? I haaaaaate when you’re right!

Both laughed

It was easy for Keith to push those thoughts down in his mind for the next ten days.

He had his midterms to worry about after all.

The studying was frantic those two weeks.

Keith would cancel the training if he could, but he was aware that his body craved movement (his anxiety would be much higher if he dropped it). However, he skipped gym those two weeks, so he had more time in the evenings to study.

It was the Wednesday in the middle of the midterms week when it happened.

Keith was feeling guilty for not talking as much as before with Shiro, even if Shiro was being supportive and understanding.

-  _Hey, no worries!_  – he had said on Sunday –  _I know college is rough. I’m ok with giving you a little bit more of space_.

That didn’t placate Keith’s guilt, just made him more determined to talk at least for five minutes with Shiro every day.

On Wednesday, Shiro decided to try to keep Keith motivated.

-  _You’re halfway there! You can do it_.

Keith groaned into the laptop microphone (he was laying his head on the calculus book that was beside the computer).

-  _Come on! Fortify, soldier!_

Keith just groaned again.

Shiro was silent for a few moments.

Then music started to play.

Music from a Disney movie.

Keith raised his head from the table.

\- What are you doing?

-  _Let's get down to business! To defeat! The Huns!_

Shiro was singing with the music.

-  _Did they send me daughters when I asked for sons_?

Keith smiled.

\- Dork.

-  _You're the saddest bunch I ever met, but you can BET before we're through! Mister, I'll make a man out of you_!

Keith laughed, but joined Shiro on the next verse.

It was fun! Good to ease his tension from studying for calculus.

However, halfway through the music, Keith stopped.

He blinked confused.

What the hell he was doing?

Keith HATED to sing near anyone, especially Disney songs!

Why was he doing that?

-  _Be a man! We must be swift as a coursing river! Be a man! With all the force of a great typhoon! Be a man! With all the strength of a raging fire! Mysterious as the dark side of the moon!_

Keith just stared at the monitor, not really sure what was going on in his mind.

But he… liked this…

He liked singing with Shiro.

(He liked Shiro’s voice, he liked how the voice made him feel, he liked how  **good**  he felt).

Only later that night, when he was laying on his bed with Red curled up beside him, did Keith finally understand.

\- Fuck… - he said to the ceiling.

He was in love.

He had fallen in love with Shiro.

He didn’t know when or how or why it happened. It wasn’t something just from that night.

It took time for him to fall in love.

And, yet, there Keith was: head over heels for a man that he hadn’t even seen and that he couldn’t touch. How could he fall in love without any form of physical contact? It made no sense inside Keith’s head. He always related love with touch, with hugs and kisses and other things. How could he fall in love like this?

Also, there was one more thing:

Keith didn’t know if Shiro shared the feeling or if it was unrequited.

He didn’t know if things would be the same if he declared his love.

What if their friendship became strained once he talked to Shiro about his feelings?

On top of that, there was the fact that Keith hated to lie. Omission was technically a white lie, but a lie nonetheless. He wouldn’t be able to pretend that everything was the same for too long, not when he knew that he was in love with Shiro.

\- I’m screwed. – he declared to the ceiling.

Through the next days, he didn’t mention anything to Shiro.

At first he tried to pretend that it was just because of midterms. He was stressed! No need to make things worse by being awkward.

However, as soon as Thanksgiving Break started, there was no more excuse for Keith for hide behind.

He NEEDED to tell Shiro.

Otherwise, he would feel like a liar and a bad person.

“I’ll tell him on our next anniversary” Keith said to himself, trying to buy some time to get a grip on himself to be able to handle the rejection. He had planned everything and wrote down a checklist.

(A checklist that he scratched and remade so many times that it seemed more like a confused collection of scribbles than a list).

The 8th of December was on a Sunday. Keith couldn’t feel less prepared, but he decided to do it anyway.

He didn’t count on things going sour and messing even more with his life.

Like all things messy in Keith’s life, it involved Lance.

It wasn’t Lance’s fault this time.

More like Lance’s shitty boyfriend’s fault.

It started in a rather innocent way on Monday.

Keith was waiting at their usual meeting spot at the running track (after his Monday Track training). The weather was chillier than before, so waiting for too long made him a little bit too grumpy. That wasn’t a problem, since Lance was usually only 5 minutes late at most.

That day he didn’t show up.

At all.

After ten minutes, Keith started to get worried.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **Lance? Are you coming?**

Lance received the message, but he didn’t read it.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **Lance?**

No better luck.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **Lance, come on!  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **This isn’t funny!**

Five more minutes and nothing.

That called for desperate measures.

He called Lance.

Two rings.

Ended call.

Lance clicked his fucking “end call” button.

Keith glared at his phone.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **WHAT THE FUCK, LANCE!  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **PICK UP THE FUCKING PHONE!**

Lance still wasn’t reading his messages.

Keith tried to call two other times, but Lance ended both of them.

It had been twenty minutes since their scheduled meeting time when Lance showed up. Keith immediately glared at him.

\- Lance, what the fuck! Why did you-

\- Shut up, ok!?

Even if Lance hadn’t been rude, Keith would have stopped talking.

Lance’s eyes were red and wet and he had bags under his eyes.

Immediately, Keith’s protective instincts kicked in.

\- What happened?

\- It was nothing, ok!?

\- Lance you were crying-

\- Oh, so Mr. Clueless now decided to pay attention!

\- Lance, you-

\- Just shut up! I don’t need you to lecture me!

\- I won’t-

\- Just leave me ALONE!

Lance ran away. Leaving Keith blinking in confusion.

What the fuck was that?

He picked his phone to send a message to Hunk.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **Hey, Hunk, do you know what happened to Lance?**

Keith decided to take it easy that morning while waiting to see how the situation would turn out. That gave him the ability to stop and answer messages.

   

> **Hunk:** **hum?  
> ** **Hunk:** **what do mean?  
> ** **Hunk:** **did something happen to Lance?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **I don’t know. He was being really aggressive today  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **And he’d been crying. His eyes were all red.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:** **really?! O_o  
> ** **Hunk:** **did you ask him what happened?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **I tried, but he screamed at me to leave him alone and took off  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **He wasn’t answering my calls and my messages before we met today  
>  K.Kogane: And I’m pretty sure he won’t talk to me now**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:** **oh, man…**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **so I messaged you, since you’re Lance’s oldest friend**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:** **I don’t know anything about why he’s upset…  
> ** **Hunk:** **I’ll try to call him!  
> ** **Hunk:** **I’ll update you as soon as I can! =D**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Thanks, Hunk =3**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:** **…did you just used a ‘nya’ face?**

Keith cringed.

Damn! He was spending too much time with Shiro. He was even starting to mimic his emojis.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **Hunk, focus!**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:** **right! I’ll try to talk to Lance**

Keith sighed.

He would probably have to explain that to his friends in the future. Explain why he was using more emojis and the “nya” face.

(Explain that they were right and that he was in love with Shiro).

Not now, though.

Not with the turmoil of emotions and the uncertainty that Keith was in.

Later, after he’d had time to lick his wounds after Shiro’s rejection.

Speaking of the devil, his phone pinged with yet another message from Shiro.

 

**BlackLion:**   **GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD MORNING FROM CALIFORNIA!  
** **BlackLion:**   **:D  
** **BlackLion:**   **since you’re already in a winter nightmare  
** **BlackLion:**   **Kuro and I will cheer you up with our SUN!**

There was a photo attached. Kuro was laying on what seemed to be the kitchen floor under a long ray of sunlight. She was showing her tummy to the camera. There were also way too many empty bottles of beer in the corner of the picture.

Keith couldn’t help but smile, though.

 

_RedFire:_   **Good morning  
** _RedFire:_   **Did you throw a party this weekend?  
** **BlackLion:**   **hum?  
** **BlackLion:**   **A party?  
** **BlackLion:**   **o.o  
** _RedFire:_   **yeah! There are a lot of empty bottles there.**

The answer took a long while to come (an odd pause).

 

**BlackLion:**   **I had some friends over. Nothing fancy.  
** _RedFire:_ **oh, you didn’t mention it o.o  
** **BlackLion:**   **I forgot.  
** **BlackLion:**   **I’m sorry  
** _RedFire:_   **it is ok =)  
** **BlackLion:**   **soooo… How was training?  
** **BlackLion:**   **:)**

Keith didn’t get news from Lance for the rest of the day. Hunk had no better luck that day, so none of them knew about what was happening.

On Tuesday, Lance didn’t show up at all nor did he pick up his phone when Keith called.

Keith was freaking out. He had already called Hunk and Pidge, and all of them were desperately trying to locate Lance. Keith was close to calling the police when someone picked up the phone.

It wasn’t Lance.

It was Dante.

-  _What?_

Keith glared at no one in particular.

\- Dante, where’s Lance?

-  _Do I look like his nanny?_

\- He’s your  **boyfriend**!

-  _So?_

Keith took a deep breath. Shiro’s voice echoed in his head “Patience yields focus”, and he refrained from screaming at Dante.

\- And he’s not picking up his phone! You should be worried!

-  _He forgot the phone at my place. Take a chill pill, Kogane._

Keith clenched his teeth.

\- He wouldn’t forget his phone! What the hell happened?

-  _You know him! He was being an emotive bitch and stomped off for no reason!_

That was it! That asshole was ASKING for it!

\- Don’t you dare speak about Lance like that, you piece of shit!

-  _I speak about my bitches the way I want!_

At that moment, Keith saw Lance running in his direction, almost out of breath.

\- You better fucking apologize to him when you meet again or I’ll fucking kick your sorry ass to fucking Mars the next time I see you! – Keith said before hanging up and turning to Lance.

Lance had a red nose that could be because of the cold, but he also had red and puffy eyes that DEFINITELY weren’t because of the cold. He had an apologetic smile.

\- Sorry, man! My phone didn’t wake me up this morning!

Keith glared.

\- Maybe because it was at that asshole’s house.

Lance opened and closed his mouth in surprise a few times, like a fish out of water.

\- You talked to Dante?

\- Unfortunately. Seriously, Lance, what the hell happened?

Lance looked away and tried to smile again (it looked wrong on his face).

\- Nothing! It’s all just fine!

Keith groaned.

\- For fuck’s sake, Lance! You’ve been crying and that asshole is treating you like shit!

\- You don’t know what happened!

\- I don’t need to be a genius to figure out that he’s being a major asshole!

\- It was not his fault! It was all on me!

\- Lance, stop it! Stop putting the blame on yourself!

Lance tried to glare, but it was a weak attempt.

\- If we aren’t going to train today, I’d rather go home!

He turned his back and left again. Keith tried to catch him by grabbing Lance’s arm, but he was shaken off.

While staring at the back of his retreating friend, Keith created a chat with Pidge and Hunk.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **We need to make an intervention with Lance.  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **Immediately**

 

They met over lunch at Crisp to discuss how they would do that.

Their best option was during their traditional Overwatch match on Thursday. Hunk would invite him to his place. Pidge and Keith would be waiting for the intervention. Whether Lance wanted or not, the three agreed that they needed to do something. They decided what each one of them would bring or do.

On Wednesday, there was no sign of Lance at their training. Keith was about to get worried, but Hunk sent a message on the intervention group.

   

> **Hunk:**   **Hey, Keith. I just saw Lance.  
> ** **Hunk:**   **he’s not ok, man  
> ** **Hunk:**   **and he didn’t want to talk to me  
> ** **Hunk:**   **do you think it’s a good idea to try to make this intervention?**

Keith sighed. Guess he would be training alone today again, huh?

   

> **K.Holt:**   **That’s EXACTLY why we need to do the intervention.  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **He’s not ok and you know how insecure he is**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Pidge is right.  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **We need to talk to him or this’ll just get worse.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **I don’t know…  
> ** **Hunk:**   **I have a bad feeling about this.**

On Thursday, things just got more unsustainable.

Lance didn’t show up for the marathon train AND he didn’t show up for his classes. He wasn’t answering Keith’s or Pidge’s messages and phone calls. Hunk was the only one that was able to get an answer.

   

> **Hunk:**   **he said he’s ok, but I know him  
> ** **Hunk:**   **he’s not**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **Is he going to the game match/intervention?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **I don’t know, man…  
> ** **Hunk:**   **I asked him, but he didn’t answered me**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **Did he at least tell you why he and Dante fought this time?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **No  
> ** **Hunk:**   **he’s on the defensive about this**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **Shit…**

Lance didn’t show up that night at Hunk’s. He sent a hurried note saying that he couldn’t make it. He didn’t answer if he was ok or not.

The three friends stared at each other, not knowing exactly what to do. Even if this was not the first time they’d had to hold an intervention because of one of Lance’s asshole-ish boyfriend/girlfriend, it was hard to agree on what would be the best course of action. Keith wanted to talk directly to him, Hunk wanted to go more subtly and Pidge wanted to hack into Dante’s account and destroy his life.

(She had no chill. They all knew that).

That night, Keith talked with Shiro about the development of the day.

He had been filling Shiro in on the whole situation, and Shiro had been giving him advice or at least helping Keith to not overthink things too much.

\- I mean, it’s just so  **infuriating**! – Keith complained to his online friend – It’s obvious that that asshole is using all the classic emotional abuse bullshit and Lance is still with him!

Shiro hummed.

-  _Well, from what you told me about Lance, he’s a little insecure, right?_

\- More like ‘a lot insecure’.

-  _Exactly. And that kind of bad guy-_

\- Manipulative assholes.

Shiro chuckled.

-  _Language. But, yes, that kind of person. They usually prey on insecure people. A friend of mine was talking about it the other day_.

\- Really? You don’t mention your friends much.

There was a long pause.

An odd pause.

\- Shiro? Are you there?

A sigh.

-  _Yeah, I’m here. Sorry, Kuro was demanding I see something._

Keith chuckled.

\- Something interesting?

Another pause. Shiro’s tone was a bit tense when he answered.

-  _It was a leaf. I don’t know where she found it._

Keith chuckled again.

\- Cats, am I right? But you were talking about what your friend said.

-  _Oh! Right! She said that manipulative people have some kind of radar to find vulnerable people._

\- Wow, that sounds awful.

-  _Yeah. She also said that manipulative people have ways to keep control and to deceive the vulnerable person into thinking they are the problem, not the manipulative son of a gun. They usually blame themselves, not the toxic person._

Keith blinked.

\- Wow… that’s exactly what Lance is doing! He keeps saying that it’s his fault that things are going sour!

-  _Like you said, classic abusive tactics._

Keith smirked.

\- I’m pretty sure I said “bullshit”, not tactics.

-  _Yeah, but you have a serious case of potty mouth_. – it was possible to almost hear the matching smirk on Shiro’s lips.

Keith chuckled.

\- Fair enough. But why were you discussing this with your friend?

There was another long pause.

\- Shiro?

-  _Ah, sorry. I’m here._

\- Are you alright?

-  _Yeah, I’m fine._  – his voice was tense again.

\- Are you having some troubles that you aren’t telling me?

-  _No, no. Don’t worry, Keith, I’m really fine. Allura was just worried about… some of the people I met online._

\- Hum. She seems like a reasonable person. You never know who’s on the other side.

There was another long pause.

-  _Yeah…_

\- Are you sure you’re all right, Shiro?

-  _Yes, I’m ok._

\- Are you having troubles with some online friend? – he asked with a frown.

-  _What!? No!_  – Shiro groaned –  _She’s just being overprotective_.

\- Oh, ok. – he made a small pause – You can count on me if you’re having problems, you know?

A small pause.

-  _Thanks._

\- I mean it! You’ve been helping me a lot. I really want to return the favour.

Another long pause. This time, it was possible to almost hear the smile in Shiro’s answer.

-  _Thanks Keith._

Keith smiled.

\- You seem tired. Long day?

-  _Sort of…_

\- Go to sleep then. It’s good to sleep a little bit more to recover energy.

-  _Don’t wanna…_

\- Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you wake up.

-  _Promise?_

Keith had a soft smile on his lips.

\- I promise.

-  _Guess I’ll go nap-nap then._

\- Yeah, go to sleep, you dork.

Shiro chuckled.

-  _Goodnight Keith._

\- Goodnight Shiro.

He was about to end the call when Shiro spoke again.

-  _Oh! Almost forgot! Is everything ok for Sunday?_

Keith blushed.

Sunday.

December 8th.

Their third “anniversary”.

The day he had decided to confess (and probably be rejected).

Keith couldn’t help but feel cold.

\- Y-yeah! Everything’s fine for Sunday!

-  _Great! I can’t wait! Goodnight!_

Keith stayed there, staring at the computer screen.

Red meowed, as if feeling his distress. He sighed and picked her up. Keith hugged his cat and sighed. Red started to purr.

\- I’m screwed, kitty.

Friday was the first day Keith saw Lance since Tuesday. Lance didn’t seem like he had cried lately, but there were bags under his eyes and he looked sad and tired. He entered the café with his head low and he crossed his arms as soon as he saw Keith.

\- Keith.

\- You look like shit.

Lance rolled his eyes.

\- You really know how to flatter a guy. – he said with sarcasm.

\- What happened? – Keith asked with concern – We’re all worried about you!

\- I don’t want to talk about it with you.

\- Why? I’m your friend! I want to help you!

\- You wouldn’t understand.

\- Why the fuck not?

With perfect timing, Keith’s phone vibrated in his pocket. Probably another of Shiro’s sweet shenanigans.

Lance stared at him with a complex look, a mix between sadness, anger and jealousy.

\- Because of that.

Keith opened his mouth to argue that Shiro was not his boyfriend, but the words died in his mouth.

He didn’t want to lie: he WANTED to be Shiro’s boyfriend.

He frowned and decided to take another route.

\- Just because I’m happy, doesn’t mean that I can’t help you! I’m your friend, Lance! Do you really think I like to see you like this?

Lance just stared at Keith for a long time before saying:

\- I want a mocha breve.

Keith kept his frown.

\- Are you really going to run away from this conversation?

Lance looked away.

\- Travel mug, please.

He could only hand Lance his order.

Keith sighed.

\- Can you at least tell me if you’ll show up for training tomorrow?

Lance only turned his back and walked away with the saddest expression.

Saturday was uneventful.

The calm before the storm, even if Keith didn’t know it yet.

He didn’t receive any news from Lance himself, nor did Pidge. Hunk was the one filling them in, and even he was having some difficulties talking to Lance.

Keith was feeling nervous and jumpy thinking about the next day.

Should he confess right away, just after Shiro’s good morning from California?

Should he wait until evening?

Should he say it immediately and bluntly or should he go slow?

How the fuck would he go slow?

He had difficulties getting to sleep that night, even with Red (always reliable and sweet Red, even if she pretended to be a grumpy cat) purring over his tummy.

Keith woke up late on Sunday December 8th.

He stayed in his bed for longer than usual. The same questions from yesterday were still plaguing his mind and he still didn’t have any good answers. He was starting to doubt that there were any answers.

He stood up because Red was meowing annoyed, her meow for “Feed me, human!”

Keith chuckled.

\- Ok, ok. I’m going, primadonna.

After filling her bowls, he walked around the apartment. He checked his confession checklist again, but it didn’t have anything useful. It almost didn’t look like handwriting. Keith crumbled it up and threw away in the trash.

He ate some cereal for brunch.

He was anxious, and because of that, he couldn’t help but keep moving his leg.

Keith tried to study, but his mind was too unfocused and nervous.

He was about to call Shiro and just tell him and blow everything up when Pidge sent a frantic message.

   

> **K.Holt:**   **GUYS!  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **I FIGURED OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO LANCE!  
> ** **K.Holt:**   **YOU WON’T FUCKING BELIEVE WHAT THAT SON OF A BITCH ASSHOLE BOYFRIEND DID!**

Keith raised his eyebrows. He and Hunk answered almost at the same time.

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **What did the dipshit do?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **What did Dante do?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **HE FUCKING CHEATED ON LANCE ON THEIR FOUR MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **WHAT THE FUCK!?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **How do you know that, Pidge?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **HE HAS ___PICTURES___ ON HIS FACEBOOK PAGE! AND HE CHANGED HIS STATUS TO “IN A RELATIONSHIP”!**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **!!!!!!!!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **SON OF A BITCH!  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **HE REFUSED TO CHANGE HIS PROFILE TO SHOW HIS RELATIONSHIP WITH LANCE AND NOW HE DOES THIS SHIT!?  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **I’m gonna murderize the asshole.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **I’ll help with hiding the body**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **I can be the alibi, but guys, we have to think about Lance first!  
> ** **Hunk:** **When was the picture**   **posted, Pidge?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **last Sunday night**

Keith cursed aloud. Shit… that was exactly the time when Lance started to act weird.

But that also means…

   

> **K.Kogane:**   **wait, he has been suffering with this through the WHOLE WEEK?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **oh no…  
> ** **Hunk:**   **we need to do something  
> ** **Hunk:**   **right NOW**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **are you sure?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **positive  
> ** **Hunk:**   **he’s probably feeling alone and feeling like shit  
> ** **Hunk:**   **if we don’t go there, it will just escalate until he’s a complete mess**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **ok. I’m the one who lives nearest to him, I’ll get there fastest  
> ** **K.Kogane:**   **I’ll buy the ice cream**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **great! I think I have some leftovers  
> ** **Hunk:**   **they’re probably still tasty**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **I have tequila**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **no, we don’t need him drunk  
> ** **Hunk:**   **do you remember last time?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:**   **yeah, but he also likes to get wasted in these situations**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:**   **and he usually is more relaxed after that**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:**   **damn…  
> ** **Hunk:**   **ok, you’re right  
> ** **Hunk:**   **We’ll meet at his house**

Keith was already getting dressed and running to the nearest convenience store that had Lance’s favourite chocolate ice cream. It was a little expensive, but it was also the best.

The bus ride to Lance’s apartment was tense. He kept checking his phone for more updates on the situation. Apparently, Hunk had told Lance that they knew what had happened and that they were coming. Lance was not taking the news very well and was not answering, not even to Hunk.

When Keith got to Lance’s building, it took at least eight times pressing the intercom button before Lance opened for him without saying a word.

He was at the door when Keith got to Lance’s floor.

His eyes were puffy and red again. He had his arms crossed in a defensive position and he was trying to glare at Keith (even if the attempt was weak).

\- So you came to throw it in my face? To say how much of an idiot I am?

Keith looked at him with sadness.

\- I would never do that. – he said softly.

\- Don’t play dumb! I know you came here to mock me!

Keith showed him the bag.

\- I bought ice cream.

\- Stop pretending you care!

\- It’s chocolate, your favourite.

\- Just stop!

Lance was fighting tears.

\- Just go away! – he shouted, glaring at Keith in the most saddening way.

Keith opened his arms.

\- I can give hugs too. – he said quietly – They’re not as good as Hunk’s, but they can make due until he gets here.

Lance still glared at him for a while before starting to tremble and crumble.

When he started to sob, he hugged Keith tightly in a sudden fashion.

Keith hugged back as tight as he could.

\- It’s ok, I’m here.

He let Lance sob for a few moments on his shoulder before saying gently.

\- Come on, let’s get inside.

He put the ice cream in the fridge before sitting with his friend on the sofa.

Lance sobbed for a while, lying his head on Keith’s lap while Keith ran his fingers through his brown hair. When the sobs quieted down, Keith served some of the ice cream. Lance ate quietly, still sniffing and fighting a losing battle against his tears. Keith just massaged his head and shoulders.

Pidge was the second to get there (after convincing her brother to give her a ride). Although Lance begged to her to let him drink the booze already, she was firm in her position that they should eat first.

She had brought her laptop with her, and she was selecting a Disney movie for them to watch when Hunk got there. He was full of bags with all the left overs he had in his fridge (he might be an awesome engineering student, but he was also an ace in the kitchen. Even the leftovers were delicious).

Lance was basically eating and crying at the same time while they watched Mulan.

He always was a messy crier, with a running red nose, and eyes full of too many tears. His friends were taking turns hugging him, playing with his hair and bringing more things to eat or drink.

During the second movie (The Emperor’s New Groove), they finally opened the tequila bottle. They all drank one shot with Lance (the first shot), but after that it was all on Lance. They didn’t mind. It was good for him, since soon enough Lance would start to talk about what was hurting him (the wonders of alcohol).

In the middle of the movie, Keith’s cell phone vibrated with a new message from Shiro.

 

**BlackLion:**   **hey!  
** **BlackLion:**   **:D  
** **BlackLion:**   **Good Morning from California!  
** **BlackLion:**   **(although it’s already afternoon xD)**

He sent a picture of Kuro under a big black hoodie.

 

**BlackLion:**   **also,  
** **BlackLion:**   **happy anniversary!  
** **BlackLion:**   **☆** ***:.** **｡** **. o(** **≧** **▽≦** **)o .** **｡** **.:*** **☆**

Oh, shit!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Fuck!

Keith had forgotten completely about their anniversary (and his plan to confess) in the midst of the mess with Lance.

He excused himself quickly to go to the bathroom (Lance was still just drinking in silence, so it was fine for now).

 

_RedFire:_   **Sorry, I can’t speak right now  
** **BlackLion:**   **DDD:  
** **BlackLion:**   **but it is our anniversary!  
** **BlackLion:**   **(**   **╯**   **︵**   **╰**   **,)**

Keith bit his lips.

 

_RedFire:_   **I know!  
** _RedFire:_   **I’m so so sorry! >.<  
** _RedFire:_   **It’s an emergency  
** **BlackLion:**   **wait, really?  
** **BlackLion:**   **o__o  
** **BlackLion:**   **are you all right?  
** _RedFire:_   **It’s Lance  
** _RedFire:_   **We found out that that asshole cheated on Lance  
** **BlackLion:**   **oh no!  
** **BlackLion:**   **(**   **＊〇**   **□**   **〇**   **)  
** **BlackLion:**   **is he ok?  
** _RedFire:_   **No, he’s really miserable  
** _RedFire:_   **I’m sorry, I have to give him support**

Keith was already typing another apology when Shiro answered.

 

**BlackLion:**   **you don’t have to apologize  
** **BlackLion:**   **I totally understand  
** **BlackLion:**   **stay with him as long as he needs you  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3  
** _RedFire:_   **are you ok with that?  
** **BlackLion:**   **obviously, Keith o.o  
** **BlackLion:**   **I know that Lance is one of your best friends  
** **BlackLion:**   **and I know that you’re a great guy and a great friend  
** **BlackLion:**   **:3  
** **BlackLion:**   **we can celebrate tomorrow or another day  
** **BlackLion:**   **he needs you most now**

Keith smiled softly.

 

**RedFire:**   **Thanks… you’re really great!  
** **BlackLion:**   **I try my best  
** **BlackLion:**   **now go!  
** **BlackLion:**   **and give him a hug on my behalf  
** _RedFire:_   **heh. Ok. TTYL**

When he came back to the room, Lance stared at him with glassy eyes.

\- You stayed a long time in the bathroom.

His speech was already slurred.

Keith gave him a sheepish smile.

\- Sorry. I already told Shiro that I can’t speak now. Now I’m all yours.

\- Shiro?

\- Yeah… my online friend… Black Lion…

Lance glared.

\- Oh, I’m sorry if my problems are less important than your boyfriend.

Keith cringed.

\- I’m sorry Lance. Today’s our anniversary, so he wanted to speak with me.

Three pair of eyes stared at him in surprise.

\- Anniversary!? – Hunk asked astonished.

\- You said over and over again that you two weren’t dating! – Pidge accused him.

Keith blushed.

\- And we’re not. He’s just a big dork and likes to call it that. I indulge him.

Lance lowered his eyes, new tears blooming in his eyes.

\- And here I am, being an ass to you and keeping you away from your boyfriend on your anniversary.

He started to cry again.

Keith sighed and sat near Lance, hugging him.

\- It is fine, Lance. Shiro understands. He sent you a hug.

However, Lance had entered his venting mood.

\- I can’t do anything right! I’m just so pathetic! – he sobbed.

Then, Lance told the whole story of his week.

He found out about Dante’s cheating when he was messing with Dante’s phone. Then they proceed to argue. Dante accused  him of being a stupid whiny bitch, told him that he was useless since he didn’t act like a real Latino lover, and humiliated Lance in every way he could think of. Through the week, not only had Dante updated his status on Facebook, but he had also published all the pictures he had of his cheating (apparently, he had been doing that for quite a while). Retrieving his phone from Dante’s house had been another terrible experience. Dante hadn’t missed one opportunity to rub it in Lance’s face and taunt him with that “fake Latino lover” bullshit. Lance had spent the whole week feeling humiliated, miserable and ashamed.

His friends spent the rest of the day consoling him while Lance cried like there was no tomorrow. Late that night, Hunk kicked Keith and Pidge from the apartment.

\- Don’t worry guys, I can handle this. We’ll talk tomorrow.

Keith was exhausted when he got home.

He dropped his body unceremoniously onto the couch with his face down. He stayed like that for a few moments, until Red climbed on his back, demanding petting.

Keith stayed like that for a while staring at the living room ceiling and petting his cat.

Now that the situation with Lance had been sort of solved (the whole team would still have a lot to work through the next weeks), he couldn’t help but think about Shiro.

Keith felt like he had missed the opportunity to confess.

Rationally, he knew that he could confess on any day. However, their informal anniversary felt like it held a special meaning to their relationship. It was the perfect date to confess his feelings.

Keith stared at the time on his phone.

Almost midnight.

Enough time to do something bold and crazy.

He stared at the cat on his stomach.

\- What should I do, kitten?

Red blinked contently.

Somehow, that solidified the will in Keith to be bold.

He opened the  _findyourpaladin_  app.

The button “I’ve found my paladin” was there, as always.

Keith sighed.

\- Go big or go home, right Red?

Red meowed, still content.

Keith pressed the button.

The site gave him two options: to declare who his paladin was or to keep the secret. Keith opted for the latter. He didn’t know how Shiro would react, so he wanted to talk to him first (to be rejected already so he could lick his wounds sooner).

A celebratory animation popped up on the app.

_Congratulations on finding your paladin!_

Keith was too anxious to even be annoyed with the tacky celebration.

The next morning, Lance showed up at their scheduled time for the marathon training.

Lance looked abashed.

\- Keith… I’m sorry…

Keith just shrugged.

\- I’m sorry that I was an ass last week…

\- Yeah, you were really an asshole.

Lance cringed.

Keith sighed.

\- But I’m your friend. I’ll forgive you eventually. Just don’t do that again.

Lance nodded.

\- Yeah… I won’t… And, hum, I’m sorry that I screwed up your anniversary.

Keith blushed.

\- It’s ok.

\- Is your boyfriend mad? Shiro isn’t it?

\- Yeah, it’s Shiro. And… we haven’t talked yet.

\- Oh.

\- And we’re not… we’re not actually dating.

Lance looked at him.

\- But you want to.

Keith looked away.

\- Yeah…

Oddly enough, Shiro didn’t talk with Keith through the whole day. That didn’t help Keith’s anxiety at all.

When he got home that evening, he quickly snapped a picture of Red licking her front paw.

 

_RedFire:_   **Good Evening from Illinois!**

Shiro was online, but Keith got no answer.

 

_RedFire:_   **Shiro?  
** _RedFire:_   **Are you there?**

It took at least five minutes until he got an answer (enough time for Keith to turn on his laptop).

 

**BlackLion:**   **yeah… I’m here  
** **BlackLion:**   **can we speak now?**

 

Keith gulped.

 

_RedFire:_   **yeah, sure**

Shiro called him almost immediately.

\- H-hey, Shiro.

-  _…hi, Keith._

Shiro’s tone was hesitant.

\- Are you ok, Shiro?

No immediate answer.

\- You’ve been awfully quiet today…

Shiro sighed on the other side of the line.

-  _Yes, I’m ok._

There was a brief pause.

-  _You pushed the button._

It wasn’t a question, nor was it an accusation.

It was a sad statement.

Keith felt a knot in his stomach from nerves.

\- Hum… yeah… I did…

He was still feeling unsure about telling Shiro.

-  _Congratulations!_  – Shiro was obviously trying to force some merriness to his tone –  _Who’s the lucky guy?_

Keith took a deep breath.

Go big or go home.

\- …you… it’s you…

There was another brief pause.

-  _What!?_

Keith cringed. He started to ramble, desperately to be forgiven for his stupidity.

\- Look, I’m sorry this thing got messy! I really didn’t think something like this would happen!

-  _Keith, I-_

\- You don’t have to do anything! We can continue as friends if you don’t want it!

-  _No, Keith, I-_

\- I’m really sorry! I know this is ridiculous and pathetic and I really don’t know what I was thinking when I pressed that stupid button!

-  _Keith can you just-_

\- I was going to talk to you yesterday! But then things got messy and when I saw it was already almost midnight!

-  _Keith! Let me-_

\- I know you deserve more and that you probably aren’t interested and I’m sorry-

Keith’s tirade was interrupted when another celebration pop up showed up on his computer screen.

“ _A paladin pressed the button and announced you as their significant other!_ ” It showed that Shiro had pressed the button and publically declared that Keith was his paladin.

Keith stared at the screen. He was thunderstruck.

Was this a Twilight Zone episode?

What was going on?!

-  _Sorry,_  - Shiro chuckled –  _you were saying?_

Keith was still staring at the screen.

His brain was having some technical difficulties.

\- You pressed the button.

-  _Yes, I did!_  – Shiro sounded proud of himself.

\- You pressed the button!

Shiro chuckled.

-  _Yeah, it seemed like the only way to get your attention back_. – he took a deep breath –  _I… I’ve liked you, for quite a while actually_.

He laughed softly. It was almost possible to hear the smile in his voice.

-  _But you said that you weren’t interested in a long distance relationship, and that you wanted us to only be friends. So I wasn’t going to say anything. Then I saw this morning that you had pushed the button and chose not to tell who you were in love with. Sorry if I was quiet after that, I was kinda freaking out and moping, thinking that I’d lost my chance_.

It was Keith’s turn to smile.

\- I was going to talk to you yesterday, but things didn’t go as I’d planned. How long have you…?

-  _I don’t know exactly... but I know that I was already in love with you when you asked if I was interested… I’m sorry if I lied back there when I said I didn’t have any expectations. I…_  - he laughed –  _I really hoped that you would change your mind about the long distance thing._

A soft sigh.

-  _What about you?_

Keith looked at the keyboard, blushing and smiling

\- It was when you were singing that silly Mulan song to motivate me.

Shiro laughed.

-  _Really?_

Keith couldn’t help but laugh too.

\- It’s true! Although… I think I was already in love with you for quite a while… I just hadn’t realized it yet.

There was a brief pause.

\- What do we do now? – Keith asked quietly and with uncertainty – I can’t see how this kind of romance can work out…

-  _Keith, baby, we’ll figure out._  – Shiro’s happiness was contagious.

Keith blushed and smiled.

\- Ok… But you’re still a dork.

Shiro chuckled.

-  _But I made you smile, didn’t I?_

Keith’s smile broadened.

\- Yeah, you did.

They stayed in a comfortable silence for a while before quietly starting to talk about sweet and silly things.

Keith had no idea what the future of the relationship was.

But at that moment he didn’t care.

He was too caught up in the delight of that new love to worry about things going wrong.

They would figure things out.

Together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ## LINK FOR THE ART OF THIS CHAPTER [[HERE]](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/post/164007434884/catfish-sheith-read-on-ao3-lance-with-his)
> 
> Making off this chapter:
> 
> When I started writting, Season 3 was planned to be aired on September. If the season 3 hadn't been aired in advance, the first conversation of them would have been more interesting x_x  
> It was planned to be published before S3.  
> Well, things didn't go as planned ._.
> 
> I did the phone numbers in colour, with small boxes, with Keith's number on the left and the others on the right (as closer to a real phone chat as possible). But Ao3 doesn't like colours TT^TT  
> I tried to make it as closer as possible to a cell phone chat with the resourses I have on Ao3.
> 
> I have this headcanon that Lance falls in love easily and that he tries his best to make things work, even bearing some thing he usually would hate.  
> He is a nice boy deep down <3
> 
> Keith took A LONG time to realize that he was head over heels Shiro. Poor clueless baby hahaha.  
> Maybe Lance is not the only one ignoring red flags by the way 83c
> 
> I talked with [@caomeiart](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/) to keep Pidge's hair long because, on the series she seemed to like it. She only cut because she needed to hide her identity. So I like to include this detail on the fanfic (more in future chapters) and on the art. A small tribute to her feminine tastes =3 she liked to wear dresses in pastel purple.  
> I hope you like it <3
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked!
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to find me! (I'm kinda awkward, but yeah...).  
> [@wonderland-s-angel](http://wonderland-s-angel.tumblr.com/). I swear that I don't bite, I'm just a dork with a pink blog.  
> I'm having some problems with the tagging system on tumblr, so just talk to me if you want to call my attention.
> 
> Comments help me to get going, you know. Like, SERIOUSLY, they keep me going. I feed on them and I'm always hungry.
> 
> I hope I’ll see ya next week!
> 
> Bye-bye! o/


	3. There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

>  **Attention! There is some sexual content on this chapter, it is just indicated, not explicit.**  
>  Also, I made Lance be from Florida instead of Cuba because, since the story is set in the present time, the USA and Cuba still have a strained relation, making it kinda difficult for a Cuban citizen to come and go as he please on the US.
> 
> English is not my first language. This story if fully betaed, but there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THINKING OR TALKING INSIDE ONE'S HEAD
> 
> The text with blockquotes are the cellphone messages. Others are chat messages.
> 
> Now, to the story!

If a few months ago someone told Keith that he would be in a happy relationship by Christmas, a _long distance_ happy relationship nonetheless, he would have stared unimpressed at them and called them crazy.

Now?

 

 **BlackLion:** **I CANT BELIEVE that you had a crush on Arnold Schwarzenegger  
****BlackLion:** **!!!!!  
****BlackLion:** **XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD  
****BlackLion:** **LOL  
****BlackLion:** **｡ﾟ･** **(** **≧** **▽≦** **)** **･ﾟ｡**

 

Now he was dating this dork.

 

 _RedFire:_ **I WAS 12!  
**_RedFire:_ **GIVE ME A BREAK!  
****BlackLion:** **｡ﾟ** **(T** **ヮ** **T)** **ﾟ｡  
****BlackLion:** **☚** **(** **ﾟヮﾟ** **☚** **)  
**_RedFire:_ **Are you done?  
****BlackLion:** **Ｏ** **(** **≧∇≦** **)** **Ｏ  
****BlackLion:** **6((((** **≧** **▽≦** **))))9  
**_RedFire:_ **(#¬_¬)  
****BlackLion:** **okok  
****BlackLion:** **xD  
****BlackLion:** **I’m done  
****BlackLion:** **XD  
**_RedFire:_ **so am I (** **ಠ** **∩** **ಠ** **)  
****BlackLion:** **xD  
**_RedFire:_ **(** **ಠ** **∩** **ಠ** **)  
****BlackLion:** **come on babe  
****BlackLion:** **don’t be like that  
****BlackLion:** **xD  
**_RedFire:_ **(** **ಠ** **∩** **ಠ** **)  
****BlackLion:** **( ˘ 3˘)♥  
**_RedFire:_ **(** **ಠ** **∩** **ಠ** **)  
****BlackLion:** **( T ³T)  
**_RedFire:_ **(** **ಠ** **∩** **ಠ** **)  
****BlackLion:** **…  
****BlackLion:** **…ok…  
****BlackLion:** **sorry  
****BlackLion:** **I swear that I’m not laughing anymore  
****BlackLion:** **sorry that I laughed babe  
****BlackLion:** **｡ﾟ･（** **>** **﹏** **<** **）･ﾟ｡**

Keith couldn’t help but smile gently.

He never could stay mad for too long with Shiro (especially not at such silly things like that).

 

 _RedFire:_ **(¬ω¬)**  
_RedFire:_ **(** **っ** **˘з** **(˘** **⌣** **˘ )**  
**BlackLion:** **(*^3(*^o^*)**  
**BlackLion:** ** <3 <3 <3**  
_RedFire:_ **Dork**  
**BlackLion:** **But I made you smile**  
**BlackLion:** **right?  
** **BlackLion:** **:3**

Keith chuckled, feeling happy with the result of their “emoji talk”.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Yeah, you did <3**  
**BlackLion:** ** <3**  
**BlackLion:** **So,**  
**BlackLion:** **jokes aside**  
**BlackLion:** **I’m curious about your crush**  
**BlackLion:** **:3**  
_RedFire:_ **ahhhh… that was a long time ago…**  
**BlackLion:** **I know**  
**BlackLion:** **but I want to know everything about you  
** **BlackLion:** ** <3**

He blushed and smiled.

Shiro was sooo cheesy!

(Keith LOVED it).

 

 **BlackLion:** **I’m a curious cat  
B** **lackLion:** **(*ΦωΦ*)  
**_RedFire:_ **My break is almost over  
**_RedFire:_ **I’ll tell you later  
****BlackLion:** **ok :3  
****BlackLion:** **I’ll remember this  
****BlackLion:** **(*ΦωΦ*)  
**_RedFire:_ **heh. I bet you will  
**_RedFire:_ **gotta go, TTYL!  
****BlackLion:** **(^3^)**

When Keith almost entered the café, he received one last message from his boyfriend.

 

 **BlackLion:** **in the meanwhile  
** **BlackLion:** **DICKS OUT FOR ARNOLD!** **＼（＠￣** **∇** **￣＠）／**

Keith was guffawing when he got back to work on that 20th of December.

The Christmas that year was the best Keith had had in YEARS.

Holidays weren’t easy for him.

He would always miss his father the most or he would remember of all the years during his childhood staring through the windows of toy stores and envying the kids with their parents and family.

Through most of the year, Keith thought he was above that. That he had overcome his shitty childhood and that he was fine. He had great friends, he was in college with the major of his dreams and with a relatively small debt (since he had the scholarship and he had a job). He was just fine!

However, holidays were still a sore spot, even if he didn’t want to admit it. His friends had always offered to take him in (Hunk’s mom had even offered to pay for his plane ticket). No matter how much they honestly tried, though: Keith couldn’t help but feel like he was just a stranger.

This year, things were different.

He spent Christmas Eve lying on his bed talking with Shiro.

Although it seemed boring and ordinary, Keith had never felt more at ease and content.

It almost felt like being home after so long.

He had asked if Shiro didn’t have anyone to spend Christmas with. Shiro sighed.

\- _My parents kinda kicked me out after I came out to them._

\- Oh, fuck… I’m sorry, Shiro…

Shiro laughed.

\- _Nah, I think it was for the best. They were never the loving type. At least I could decorate my whole first apartment with pride flags._

\- Heh. Sounds like you, dork.

\- _Ah, babe, don’t be meeeean! It is Christmas!_

Both laughed.

\- _Oh, my God! I’m dating the Grinch!_

\- Oh, shut up.

\- _But, what about you?_

\- What about me?

\- _Don’t you spend the holidays with some friends or something? I know that you don’t have relatives, so what do you usually do?_

Keith scratched Red’s ears while she purred. He looked at his feet.

\- I’m usually spend it alone. I make some hot chocolate and a sandwich and watch “The Nightmare before Christmas”.

- _That sounds quite lonely._

Keith shrugged and just grunted in response.

\- _Why don’t you spend it with your friends? They seem like nice people._

\- Yeah… They always invite me to spend the holidays with them, but…

Keith couldn’t put into words how he felt about it. It was complicated and he was not always good with words. Thus, he just sighed. Red seemed to feel his distress and rubbed her head on his chin in a comforting way while purring.

\- _But you feel like they are only doing that out of pity_. – Shiro said quietly – _And you feel out of place, sticking out like a sore thumb._

His tone was sad and tired.

Keith blinked a few tears away.

\- Yeah… How… How do you know…?

Shiro sighed.

\- _Can we… not talk about it?_

\- Not now or not ever?

- _I… Yeah…_

Keith couldn’t help but smile a little.

\- That’s hardly an answer for my question.

Shiro snorted.

\- _I mean… I want to tell you, Keith, I really do… Just… can you wait a little longer?_

Keith smiled gently.

\- Yeah, take your time. At least you know how to put that feeling into words.

\- _Hey, don’t worry, things will get better. For both of us._

Keith rolled gently to his side, so now Red was laying beside him. She offered her tummy for him to pet and he complied. She purred and he smiled.

\- I kinda feel that it has already improved a little.

\- _Really?_

\- Yeah.

\- _How? Did something happened in the last 30 seconds that you would like to share, baby?_ – his tone was amused.

Keith chuckled.

\- We are not alone this year.

There was a brief pause.

\- _Oh, Keith… That was so sweet…_

\- Heh. Just don’t tell anyone.

\- _You have a badass reputation to maintain._

\- That’s right!

Shiro chuckled.

\- _You are adorable._

\- Shut up, you dork!

\- _Heh. You’re the dork that watches a Halloween movie on Christmas!_

\- What the hell are you talking about? – Keith laughed – “The Nightmare before Christmas” is totally a Christmas movie!

They talked about that and other silly things all through the night. There were one or two other meaningful moments again (Keith learned that Shiro HATED the cold, that it made him feel like shit, for reasons he didn’t want to talk about yet. The other moment was when Keith was talking about his few memories of spending Christmas with his dad, he cried a little and Shiro let go of the subject).

Keith made sure to stay up until 2 am. He was fighting against sleep (since the winter coldness always made him a little more sleepy than usual), but it was worth it when the clock turned and he could say with tenderness:

\- Merry Christmas, Shiro.

Shiro chuckled.

\- _Oh, so that’s why you weren’t going to bed._

\- Fight me.

\- _Heh. No, you would probably win._

\- Damn right.

He yawned.

Shiro laughed gently before adding:

\- _Yeah, Merry Christmas, Keith._

Keith smiled. Through the window glass, Keith could see the first snowflakes falling slowly.

\- Wow, I’m actually having a white Christmas this year.

\- _Really!? Awesome! I never had one, living in Cali and all._

Keith yawned again.

\- Nah, snow is a pain in the ass. It is cute in pictures, but in real life… – another yawn – In real life, that shit is annoying.

There was another soft pause.

\- _You’re tired._

\- No, I’m not.

\- _You have been yawning for a while._

\- I came here for a good time and I’m feeling soooo attacked right now.

Shiro laughed.

\- _You are spending more time with Pidge, I see. You are already being contaminated with memes._

\- Heh. Something… – he yawned – Something like that.

\- _Go to sleep, baby._ – Shiro’s tone was tender – _I’ll be here tomorrow when you wake up_.

Keith smiled at the computer screen.

\- Promise?

\- _I promise._

\- Ok then… Goodnight Shiro.

\- _Goodnight, Keith._

Winter was getting colder and colder as the days were getting shorter. However, sometimes Keith thought that the new intimacy between Shiro and him was enough to make him feel warm and content. Just like a cat lying under sunshine.

Shiro always felt like a ray of sunshine.

Sunset Jazz…

Something like that.

He was still in high spirits when he got back to work on the 26th (more money for him in a low demanding time of the year).

Pidge went there on that Thursday afternoon to wait for him to end his shift (they were going to the movies).

Keith took the orders to his friend’s table.

\- A big double espresso black with no sugar or cream and a chocolate donut. You shouldn’t drink all that coffee, Pidge.

She stared at him as if challenging him while taking a long sip.

\- Fight me.

Keith really wanted to keep a straight face, but he couldn’t help but snicker.

\- Brat.

Pidge smiled smugly, toying with her long hair and drinking her coffee.

They were enjoying the first week after finals and the first week of Winter Break. Lance had gone back to visit his family in Florida and Hunk had gone to Hawaii to be with his mom for the holidays (he took Shay with him, much to Rax, Shay’s brother, chagrin). That left only Keith (that had no family to go back to) and Pidge (whose family was from Chicago and still lived in the suburbs) to hang out during winter.

The business was slow in the café (due to the Winter Break), thus Keith sat in front of Pidge.

\- You look happy Keith. – she smirked.

Keith blushed.

Since Shiro and he started to date during the week before finals, it wasn’t possible to tell all his friends about it. Not with the frantic study nights, extra work in the café and having to cheer Lance up (they wouldn’t let their friend fail finals just because of a bad break up).

After finals, Hunk and Lance were already gone to see their families.

Which gave him only the option to tell Pidge about it in person.

Not that Keith minded that. He just wanted to tell all his friends, but he guessed that would have to wait (because he didn’t want to tell that via message).

\- Oh, don’t start it. – he said, rolling his eyes.

She laughed.

\- But it is true! You are still beaming because of your boyfriend.

Keith puffed in annoyance.

Pidge smiled.

\- Don’t worry, it’s a compliment. Shiro must be a great guy, since you have been this happy and relaxed since you met him.

Keith smiled good-humoured.

\- He is a dork!

\- And we know that you like the dorky ones.

He laughed.

\- Yeah, guess you’re right.

\- Of course I’m right! Hunk agrees with me!

Keith blinked.

\- Wait, did you tell Hunk about it?

She looked away, blushing.

\- …maybe?

\- Pidge! – Keith narrowed his eyes – I told you that I would tell them myself!

\- Well, you can still tell Lance.

\- Hunk and Lance were already close friends even before we met them. Don’t you think that he would’ve already told Lance about it?

\- …damn…

Keith glared at her.

\- Pidge, that was not your news to tell!

She cringed.

\- I’m sorry! We were just really wondering when it would happen!

\- When?

\- Oh, come on, Keith! You were head over heels for that guy! You were all smiley and calm like we haven’t seen you before, and we have known you for more than 3 years now! It was just a matter of time!

He narrowed his eyes again.

\- You three didn’t make a bet over it, did you?

Pidge blushed harder (how she was one of their best poker players and still an open book at other times was a mystery to Keith).

\- …maybe…? ...kinda…?

\- PIDGE!

She cringed again.

\- Sorry!

He glared at her for an instant before slouching down defeated.

\- Who won?

Pidge toyed with her long hair.

\- No one, actually. Hunk didn’t want to participate, Lance bet that it would be around Midterms and I bet on Valentine’s Day.

\- Valentine’s Day? Wow, thanks for believing in me. – he said sarcastically.

\- Sorry! I’ve just never seen you like that before, so I assumed that it would take a while for you to figure it out. – she sighed – Lance wanted to push things after he lost the bet, but Hunk and I told him to let the two of you figure it out on your own.

Keith glared at her for a moment before sighing.

\- At least nobody won.

\- Well, Hunk did suggest that you two could get together around Christmas. He said something about Christmas magic, - she cowered down a little under Keith’s glare – b-but since he didn’t want to bet, nobody won!

He rolled his eyes but chuckled.

\- You’re assholes. All of you.

Pidge gave him a little smirk.

\- Oh, come on! We did the same thing with Hunk and Shay!

\- And if I remember things correctly, I didn’t participate on your bet.

\- Ok, you got me here.

That night, after the movies, Hunk and Lance were already sending him congratulations messages. Lance was still not as cheery as he usually was, but everybody guessed that it was because he was still recovering from all the abusive boyfriend shit. Hunk was a lot merrier.

  

> **Hunk:** **Man, I’m REALLY happy for you :D  
>  ** **Hunk:** **Shay too <3**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:** **heh. Thanks, Hunk**
> 
>  
> 
> **Hunk:** **I told them, man: Christmas magic**

Obviously, Keith complained about that with Shiro that night.

\- It’s SO annoying! – he rolled in bed in his agitation – I was supposed to tell them! Also, a bet! For fuck’s sake, what is it? Fourth grade?

Shiro laughed.

\- _They just wanted you to be happy._

\- I know! But, still my story to tell!

\- _Ok, ok, no arguing on this point._

Keith looked at the ceiling before chuckling.

\- Don’t tell Lance, but he kinda won the bet.

\- _Hum? But didn’t he bet on the Midterms in November?_

\- Yeah, but I, hum... kinda realized that I was in love by that time.

Shiro chuckled.

\- _Oh, yeah. I remember that. Maybe we should repeat the experience._

Keith laughed.

\- Oh no.

\- _But this time with a duet!_

Keith guffawed.

\- Oh no! Don’t you dare!

Shiro was laughing too.

\- _You have 30 seconds to choose a song or I will._

\- You dork!

\- _20 seconds, Keith_.

\- Ok, hum… ok, what about… Hum… A whole new world?

\- _Ah… a classic! Good choice!_

Keith blushed.

\- Oh, fuck, I hate to sing.

\- _But you sang with me before._

\- Yeah, but… I don’t know… I don’t sing well…

\- _Nonsense, baby! You’re great._

\- And you are a big flatterer. – Keith laughed.

\- _I only speak the truth!_ – Shiro chuckled in response – _Come on, Keith, It will be fun!_

Keith stared tenderly at the screen.

\- Fiiiine! But I get to sing Aladdin’s part.

Shiro laughed again.

\- _As you wish!_

On the next day, Shiro sent some silly animal shaming picture of Kuro (“I steal my dad’s right socks. Only the right”) and her stack behind the sofa. Keith laughed during his marathon training and forgot about his insecurities from the other night.

Shiro had that magical effect on him, of making him feel secure and loved, even if they were being silly.

Winter Break had never been better for Keith. He felt so at peace having just to deal with his marathon training and his job. Lots of time to hang out with Pidge and to talk with Shiro. The squad would do video calls from time to time (and still play Overwatch together, of course).

Pidge was making a wood laptop (the whole circuit was normal plastic and metal, while the body was made of wood). She said she was trying to get in touch with nature in her own way (she had got really inspired after a class showing math in nature). It had been a while since Keith had seen her so focused and pleased with something that was not pure codding.

Hunk and Shay were having a great time, enjoying the beach in fucking January. Keith sometimes was really envious of their weather. They had some really cute couple pictures on their respective Facebook pages. Hunk also had some new pictures of surfing (something that he missed a lot).

Lance was still having some troubles with the whole Dante mess (Dante called him while drunk on New Year’s Eve. Apparently, his new fling didn’t work out and he wanted to get back with Lance). At least Lance was with his family and his friends were talking to him constantly, so he was getting better.

It was almost a shame when classes restarted at the end of January.

The first thing Lance did when they met on that Monday morning for their first marathon training together of the year (the first time they saw each other) after greeting Keith with a hug was let out a knowing smirk at Keith.

\- Not dating, huh?

Keith rolled his eyes but smirked too.

\- Oh, don’t start it.

Oddly enough, Lance’s expression became serious.

\- Just be careful, man. You don’t know who you’re dealing with.

Keith blinked.

\- Okay?

\- I’m serious.

Keith chuckled.

\- Lance, I talk with Shiro every day. I’m pretty sure I know him at least a little by now.

\- I don’t know, dude… I have a bad feeling about it.

\- Whatever you say, Obiwan.

Even if it was a Monday, the whole squad decided to celebrate that they were together again by eating pizza at Keith’s place. They were just talking with each other and laughing. It was great to be together again.

However, Lance still wasn’t over his new wariness of Shiro.

At some point, Shiro sent a few messages to him. It made Keith smile.

Pidge smirked.

\- Keith and Shiro under a tree K-I-S-S-

\- Oh, shut up! – he was beaming.

Hunk and Pidge laughed and Keith had a pleased smile on his face (he was considering if it would be a good thing to invite Shiro to talk with his friends. It sounded great).

Lance was the only one with a serious expression.

\- You are talking a lot with this guy, Keith.

Keith just shrugged.

\- Lance, he is my boyfriend. It’s only natural.

\- I know, but don’t you think that he might be fooling you?

Hunk was the one to roll his eyes.

\- Lance, knock it out, man. Just because you had a bad experience recently, doesn’t mean that Keith will.

Lance blushed with indignation.

\- I’m just being careful!

Hunk stared at him unimpressed.

\- Yeah, right. Just don’t be annoying.

Keith shrugged.

\- Nah, I think it’s fair. I was always being wary of Dante, so…

\- Há! See, Hunk? Just bros being bros.

Hunk shook his head.

\- It’s not the same thing. – Pidge said with a raised eyebrow – You were miserable many times while dating Dante. Keith has been only smiles since he met Shiro.

\- Smiling and really chill. – Hunk added nodding. He smiled at Keith – You look happy.

Keith smiled too.

\- Thanks! ... I guess.

Lance puffed.

\- I still think that there is something off about this guy.

Pidge rolled her eyes.

\- He just has to take care, and all will be fine.

The first weeks were, as always, easy. College was not so demanding (at least for now), the café had plenty customers, the marathon training was really showing nice results (even with the cold and snow), the squad was all back together and Shiro was a darling (as always). The snow seemed to be the only thing annoying or messy in Keith’s life (he HATED snow. The cold wasn’t that terrible, but snow was fucking annoying).

Keith was pleased and happy with how things were.

(He may or may not be making plans to meet Shiro in person that year. They were taking things slow, and Keith liked that, so maaaaaybe on Thanksgiving. There was no rush).

There was just one thing that didn’t seem to be fitting in Keith’s beautiful picture: Lance. Or Lance’s insistence that there was something wrong with his relationship with Shiro, to be more precise.

\- Man, the two of you have never met in person! This doesn’t sound like romance to me! – Lance said mid-February, the Monday before Valentine’s Day during their marathon training.

Keith groaned.

The first few times, it was kinda sweet that Lance was worried about him. Hunk and Pidge had been a little cautious too, even if they were really supportive. However, Lance was the only that was still holding that suspicion, even with Keith’s happiness.

\- Lance-

\- No, man, hear me out-

\- Lance, no! – Keith sighed – Look, dude, I’m happy with what Shiro and I have right now.

\- You didn’t even want to enter the dating site to begin with!

\- Yeah, and?

\- And now you’re ‘Mr.-Online-Dating-is-Awesome’!

Keith blushed.

\- Well! I changed my mind!

\- Yeah, but don’t you think that you are going a little bit too fast?

\- No. – Keith deadpanned – I don’t think so. Knock it off, Lance.

Shiro chose that moment to send his ‘Good morning from California’ photo of the day. Kuro was inside his dirty laundry bag, and she looked very pleased with herself.

Keith smiled softly. Oh, Shiro was sooooo dorky.

Lance looked over Keith’s shoulder at the picture. He frowned.

\- Why he doesn’t send pictures of his face?

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- It’s just not our thing, Lance.

Lance’s jaw dropped.

\- You NEVER even saw his face!?

Keith shrugged.

\- It was never a problem for us.

\- What the fuck, man!?

Keith groaned and tried to ignore Lance.

\- I really don’t get! – Keith complained to Shiro that night – Is he trying to go on some vendetta just because I insisted that Dante was an asshole?

\- _He is worried about you._ – Shiro sounded amused.

\- Is he really?

Shiro chuckled.

\- _Probably. You said so yourself once: one never knows who is on the other side._

Keith smiled.

\- You remember that?

\- _Of course I do, babe. I’m paying attention to you._

\- Heh. You are too sweet for your own good.

\- _Ahhh shucks! You are too gentle with me._

Keith chuckled.

\- I like to spoil my favourite boy.

\- _Ahhh… I’m blushing_. – Shiro laughed.

They fall into a comfortable silence.

Keith bit his lips.

\- Shouldn’t we…

Shiro waited patiently.

\- Shouldn’t we see each other?

He was met with silence.

\- I-I mean, - Keith swallowed hard – isn’t that what people in online relationship do?

Shiro was quiet for a long pause (another weird pause).

\- _I… I am happy with what we have now. I think that there is some beauty in this._

\- Beauty?

\- _Yeah. Call me old fashioned, but this longing, this extra time until the main event makes everything more… special._

Keith himself was silent. Then he smirked.

\- Foreplay with you must be torture.

Shiro guffawed.

\- _Well. Patience yield focus, isn’t it?_

Both laughed.

Except on that exact week, because of Valentine’s Day, Lance was relentless. On that Wednesday afternoon, 13th of February, he was impossible.

\- Man, he can be a CIA agent trying to incriminate you. He can be an asshole just pranking an unsuspecting gay man. He can be a perverted gross old man!

The squad was at Hunk’s house, as his guinea pigs for more delicious new food.

Everyone rolled their eyes.

\- Lance, let it go! – Hunk said with a sigh – All that is just speculation.

\- Of course Shiro is none of those things! – Keith said groaning – He is a great guy and a gentleman!

\- This is not fair! – Lance shouted – When I was with Dante, you all were being REALLY mean and unsupportive! How can you all be so chill about this guy?

\- Shiro so far has been good to Keith. – Pidge replied – Dante was treating you like shit most of the time!

\- But-

\- Dude! – Pidge was annoyed – Shiro is not the same as Dante!

Lance glared at them, especially at Keith.

\- Fine! If you are so certain about him being a great guy, why don’t you ask for his picture?

Keith blinked.

\- Why would I do that?

\- To prove me wrong.

\- Can’t you just take my word that is he nice?

\- Seeing is believing.

They stared at each other in challenge. None of them knew how to de-escalate the situation.

\- You know what? Fine! I’ll ask for a picture of him to shut you up!

He picked up his phone while Lance smirked and Hunk glared at him.

\- That is not cool, Lance!

\- If this Shiro is really all that great there is no harm to it!

Keith ignored the conversation and focused on his phone.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Hey, Shiro, are you there?**

The answer was almost immediate.

 

 **BlackLion:** **yeah baby**  
**BlackLion:** **:3**  
_RedFire:_ **So, Lance here is being a complete asshole and is saying that you are probably a perverted gross old man**  
**BlackLion:** **ouchie**  
**BlackLion:** **T^T**  
**BlackLion:** **that is mean!  
** _RedFire:_ **Yeah, so, to shut him up, can you send me a picture of you?**

As soon as he sent that message, he realized the situation he was in.

Keith was going to see Shiro’s face for the first time…

… and it would be only because of some stupid challenge.

He felt ashamed of himself.

That was not the romantic setting that he had imagined for this to happen.

It was just… SO lame!

Shiro didn’t answer immediately.

That was an oddly long pause.

Lance smirked even more.

\- He is probably looking for pictures of young male models to show to you.

Keith gritted his teeth.

\- Shut up, Lance.

\- Deep down you KNOW that I’m telling the truth, Keith. There was always something sketchy about him.

\- Lance, - Hunk said with a mild glare – there are plenty of other explanations to why it is taking him this long.

\- No, there is not! It was simple, he just needed to take his Facebook profile picture and send! We should do a reverse search on the picture that he sends, just to prove that.

\- And you call me paranoid! – Pidge complained – This is bullshit, Lance!

\- Call me whatever you want, but I bet that he either will send a fake picture or won’t send any picture at all.

Keith had just opened his mouth to argue against that when he received a new message from Shiro.

Three new messages to be more precise.

The first one indeed seemed like just a picture of a male model taking selfies on the mirror. He was tall and strong, with well-toned muscles. He was wearing dogtags and a military wife-beater, to show off his arms. His jaw was outstanding, very masculine and clean shaved. He was Asian with dark skin and black hair in an undercut. He had a killer smirk on his lips and a cocky stare in his eyes.

Just like a wet dream or a Calvin Klein underwear model.

Keith dreaded that opening the other pictures would only show that guy in other arrogant selfies and that if he indeed made a reverse search, he would only find a real model, not his Shiro.

However, the next picture threw all those doubts and insecurities through the window.

It was a picture of the same man in the same outfit, but this time he had a cat on his left arm while the right was taking the picture.

Kuro.

That was Kuro.

Keith had a full album of daily pictures of that cat to mistake her with any other long hair black cat.

That man, that modern Apollo god of beauty, was cooing at a cat in a picture. All the cockiness had vanished. He looked just like the adorable dork that Keith had been imagining all those months. He looked caring and loving, staring at the cat with tenderness.

The last picture was even cuter, maybe one of the cutest pictures Keith had ever seen with a full-grown muscle man.

Kuro had climbed on Shiro’s shoulders and was staring at herself on the mirror. This time, Shiro had chosen to use the frontal camera to take the picture, closer to his shoulders, neck and face. He had a big smile and his eyes shone with delight.

Oh, fuck… he was just… _gorgeous._

Also, hot.

Fuck.

Keith was completely lost.

Shiro sent a message after the pictures.

 

 **BlackLion:** **Sorry that it took me a while. I was trying to take a decent selfie.**

Keith’s friends had been looking at the pictures over his shoulder.

\- Now we do a reverse search on these. – Lance said, still with that annoying smirk.

Keith couldn’t help but let out a small smile.

\- There is no need. That is him. That is… Shiro.

\- How can you be so fucking sure?

\- Because that is his cat. That is Kuro.

\- He got a picture with some black cat. No big deal.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- No, you don’t get it! – he opened his images folder and showed all the pictures of Kuro that he had – I’ve seen this cat enough times already to know that it is her.

Pidge looked at the pictures and nodded.

\- Yeah, that looks like it.

Keith beamed.

\- That’s his cat, Kuro, and that _definitely_ is Shiro.

Hunk let out a low whistle.

\- Dude, he is hot.

\- I thought you were straight.

\- Yeah, I am, but I’m not blind! Look at him, Keith!

\- Damn… you lucky bastard. – Pidge said with a smirk.

Keith blushed but let out a goofy smile.

\- Thanks.

Lance glared at the pictures.

\- How is still day there on California if he took the pictures now? – he asked with narrowed eyes.

In fact, there was a few rays of sunshine coming from the window in the bathroom on the picture. However, Keith thought nothing of it (there was a two hour difference between Illinois and California. Maybe the sun had just not set there).

Pidge and Keith groaned in annoyance at the same time.

\- Lance, - Hunk massaged his forehead – let it go!

Keith and Shiro were silent through the whole evening.

Keith was still in awe with the pictures during the bus ride to home.

Damn… How could he be so lucky? A sweet and smart man with a smoking hot body and handsome face?

Damn.

Damn!

Keith just couldn’t stop looking at those pictures, especially the last one.

The soft smile on Shiro’s lips…

The dimples on his cheeks…

The way the sun illuminated his skin…

The shine in his eyes.

Like…

Damn!

His comparison with jazz and sunset never seemed truer.

When he got home, Red jumped on him, meowing and demanding to be petted.

Absent minded, Keith took her in his arms and sat on the couch.

Even if the reason why he sent those pictures was just because of Lance’s annoying nagging, Keith couldn’t be happier now that he was seeing his boyfriend.

Would Shiro be as happy as he was if he received a picture of Keith?

\- What do you think, kitten? Should I send him a picture of us?

Red purred, blinked and rubbed her head on his chin.

\- I’m gonna take this as a yes.

Feeling a little self-conscious, but giggly, Keith opened his camera and took a picture of him and Red. It wasn’t so bad, he liked the way his smile turned out.

He was a little nervous, but he sent the picture to Shiro.

Go big or go home, right?

 

 _RedFire:_ **Good Evening from Illinois!**

Keith laid there waiting for an answer biting his lips.

He didn’t need to wait for long. Shiro was calling him that exact moment.

\- _Wow…_

Keith bit his lips again.

\- Is that a good ‘wow’ or a bad ‘wow’?

\- _That was…_ \- Shiro hemmed – _a very good wow. I mean… wow! Just… wow! You are gorgeous!_

Keith blushed.

\- Ahh… You’re just being polite…

\- _No, I mean it! You are beautiful, Keith._

\- You are not bad yourself! I mean, holy fuck look at your arms!

There was a moment of silence on the other end of the call. An odd pause.

\- Shiro?

\- _I’m here._

His tone was tense. Then he hemmed and his voice relaxed again.

\- _But let’s talk about you. My God! You have such beautiful eyes!_

He spend most of the rest of their conversation saying again and again how handsome and beautiful he thought that Keith was. Keith had never been so praised in his whole life, especially not from such a gorgeous man. Some old flings had told him that he had a cute face, or that he was sexy. Shiro spent a lot of time just praising Keith’s eyes before moving to every other element of his face.

Keith would gladly let himself be spoiled rotten by all that pampering and praise.

In a weird way, he should thank Lance one more time.

If it wasn’t for his insistence for pictures, he wouldn’t get that or his Valentine’s Day “present”.

On that Friday morning, February 14th, right after his “Good-morning from California”, Shiro was already asking:

 

 **BlackLion:** **hey, Keith**  
**BlackLion:** **how do you feel about phone sex?**  
**BlackLion:** **:3**  
**BlackLion:** **I’m asking for a friend  
** **BlackLion:** ** >83c**

Keith choked on the water that he was drinking.

He was, once again, training for the marathon.

Lance raised his eyebrows.

\- Dude, are you ok?

Keith coughed a little before answering.

\- I’m fine.

Lance looked at Keith’s phone screen and narrowed his eyes.

\- So the perverted old man wants you to send him nudes.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- Shiro didn’t even ask for that!

\- Same thing!

\- No, there is a big difference.

\- I still don’t trust this guy.

\- Well, that is your problem, Lance.

Shiro sent more messages.

 

 **BlackLion:** **Keith?  
****BlackLion:** **o.o  
****BlackLion:** **I’m sorry if that was inappropriate  
****BlackLion:** **(** **>** **﹏** **<** **)  
****BlackLion:** **sorry  
****BlackLion:** **just forget that I even asked  
****BlackLion:** **(** **>** **﹏** **<** **)**

Keith chuckled.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Hey, it’s cool, Shiro.**  
_RedFire:_ **You just caught me by surprise  
** _RedFire:_ **(that and Lance is here and is still being a jackass).**

(- I’m not being a jackass!

\- Stop reading my messages!)

 

 _RedFire:_ **Can I answer later? Lance is being a nosy asshole.**

(- I am not!

\- Yes, you are!

\- Am not!

\- You are! Stop being nosy!)

 

 **BlackLion:** **ok**  
**BlackLion:** **o.o**  
_RedFire:_ **TTYL Dork** **(** **っ** **˘з** **(˘** **⌣** **˘ )**  
**BlackLion:** **Hey, I’m _your_ dork  
** **BlackLion:** ** <3 <3 <3**

Lance stared at Keith with horror.

\- Are you _really_ going to indulge that pervert?

Keith chuckled.

\- That, Lance, is none of your business.

Lance grimaced.

\- Gross!

Keith spent the whole morning lost in his thoughts.

The only down side that that could have would be if Shiro recorded his voice, but, honestly, that probably would be meaningless. Keith had duct tape on his laptop camera and he wasn’t going to send nudes. So it didn’t seem like a big down side at all.

The good thing was that, well, it was sex.

Sex with Shiro.

He felt giggly.

Ok, it was only phone sex, but it was sex nonetheless.

Keith answered during lunchtime.

 

 _RedFire:_ **About what you asked me earlier: I’m interested**  
_RedFire:_ **(*ΦωΦ*)  
** **BlackLion:** **:D**

The rest of the day, Keith waited eagerly until he got home. He was a little nervous, of course, but he was also excited.

And horny.

Mostly horny.

Keith made sure to buy more lube before getting home. He kept wondering if Shiro’s dick would be proportional to the rest of his body and the size of his hands.

(Damn… that would make him have a monster in his trousers. Keith was VERY interested).

He took a picture of Red chasing her favourite toy and sent it as his “Good Evening from Illinois” before sending an eager message.

 

 _RedFire:_ **is that proposition still standing?**  
**BlackLion:** **Eager, aren’t we?**  
**BlackLion:** **(*ΦωΦ*)**  
_RedFire:_ **Oh, stop being a fucking tease ò_ó**  
**BlackLion:** **xD**  
**BlackLion:** **ok**  
**BlackLion:** **why don’t you take a nice shower and get ready?**  
**BlackLion:** **;)**  
**BlackLion:** **I’ll make it worth the wait**  
**BlackLion:** ** <3**  
_RedFire:_ **cocky, aren’t we?**  
**BlackLion:** **I told you**  
**BlackLion:** **a Lion, not a cock  
** **BlackLion:** **xD**

Keith did as he was told before laying on his bed in only his underwear. His laptop was with him and he was wearing his headphones this time. (Also, he made sure to keep Red out of the room. It would be even more embarrassing if his crazy cat stared at him the whole time).

He was calling Shiro almost immediately.

\- _Hey, baby._

Keith felt himself blushing.

\- H-hey… - his voice was meek.

Now, on the actual moment of doing the deed, Keith felt self-conscious with himself, and ridiculous for being self-conscious (considering that Shiro wouldn’t even be seeing him).

Shiro seemed to notice his hesitation.

\- _Nervous?_

\- A little… I-I never did this before. I-I mean, the phone sex thing.

\- _It’s ok, baby. I haven’t either._ – he laughed nervously – _It just… sounded interesting? I don’t know…_

There was silence.

\- _Do you want to quit?_

Keith smiled.

\- Nah. I’m good.

- _Ok… but if you want to stop at any moment, just tell me ok? Tell me and we stop._

Keith beamed.

\- Ok… - he laughed nervously – I just don’t know what to do now.

Shiro laughed too.

\- _Yeah, me neither._

Another moment of silence. This time it was anxious and excited.

\- _How about_ – Shiro said with an amused and light tone – _you follow my lead for now? I promise that I’m really chatty during sex._

Keith chuckled.

\- I bet you are.

\- _Heh. So, I’ll go slow with you. Just follow my lead._

\- Yes, sir.

There was a pause.

\- Hum, Shiro?

\- _Yeah, I’m here. Just, hum, don’t call me “sir”, ok?_

\- Hum? Why not?

Shiro laughed guiltily.

\- _Because I’ll probably finish too early if you keep with it._

Keith smirked.

\- _Yes, sir._

Shiro laughed again.

\- _You little shit._

\- I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir.

\- _You’re lucky that you’re cute or I would really have to punish you._

Keith chuckled.

\- Maybe later, sir.

\- **_Definitely_** _. Now, get yourself comfortable…_

Keith realized that night that he was completely right when he had said that foreplay with Shiro would be a torture. He followed his boyfriend’s instructions as precisely as he could. That took him to the edge of climax at least three times, only to cool him down before Keith could actually reach his end. It was a little frustrating, Keith would be the first to admit. However, after the long teasing, the orgasm was intense. The whole time, Shiro was not shy to praise Keith in all the ways he could. Keith had no idea how Shiro knew about how he liked to be praised. Maybe it was something in his moans (he was embarrassed about it, but he was always a little more vocal when being praised), Keith didn’t know. The thing was, Shiro described all the ways he would use his hands to caress Keith’s skin and arouse him, how he would kiss him and where he would kiss. He even described how he thought Keith’s skin and hair would feel under his fingertips. It wasn’t the usual dirty talk, but there was something very erotic about the way Shiro did that. Even if Keith was the one that had to follow the commands, it was easy to close his eyes and imagine his boyfriend there doing all the things he was saying.

Keith was laying on his side and panting in the afterglow. He could hear Shiro’s own ragged breaths though his headphones.

\- Fuck. That was… - he took a deep breath – That was intense.

\- _Well, did you like it?_

Keith rolled and laid on his back like a pleased cat under sunlight. He knew that he should get a tissue to clean himself, but he preferred to enjoy the moment. He let out a goofy smile.

\- A little frustrating, but I have to admit that it was fucking great.

Shiro chuckled.

\- _Same here. Wow… you are really vocal, aren’t you?_

\- Oh, shut up. – Keith laughed hiding his blushing face with his hands – That’s embarrassing.

\- _Why? It was sexy._

Keith grunted.

\- Dork.

\- _At least I made you smile, didn’t I?_

Keith chuckled.

\- Yeah, you did.

They fell into a comfortable afterglow silence.

\- Shiro?

\- _Yes, baby?_

\- Can we do this again?

\- _Heh. You horny beast._

\- Oh, pretty please, sir.

There was another moment of silence.

\- _Ok, we can go again. But this time, can you call me something other than ‘sir’?_

\- Like what?

There was moment of hesitation.

\- _You can call me by my first name._

\- Hum? I thought Shiro was your first name.

\- _It’s a nickname, actually. From my surname._ – he sighed – _All my friends call me that, so it felt natural to tell that to you._

\- Why tell me your first name now?

\- _Because…_ \- Shiro hemmed – _Because I would love to hear it being said by you._

Keith blushed and smiled again.

\- So, what is your name?

- _It is…_ \- he hemmed again with nervousness – _It’s Takashi._

\- Takashi? – Keith felt giggly – It’s cute.

\- _Don’t mock me_.

\- I’m not! – Keith was still smiling – It suits you.

\- _Well, who is being the flatterer now?_

\- It takes one to know one.

Shiro laughed.

\- _I guess so._

There was another moment of silence.

\- Are you going to take the lead again, Takashi? – Keith asked gently.

Shiro chuckled.

\- _This sultry voice of yours saying my name will end me._

Keith giggled.

\- Come on, Takashi. – he sing-songed.

\- _Ok, babe, I’ll take care of you…_

Saying Shiro’s first name seemed to make him even more urgent and intense. Keith was really glad with it.

In the end, with both of them panting again in the second afterglow, Keith chuckled.

\- Happy Valentines, Takashi.

Shiro laughed.

\- _Happy Valentines, Keith. That was the best present ever._

\- Heh. Dork.

After that, phone sex was included in their routine. Just as natural as all the other things they had already been doing. In the beginning, it was still a little awkward and embarrassing, but they got used to each other. It was a good addition to their love life. That made Keith really curious to know how things would be when they finally met in person (he was still a little hesitant about bringing that up to Shiro, but he was planning to start to talk about visiting him in November after Midterms).

February turned into March and the snow FINALLY started to fade.

However, Keith had little time to enjoy the simple pleasures of spring.

Because March also meant Midterms.

\- Urgh. – Pidge groaned, laying her head on top of her book – Is it too late to give up and become a shepherd in Greenland?

The group of friends were reunited at Lance’s for a study night. Even if they had different Majors, there was a good feeling of shared suffering that helped everyone.

Shay chuckled.

\- You would get bored without Wi-Fi.

Pidge only groaned again.

\- Come on! – Keith said with a sigh – Fortify, soldier!

Hunk chuckled, raising his eyes from his notebook.

\- You are the last person that I would imagine calling someone a soldier, Keith.

Keith shrugged.

\- Shiro says that to me to motivate me. – he blushed – That or singing Disney songs.

Pidge raised her head with a smirk.

\- Your boyfriend really is a dork.

Hunk and Shay giggled.

Keith chuckled.

\- I guess he is.

Lance narrowed his eyes.

\- Why would he use the term “soldier”?

Keith shrugged.

\- I don’t really know. I’ll ask him later.

\- It’s weird.

Pidge groaned in annoyance, Keith sighed, Hunk massaged his forehead and even Shay rolled her eyes.

\- Lance…

\- No, hear me out! Normal people don’t talk like that! Normal people would say “man up” or something like that!

\- “Man up” is kinda misogynistic. – Shay pointed out.

\- Agreed. – Pidge added.

\- It doesn’t change the fact that unless he is a soldier or some other member of the military, he wouldn’t say that!

\- Lance, just because you are still hurt because of your last fucked up relationship, doesn’t fucking mean that all men in the world are assholes. – Keith said in a matter-of-fact way.

Lance groaned.

\- You are so stubborn! You are so freaking blinded by your infatuation that you aren’t seeing all the red flags on this guy! He’s probably a pervert or married with kids! Or both!

Keith stared at him unimpressed.

\- I’m not discussing this with you anymore.

\- Urgh, FINE! But don’t come to me later when everything crashes down!

It was annoying how Lance could hold such a grudge for so long.

Keith just ignored him.

After all, there was no reason to listen to that paranoid bullshit.

Right?

Midterms were getting closer and Keith was freaking out. He had stopped going to the gym for two weeks (one week before Midterms, that he already started to study in advance, and the week of the actual tests), and maybe that was taking a toll on his anxiety.

Keith’s body **craved** for movement, any kind of movement. Without it, Keith hated to admit, he would get even closer to a nervous breakdown.

On the Tuesday during Midterms week, he was so nervous that he wasn’t able to study. He was agitated and pacing. Red was staring at him from the couch. Whenever he tried to sit back, she would bring one of her toys to him and rub her head on his leg.

Shiro sent him a message at some point.

 

 **BlackLion:** **Hey!**  
**BlackLion:** **how is the studying going?  
** **BlackLion:** **:3**

Shiro was keeping tabs on Keith. Keith guessed that his boyfriend had already realized the train wreck that he would be when he was too anxious.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Can you talk right now?**  
_RedFire:_ **I think I’m losing it**  
**BlackLion:** **of course, babe**  
**BlackLion:** **o.o  
** **BlackLion:** **I’m calling you right now**

Keith picked up the call almost immediately.

\- _Hey, Keith, what’s up, baby?_

Keith groaned.

\- _Ouch. That bad?_

\- Worse. I just… - he grunted in frustration – I can’t concentrate! I feel like I have to move, but I can’t! I have to study! But I can’t concentrate and-

\- _Baby, baby, calm down. Let’s take a deep breath, ok._

Keith sighed.

\- Yeah, ok.

\- _Follow my lead, ok?_

Shiro made him take a few deep breaths slowly.

\- _You are doing great, babe. Go slow. There is no rush. Slowly._

\- Patience yield focus, right?

\- _That really stayed with you, didn’t it?_

\- You gave me some good advice.

\- _I’m glad that helps you, Keith._

\- Just for the record, you didn’t actually read that on a fortune cookie, right?

Shiro chuckled in amusement.

\- _No, I didn’t. It was something my grandfather used to say to me._

\- He seems like a great man.

\- _He was… And, you are stressed. That’s why you are anxious._

\- Duh. It is Midterms week. Of course I’m stressed!

\- _Yeah, but that is holding you back. How about we talk a little and just relax?_

\- But I have to study!

\- _And you are not getting anywhere while stressed. You need to relax a little in order to concentrate._

Keith sighed.

\- You’re right, Takashi.

\- _I’m glad that you agree, baby. So, how about we just talk a little? That might help._

Keith laid comfortably on his bed, playing with Red with the laser pointer and just talking about silly things with Shiro. Discussing the latest books they read and talking about Nasa’s latest pictures.

At some point, the subject shifted naturally to Disney movies.

Shiro laughed.

\- _No way that your favourite movie is the_ Lion King!

Keith smiled.

\- Yes, it is! I just really love it.

\- _I bet it’s because of the lions. Because lions are so freaking awesome!_

Keith laughed.

\- You are a big dork.

\- _A dork that made you smile_. – Shiro was beaming, and it was almost possible to hear it in his voice.

\- Don’t be so cocky about it.

\- _I made a cute boy smile! Of course I’m going to get cocky!_

Keith laughed again.

\- You BIG dork.

\- _But hey,_ Lion King _is my favourite too!_

\- No way!

\- _Yes, it is! I loved it since I was a kid! It has the best song EVER!_

\- Let me guess: you like the duet, _Can you feel the love tonight_?

Shiro laughed.

\- _No, but that is great too._

\- Then what is it?

\- _The Scar one,_ Be Prepared _._

\- Ooooh! That is good! Villain songs usually are the best!

\- _Yeah, but since you brought up_ Can you feel the love tonight _…_

\- Oh, no! – Keith laughed – Don’t you dare to put that song on for us to sing!

\- _Too late! You are singing Nala’s part._

Keith laughed.

\- As you wish.

Once again it was easy to do that, silly sing along with Shiro.

Hell, being with Shiro was easy.

Keith couldn’t be more delighted.

However, Keith had just sung the first lines of Nala’s part (“He's holding back, he's hiding”) when a woman’s voice on Shiro’s end interrupted their duet.

\- _Shiro? What is going on?_

Keith stopped singing immediately, blushing hard.

\- _Allura!_

\- _Who are you talking to?_ – her tone was amused.

Keith blinked.

\- Shiro, what’s happening?

Shiro didn’t hesitate.

\- _Keith, I have to go. My_ friend _doesn’t know the meaning of privacy. I’ll call you later._

\- Hum… Ok?

\- _Bye._

Keith stared at the screen with a raised eyebrow.

What was that all about?

Well, at least he had met Shiro’s friend, Allura. He didn’t mention his friends much. The few times he did, she was the only one mentioned.

Why would he not want Allura to talk to him? It would be a little embarrassing for Keith, since he had just been singing Disney songs, but that was not the worst-case scenario.

Also, what exactly was she to Shiro?

Did they live together? In that case, why hadn’t he mentioned that?

Did she have the key to Shiro’s house? In that case, why? Why would she have that key?

“I told you so.” Lance’s voice said in his mind.

Keith shook his head.

That was paranoid bullshit. He just needed to ask Shiro and he probably would answer honestly. Thus, Keith waited as patiently as he could for his boyfriend to call him back.

Shiro called fifteen minutes later.

\- _Sorry about that, baby. Allura **really** needs to learn that she can’t just_ _come in like that._

\- Ah… yeah.

\- _You ok there?_

Keith stared at the screen.

Go big or go home, right?

\- Does she… Does she know about us?

\- _Hum? Of course she does, baby!_

\- So, why were you so fast to end the call when she came in?

There was a new odd pause.

He sighed.

\- Shiro, please answer me.

\- _Ah, sorry, I spaced out._ – his tone was tense - _Also, sorry about that. Allura would start to tell a lot of embarrassing things, that’s all._

\- What exactly?

Shiro laughed nervously.

\- _Nothing, nothing._

\- Also, you never told me how you met Allura.

\- _Hey, what’s with the interrogation?_ – Shiro laughed nervously again.

Keith stared at the screen of his laptop with narrowed eyes.

\- _Keith?_

\- I was just wondering about it. You never talk much about yourself.

\- _What are you talking about?_ – again with that nervous laugh – _I talk a lot about me!_

Keith just kept staring at the screen.

His mind was in the middle of a conflict and he couldn’t put his finger on what it was. Something wasn’t right on all that. Some information was misplaced and he felt as if he had lost a piece of a 1000 piece puzzle. What was that he was not seeing?

He needed to think.

Alone.

\- Shiro, I gotta go. I still have a few chapters to read for tomorrow.

\- _Hum? Are you sure, babe? You still sound tense._

\- I’m fine. Just anxious about the test. That’s all.

\- _Ok then… we talk tomorrow?_

Even with that confusion in his mind, Keith couldn’t stop the small spark of warmth that ignited on his heart.

\- Yeah. We’ll talk tomorrow.

\- _Promise?_

Keith couldn’t help but smile.

\- I promise.

\- _Then, Goodnight, baby._

\- Goodnight, Takashi.

Keith ended the call and closed his laptop.

He laid on his bed for a long time.

He would be the first person to admit that he was not good at social situations of any kind. He didn’t know how to read people and he lost a lot of social clues in more than one occasion.

What was he missing from his relationship with Shiro?

What was he not seeing?

His own words resonated inside his head.

“You never talk much about yourself.” he had said to his boyfriend.

Was it in fact correct or was he over exaggerating?

Well, of course he knew things about Shiro!

Shiro’s favourite colour was black, he liked reading fantasy or sci-fi books, he was a big fan of rock, he had a great love for learning about stars and space, his favourite food was mac n’ cheese, he was allergic to dogs and he was a sweet dork.

Keith knew all that and more about Shiro.

He KNEW Shiro.

So why was he so confused?

What was he not seeing?

Sleep didn’t bring any magical answer when he woke up the next day.

What the fuck was he not seeing!?

Lance sent him a message early that morning.

  

> **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **Hey Keith  
>  ** **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **I won’t go to train today**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:** **hum? Why not? Is everything ok?**
> 
> **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **We are in the middle of Midterms week  
>  ** **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **NOTHING is ok**

Keith rolled his eyes at the dramatic messages.

  

> **K.Kogane:** **Ok then  
>  ** **K.Kogane:** **See you later?**
> 
>  
> 
> **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **yeah, see ya!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:** **And good luck on your test! d(^o^)b**
> 
>  
> 
> **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **Thanks, man!**

At least running alone allowed Keith to run faster.

As always, running in silence helped clear his mind.

There was indeed information that he didn’t have. He knew a lot about Shiro, but there were things, fundamental things, that weren’t revealed.

His phone pinged.

A new message on the _findyourpaladin_ app.

A picture of Kuro with the same blue sports headband on top of an old treadmill.

 

 **BlackLion:** **Good Morning from California B)**  
**BlackLion:** **Kuro wanted to cheer you up**  
**BlackLion:** **:D**  
**BlackLion:** **also  
** **BlackLion:** **tell Lance that I said ‘hi’**

Maybe it was the running.

Maybe it was because he was asking the right questions.

Or maybe Lance’s nagging FINALLY made sense.

The thing was, he had just found the missing piece.

Keith had to sit on the bench nearby and stare at the last message that Shiro had sent.

“Tell Lance that I said ‘hi’”.

It was so simple, and yet was a huge thing.

Shiro knew about every aspect of Keith’s life. He knew what he liked and disliked, who his friends were, what Keith did when he’d hang out with said friends, where Keith used to hang out, what he was majoring in, and many other details of Keith’s daily life.

On the other hand, what did Keith know about Shiro’s daily life?

There was a huge blank on that information.

Keith didn’t know what Shiro’s work was.

Keith didn’t know where Shiro liked to hang out.

Keith didn’t know who Shiro’s friends were. He mentioned Allura a few times, but he never gave any details. So Keith didn’t know what the hell Allura’s relationship with Shiro was.

He knew about his tastes, but what about everything else?

Who the fuck was the man that Keith was talking to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##  **LINK FOR THE ART OF THIS CHAPTER[[HERE]](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/post/164276713964/catfish-sheith-read-on-ao3-chapter-3-of)**
> 
> Making off of this chapter
> 
> Troubles in paradise ahead! 8D  
> Lance was kinda right, you know. The problem was that his worry was motivated by a little bit of envy, that was why was so easy to overlook it. I mean, he IS worried about Keith, but a part of his motivation is still envy for seeing Keith's relationship work perfectly, especially because Keith wasn't looking for romance while Lance was. 
> 
> Ahem!  
> Anyway, I hope people are not too mad that I changed Lance's nacionality a bit o.o   
> As I said on the opening notes, I did that for political reasons. The Canon VLD is set in the future, after all the nations reached peace, including USA and Cuba, hence, the ban that the USA has now on Cuba was lifted. However, **Catfish** is set on present time, when the ban is still active. Therefore, it would be kinda unrealistic to have him coming and going as he please from Cuba to the USA.   
>  I mean, I still kept as much as his Cuban background as I can, and as far as I know, Florida has a significant Cuban comunity. Please, correct me if I'm mistaken. I'm not American, so I don't have means to know for sure. 
> 
> I hope you have liked the romance <3  
> I decided to keep this one mild on the sex department because that is not the focus here, but their sweet relationship and what is off with Shiro.   
> So let's keep it PG hahaha xD
> 
> I think this is all for today folks =3
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked!
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to find me! (I'm kinda awkward, but yeah...).  
> [@wonderland-s-angel](http://wonderland-s-angel.tumblr.com/). I swear that I don't bite, I'm just a dork with a pink blog.  
> I'm having some problems with the tagging system on tumblr, so just talk to me if you want to call my attention.
> 
> Comments help me to get going, you know. Like, SERIOUSLY, they keep me going. I feed on them and I'm always hungry.
> 
> I hope I’ll see ya next week!
> 
> Bye-bye! o/


	4. In your Pocket

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if fully betaed, but there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THINKING OR TALKING INSIDE ONE'S HEAD
> 
> The text with blockquotes are the cellphone messages. Others are chat messages.
> 
> Now, to the story!

Keith used the Midterms as an excuse to speak less with Shiro that week. However, he knew that he couldn’t just use that excuse forever.

It didn’t help at all that there was another small earthquake on Thursday, and Shiro acted as if it never happened. Keith asked him about it and Shiro’s voice became tense. He changed subject with a joke, but it stayed on Keith’s mind.

Having too much free time during Spring Break was no help at all. It only made Keith’s mind more restless about the issue.

Keith trained as if the marathon would be next week and not only in October. Also, he did something that he usually didn’t like doing, that was training with headphones and loud music. He didn’t like loud sounds, it made it difficult for him to think. That and having to run made him turn into a mindless zombie whose only objective was to keep running.

Anything to not think about what secret had Shiro been hiding.

Even with that effort, Keith started to revisit his memories, trying to find every single moment in which Shiro had tensed and when he had spaced out or made an odd pause.

There were far too many moments.

He would be glad to let the matter go, since he was aware that relying only on memories was not the best approach, since he could be wrong or may not be remembering things correctly. However, there was also their whole message history…

Keith postponed looking at that all he could.

He was desperate to hold into his illusion of a perfect guy for a little longer.

\- _You have been quite distant this past week._ – Shiro complained on Thursday during Spring Break – _Has something been bothering you, babe?_

Even if he wanted to stay wary, even if he wanted to doubt, Keith couldn’t help himself but melt a little listening Shiro call him by that pet name.

\- I’m fine, just tired.

\- _I can imagine_. _You have been training too hard this week._

Keith frowned.

\- How do you know that?

Shiro chuckled good-humoured.

\- _You told me, Keith._

\- …did I?

Now Shiro laughed.

\- _Yep! Whenever I send you a message you say that you’re training. You shouldn’t wear yourself out baby. That is my job._

Keith laughed nervously.

\- Yeah… I’ll try to remember that.

\- _Speaking of which…_ \- Shiro said slowly – _Are you up for… A good ol’ fashion roll in the hay?_

He tried to make a cowboy accent on the sentence, probably wanting to make a joke. Keith, however, couldn’t be less interested.

\- I’m sorry, Shiro. I’m not in the mood.

Since Keith reached the conclusion that he didn’t know Shiro as much as he thought, the idea of phone sex with him seemed… wrong. It was a weird feeling, a feeling that he had been fooled and used. No different than if he had just picked a random guy in a bar (exactly the feeling he was trying to avoid by the online dating).

\- _Hey, no need to sound so gloomy._ – Shiro said gently – _It’s ok. I want you to feel comfortable._

\- And your idea to make me comfortable is to have sex? – Keith couldn’t help but asked in a mix of amusement and wariness.

Shiro only picked up the amusement part.

\- _Well, sex is a way of relaxing. And you sound tense, babe._ – he giggled.

Keith snorted.

\- Dork.

\- _I made you smile, didn’t I?_

Keith looked down, the small smile on his face falling.

\- Hum, I gotta go.

\- _What? Already?_ – Shiro whined.

\- I’m tired… I think I’m going to sleep.

\- _Ahh… Stay a little bit longer. Please, Keith?_

He took a deep breath.

\- I’m sorry. I am really tired.

Shiro whined a little before sighing.

\- _So, see you tomorrow?_

Keith gulped.

\- Yeah…

\- _Promise?_

Shiro’s tone was affectionate and soft.

Even with his doubts and insecurities, Keith couldn’t help but smile.

\- Promise. Goodnight, Takashi.

\- _Goodnight, baby._

Keith knew that he needed to do something. He also knew that he wasn’t well versed enough on social situations to find a solution on his own.

He needed to talk with someone, but who?

Lance would probably spend half an hour just rubbing the fact that he was right in Keith’s face. Keith REALLY didn’t need that at the moment.

Pidge would probably try to hack into Shiro’s computer, and that was kinda… too much.

Keith sighed and picked up his phone.

   

> **K.Kogane:** **hey, Hunk. Are you free tomorrow?**

That was how he ended up having lunch with Hunk at Shay’s grandmother’s restaurant.

Hunk was a reliable and chill guy. Unless Keith had been doing something really stupid, Hunk wouldn’t get angry or mock him. Even if he was doing something stupid, Hunk would say something sarcastic and then he would try to help anyway.

Shay was helping her family with the restaurant while the two boys talked (Hunk worked there as a kitchen assistant and was on his break).

Keith awkwardly explained his situation to Hunk.

He finished with a sigh and slouched on his seat.

\- I don’t know what to do.

Hunk shrugged.

\- Honestly, Keith, I think that there is a simple solution.

Keith blinked.

\- Huh? How? It seems complicated to me.

\- Well… it is simple, but most people still don’t think about it.

\- What is it then?

Hunk smiled.

\- Talk to Shiro.

\- Huh… I tried to, but he asked me why I was interrogating him.

\- Maybe you caught him off guard. I don’t know, man. You can always try again with more patience. You were stressed when you asked him the first time, right?

Keith widened his eyes in surprise.

\- Yeah, I was! That makes sense!

Hunk chuckled.

\- He’s probably more reserved about his life. And maybe this Allura is his sister or just a roommate. – he frowned – Don’t let Lance’s paranoia and envy get into your head, man. You’ve been super relaxed and happy since meeting Shiro. I doubt that he is actually hiding something.

Keith smiled.

\- You are probably right. Thanks, dude. – he chuckled – I’m really bad at this romance thing.

Hunk laughed.

\- Don’t worry, bro. Everyone is kinda bad at this romance thing in some way. Communication usually is the answer for most problems, though.

Shay passed near them and touched Hunk’s shoulder. He smiled, held her hand and kissed it. She chuckled.

\- Communication is the answer, but some people talk a little bit too much sometimes.

Hunk blushed.

\- That’s unfair! That was only one time!

She laughed and kissed his cheek.

That night, Keith was determined (and even excited) to talk with Shiro.

He was positive that his boyfriend would explain everything to him if he asked!

Well, he couldn’t be more wrong.

\- Hey, Shiro. – Keith started with a smile – Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?

\- _Shoot, babe! I’m an open book!_

\- How did you and Allura meet?

There was a very long pause, a very odd one.

\- Shiro?

\- _I’m here. Why… Why do you want to know that?_

Keith shrugged.

\- To know more about you, Takashi. Besides, the other day when she showed up I got really curious.

Another long pause.

Keith sighed.

\- Shiro, are you there?

It took a few instants for Shiro to answer.

\- _I’m here._ – he took a deep breath – _Can we… Can we talk about something else?_

\- Why?

\- _Just… please, Keith_.

Keith frowned.

\- Ok, fine. But I get to ask you another question then.

Shiro snorted, some of the tension leaving his voice.

\- _Whatever you want to know, babe_.

\- Where do you work?

The tension built up again in the conversation with another weird pause.

Keith groaned.

\- Shiro-

\- _I’m here, I’m here_. – he took another deep breath – _What makes you think that I’m not a student?_

\- Ok, then, which college do you go?

Shiro didn’t answer.

\- Shiro, you know which college I go to and you know what my Major and Minors are. You also know where I work and probably even know my co-workers’ names. I want to know more about you too.

\- _Can we not talk about work or college? Please?_

Keith narrowed his eyes.

\- Fine. Where do you like to hang out with your friends? I’m sure that Santa Monica’s pier is not the only nice place on South California.

Silence.

Keith really wanted to keep being patient.

He really did.

However, he couldn’t help but feel frustrated.

\- Shiro, do you have any idea of how weird it is that you never talk with me about your life?

\- _Hey! I talk a lot about my life with you!_

\- So why do I feel like I don’t know nothing about what you do, who your friends are, your routine and so on?

\- _Because that doesn’t matter!_ – Shiro took a deep breath – _Keith, you know me! I’m your dork!_

“Do I really know you?” Keith couldn’t help but think.

\- What are you hiding from me? – he asked slowly in a low tone.

\- _Nothing, babe!_

\- So why have you kept me out of your daily life?

\- _Keith, we talk every freaking day! You **are** part of my routine!_

\- Then what about all the rest!? Who are you outside of our conversations!?

Shiro made a brief pause before taking another breath.

\- _Ok, why don’t we both take a deep breath and try to calm down. This subject is not taking us anywhere._

\- Oh, how typical. – Keith couldn’t help but blurt out with anger – Trying to change the subject when you don’t want to tell the truth.

\- _What the heck you are talking about?_

\- You ALWAYS do that! You always avoid anything related to you!

\- _That is not true, Keith!_

\- So tell me something about your daily life! Anything about your routine! Anything at all!

More silence.

\- You know what? Goodnight Shiro.

\- _Keith, wai-_

But Keith had already ended the call.

He was angry. With Shiro and with himself.

Keith wished he could go out to burn some energy running, but it was already night. The only thing he could do was scream with his face in his pillow. Red watched and meowed sympathetically.

Shiro was silent until next morning.

It was Friday of Spring Break. Keith was training alone in the mornings and with Lance in the afternoons after work.

This time he didn’t put on his headphones.

He needed to burn the extra energy and anger, but he also needed to think about his conversation with Shiro.

It was obvious that Shiro was holding back and hiding something. He was purposely keeping Keith out of a part of his life. Scratch that: Shiro was keeping Keith out of most of his life.

Almost as if Keith was just some kind of affair, someone to just fool around with.

Was that it?

No, it couldn’t be.

Shiro had been so sweet and loveable!

That couldn’t have been just an act.

Right?

As if by magic to pacify his inner turmoil, Shiro sent him the traditional good morning message.

It had a little sweet twist this time.

It was four pictures of Black with four different notes.

“I’m sorry that my owner is an idiot”

“He didn’t meant to”

“Shiro loves you, baby”

“#He is looking at Keith”

Keith couldn’t help himself but smile for a brief moment

 

 **BlackLion:** **Good-morning from Cali  
** **BlackLion:** **are you still angry?**

He wanted to keep what they had.

Keith was happy before.

However, his suspicions were still there.

 

 _RedFire:_ **I’m not angry**  
_RedFire:_ **I’m frustrated**  
**BlackLion:** **sorry…**  
_RedFire:_ **I feel like I know nothing about you!**  
_RedFire:_ **Like I’m just some kind of dirty secret you keep from others**  
**BlackLion:** **Keith that is not true!**  
**BlackLion:** **you are an important part of my life!**  
_RedFire:_ **So why do you keep me in the dark?**  
_RedFire:_ **I know all the books you read in the last six months but I don’t even know all the names of your friends!  
** _RedFire:_ **I barely even knew Allura existed, and you probably could make a whole essay on my friends’ routine!**

It took several minutes for Shiro to answer. He typed for a long time, but his answer was brief, as if he had written and re-written it many times.

 

 **BlackLion:** **I really want to tell you, Keith**  
**BlackLion:** **I really do**  
**BlackLion:** **But it is complicated…  
** _RedFire:_ **What the fuck can be complicated about your daily routine!?**

Another pause.

 

 **BlackLion:** **I’m sorry…**  
**BlackLion:** **if I promise to explain everything to you one day, would you wait?**  
**BlackLion:** **please**  
**BlackLion:** **it is complicated**  
**BlackLion:** **but I want you in my life, Keith**  
**BlackLion:** **you are the best thing that’s happened to me in a long time  
** **BlackLion:** **please?**

Keith drank his water pondering about it.

 

 _RedFire:_ **You won’t answer anything right now, will you?  
****BlackLion:** **I promise that I’ll answer in the future.**

Somehow, Keith couldn’t tell exactly why, but he felt that that was a lie.

 

 _RedFire:_ **When in the future?**  
**BlackLion:** **I don’t know…**  
**BlackLion:** **I have to figure out some things first**  
**BlackLion:** **but I swear that I’ll tell you.**  
**BlackLion:** **I don’t want to lose you  
** **BlackLion:** **please?**

Maybe he was in fact getting as paranoid as Lance.

Maybe he should give Shiro the benefit of the doubt.

He still liked Takashi a lot.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Ok**  
_RedFire:_ **I’ll wait**  
_RedFire:_ **for now**  
_RedFire:_ **but you will have to explain everything, like you said.**  
_RedFire:_ **you will explain why you’re keeping me in the dark and you will explain what took you so long to share your daily life with me**  
**BlackLion:** **I will.  
** **BlackLion:** **I promise.**

Then, Shiro changed the subject asking him about his training.

Keith played along, and soon they were already starting to send little emojis to each other.

However, the doubt was still with Keith.

He tried to let the matter go. He really did. The problem was that the doubt would keep plaguing his mind, no matter how much talking with Shiro was still fun and relaxing.

Keith ignored the doubts, trying to push them away.

It worked for about a week.

On the next Thursday, the squad got online together for their traditional Overwatch night. Keith was the second to log on, right after Hunk.

\- _Hey, man!_ – Hunk greeted him – _How are you doing?_

\- Hey, Hunk. I’m ok…

\- _I haven’t seen you since last week!_

\- Things have been a little bit hectic after Spring Break.

\- _Tell me about it! I had a professor giving us a brand new essay to do right on the first day! Between crazy professors and classes, I barely had any time to spend with Shay, and we work together, man!_

\- That is tough, dude. I’m sure she understands.

\- _Yeah, her professors are just as insane, so…_ _Speaking of significant others, how are things with you and Shiro?_

Keith hesitated.

\- They are… good, I guess…

\- _You talked with him?_

\- Yeah, I did. But he didn’t answer me.

\- _Huh? What do you mean? Did he refuse to answer?_

\- He… yeah, he refused. Shiro kinda tried to change the subject and I got angry. – Keith sighed – He always does that.

\- _But did he explain why?_

\- No. He just said that he wanted to tell me what he was hiding and why he was hiding it…

\- _But…?_

Keith grumbled.

\- But he asked me to wait.

\- _For what?_

\- I don’t know. He didn’t tell me.

On that moment, Lance entered the chat. Pidge followed soon after that.

Hunk had the sensibility of sending a text message to Keith instead of continuing to talk about the subject.

  

> **Hunk:** **Do you want to continue the conversation later?**

Keith sighed.

  

> **K.Kogane:** **yeah, I guess so…**

On that Saturday, Hunk would try new recipes and he would invite all of them to taste the new dishes. Keith got there first, so they could talk.

\- So Shiro didn’t explain anything else? – Hunk asked after Keith finished making a summary of the things that happened last week and the subsequent text exchange.

Keith shrugged and sighed.

\- Oh, man… - Hunk groaned – This is bad. I thought your guy was one of the good guys!

\- He is still good. He is always nice and open.

\- But Keith, he is still hiding his life from you. Knowing his tastes and what book he is reading doesn’t change the fact that he can be a serial killer or something.

\- Erm, don’t you think that “serial killer” is a little too dramatic?

\- Dude, better safe than sorry.

Keith groaned.

\- I can’t believe that Lance was actually right on this one.

From the outside, they heard Lance shouting.

\- I heard my name being used inside. – he laughed.

\- Probably to say how much of a terrible McCree you are. – Pidge, who was outside with Lance, answered.

\- Shush, smol bean! Lord Lance is the best!

She was rolling her eyes when Keith opened the door.

\- Only you would call yourself “Lord Lance”.

He ignored her in favour to look at Keith with a quirked eyebrow.

\- What were the two of you talking about? I could hear my name and the word “right”, so I like the way that conversation was going.

Keith tried to suppress a blush and he rolled his eyes.

\- I was telling Hunk that you can’t hit even one shot right. Seriously, why do you even play as McCree?

\- Há! Told ya! – Pidge grinned.

Lance narrowed his eyes and smirked.

\- You’re lying, aren’t you Keith?

This time, Keith blushed indeed.

Hunk chose that moment to intervene.

\- Food is ready!

Lance waited until they were all sat around the table to pick up the subject again.

\- About the thing that I was right about…

They all groaned.

\- Lance, drop it. – Hunk rolled his eyes.

\- Nope! Now I’m curious and I want to know what you two were talking about. And thanks to Keith’s fair skin, it will be easy to know if you are lying!

Keith blushed, almost as if to prove Lance right.

\- Lance, it was a private conversation. – he said annoyed.

\- A conversation that quoted my name, so I want to know what it was about.

\- Just knock it off, Lance.

\- Nooooope!

Again, as if on cue, Shiro sent Keith a new message. He had been a little more active these days, as if trying to compensate for their fight last week. Instead of making Keith smile, most of these messages were making him have even more doubts about his boyfriend’s motivation.

Obviously, Lance noticed his hesitation with the new message. He grinned.

\- Oooh… I get it. Troubles in paradise. I hate to say this, but told ya!

\- For fuck’s sake, Lance! – Pidge rolled her eyes – Being happy because a friend is having relationship troubles? That’s low even for you!

\- Hey! I told him from the beginning of their relationship that I didn’t like this Shiro!

\- Yeah, but you only did that because you were and still are hurt because of the whole Dante thing!

\- That’s beside the point.

\- No it is not. – she frowned – You’re set on believing that everyone will have bad relationships, when it is not the case.

\- I was right, wasn’t I? – he turned to Keith – Right, mullet boy?

Keith looked down.

\- It’s complicated, man. – Hunk answered for him – And he doesn’t need your mockery right now.

\- I won’t make fun of you. Cross my heart. – Lance said making an X on his chest with his fingers.

\- Yeah, right. – Keith answered with sarcasm.

\- No, really man. I won’t. Maybe we can find a solution if you have more opinions outside the relationship.

\- That… That is actually a valid idea! – Pidge was surprised – Holy shit, Lance! Since when were you good at giving love advice?

Lance grinned.

\- I know, I’m the best. – he turned to Keith with a more friendly expression – We can help, if you want.

Keith sighed.

\- You’re already going to gloat about it anyway, so I guess I have to share this now.

He told the whole situation again, how it started (with Allura’s intrusion) and how it developed (with their fight and Shiro’s subsequent promise).

\- I know that he said that he will tell me and I want to trust him but… - he sighed – I can’t help but feel like Shiro is lying to me to hide something.

\- Do you have any idea of what it could be? – Lance asked – Because I have a very vivid imagination, but I think you are the best one to know what direction to go.

\- I have no idea.

\- And why do you even think he has ever lied to you? – Pidge asked adjusting her glasses – He could be not telling you about his day, but maybe he hasn’t actually lied.

\- Omission is still a lie. – Hunk answered frowning.

\- It is only a lie if it is hiding sensitive information.

\- And in this case what do you think it is?

\- Well, yeah. Shiro is hiding some important information, but I guess it’s not some big fancy secret.

\- Guys, this doesn’t change the fact that he lied to Keith. – Lance added.

\- I don’t know if he even lied. – Keith blushed – It is just an impression that I have now with the text messages. During the calls, he just hesitated. I don’t even know if I’m just imagining things or if there is some real flaw in his explanations.

The friends sat in silence for a few moments.

\- Maybe… - Pidge said – Maybe he had written things in a different way?

They all stared at her.

\- What do you mean? – Keith asked.

\- You see, in real life conversations, people usually change a little bit in the way they speak when they are lying or they will have some body language that will give away that they are lying. Maybe Shiro has been giving something away when typing and not even he noticed.

\- If that’s so, then I really didn’t notice.

\- That’s ok, Keith. It could probably be something very subtle. Or it might not even be there. I’m just trying to find a reason why you would suspect the text.

\- Maybe you need a third party to take a look at the conversations to tell if there is a change or not! – Lance suggested.

The other three looked at him unimpressed.

\- You just want to read their messages, don’t you? – Hunk asked rolling his eyes.

\- O-of course not! – although he was denying, Lance was blushing.

\- And here we have a perfect example of a person lying. – Pidge let out a shit-eating grin pointing to Lance.

\- Shut up, gremlin!

That night, after two weeks since the beginning of his doubt, Keith finally decided to go back and revisit all his and Shiro’s conversations.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe there was nothing in the way Shiro wrote and Keith was just being paranoid. Maybe he was just seeing way too much.

He hoped that that was the case.

Keith didn’t know what he would do if he found out that Shiro had been lying.

Since it was a Saturday night and he had nothing better to do, he started to analyse all the past conversations. He went backwards, so he would see the conversations he remembered most first.

Right in the middle of his work, Shiro asked if he was up for their daily call. Keith kept the conversation brief, still worried about the possible lies Shiro had been telling him.

\- _You seems tense, baby_. – Shiro commented with a soft voice.

\- Do I? – Keith felt himself becoming pale, thinking that maybe Takashi had caught on his doubts.

\- _Is everything all right?_

\- Yeah… I’m just… tired. Sorry, Takashi.

\- _That is ok, Keith._ – Shiro’s tone was light and gentle - _Maybe you should go to bed earlier, so you can rest._

\- Yeah… You are probably right…

\- _Talk to you tomorrow?_

\- …yeah…

_\- You don’t seems so sure. What’s wrong, babe?_

\- Nothing, I’m just really tired. I’ll go now. Goodnight.

\- _Huh? Oh, ok. Goodnight._

Keith didn’t go to sleep, though.

He was determined to look at all their past conversations just to prove to himself that there was no lying pattern. He was desperately trying to believe that Shiro had been always honest.

He was almost getting to the end of the conversation history. So far, there was nothing that he could notice.

Keith was almost dropping the subject, convinced that Shiro had in fact always told him the truth, when he stumbled upon a conversation that they had about one month after meeting for the first time.

 

 **BlackLion:** **serious now,**  
**BlackLion:** **I don’t exclude the possibility**  
**BlackLion:** **:)**  
**BlackLion:** **you’re a nice guy**  
**BlackLion:** **even if you’re a meanie sometimes**  
**BlackLion:** **xP  
** **BlackLion:** **but I have no big expectations.**

That was the conversation that they had when Keith asked if Shiro was interested on him romantically, right after his friends had suggested that Shiro might be considering if he was “boyfriend material” of not. There something wrong about that statement, but Keith couldn’t put a finger on what it was.

He stared at the last sentence, the “but I have no big expectations” for a while. Keith couldn’t help but also remember the day they confessed, two months later.

On that day on December, Keith had said that he had liked Shiro for a while and Shiro had said that he also had liked Keith for some time. Keith couldn’t remember the right words, but Shiro had apologized for having lied when he said he didn’t have big expectations, because he hoped Keith would also fall in love with him.

Keith stared at the sentence until he remembered what Pidge had said earlier. _You see, in real life conversations, people usually change a little bit in the way they speak when they are lying or they will have some body language that will give away that they are lying. Maybe Shiro has been giving something away when typing and not even he noticed._ _It could be probably something very subtle._

As soon as he remembered it, the reason why that message from Shiro was bothering him so much became evident and clear as day.

That sentence had a full stop, a period.

Shiro NEVER used periods on his sentences. Exclamation points or question marks were ok, and maybe the occasional comma.

Never periods.

Yet, on that sentence, that one moment that he admitted months later that he had lied, that message had a period.

What other sentences had periods?

With that new information, Keith looked back to all the other conversations, looking for that small dot.

He lied about having friends over whenever Keith saw bottles of beer or something too messy on the good-morning messages.

He lied many times about being busy (and those moments were the same as many of his odd pauses).

He lied about not being a videogame type.

He lied about taking his time to take the selfies that he sent to Keith.

Keith opened the three pictures again, staring at them with brand new eyes.

Was that even Shiro?

Well, that definitely was Kuro in that man’s arms.

However, Lance had been right when he said that it was weird that it was still sunny in the pictures. Keith had memorized the time in California. He should have known that the sun had already set by the time Shiro had “took” those pictures. The sun was strong and bright through the bathroom window on the photos, making that whole thing a big lie.

Speaking of lying about nature, Shiro lied about being busy during both small earthquakes that happened in California since they have met. Not even a mention to the earthquake itself.

He also lied somehow whenever Keith mentioned being cold in Chicago. On that one, Shiro had already confessed to Keith that the coldness made him feel terrible, but he hadn’t told Keith why. Why had just the mention of the cold triggered a lie out of Shiro?

Hell, Shiro even lied about promising to tell Keith about why he was keeping him in the dark! Shiro put a point every time he promised that he would tell the truth!

Lastly, there was the pink elephant on the room.

Allura.

Who was she and what she was to Shiro?

He had mentioned that a friend of his might hire a private detective to investigate Keith’s life.

Was that Allura?

Shiro made sure that Keith wouldn’t talk with her when she entered the room when they were in the middle of a call.

Why?

What was she?

His boss?

His ex?

His… wife?

Fighting against tears and with Red rubbing herself over him and purring (to try to help him feel less distressed), Keith picked his phone up and opened the group chat with his friends.

   

> **K.Kogane:** **Can we meet up tomorrow?  
>  ** **K.Kogane:** **I could use a few drinks…**

Of course that Pidge was still up, even if it was really late already.

   

> **K.Holt:** **What happened?**

Keith sighed.

   

> **K.Kogane:** **it is Shiro.  
>  ** **K.Kogane:** **he lied to me**
> 
> **K.Holt:** **oh shit D8  
>  ** **K.Holt:** **I’m sorry Keith =(**

Keith let a few tears run down his face before he dried them.

He really had thought that he had met the perfect guy.

Now he had no idea who the person he was talking to was.

Hunk and Lance sent their sympathetic messages later when they woke up and they also agreed to meet up at their usual pub on that Sunday afternoon.

\- What should I do now? – Keith asked after telling them about his discovery of the night before – I still like him, but I don’t even know if I know him at all!

\- Man… That sucks… - Hunk said with sympathy.

\- How dare he do this to you!? – Pidge puffed with anger.

Keith sighed and turned to Lance.

\- It turns out that you were right about Shiro.

Lance, who surprisingly hadn’t said “I told you so” yet, had a serious expression.

\- Keith… I’m sorry man. I never wanted that to happen to you. – he sighed too – I shouldn’t have forced you to join any of those dating sites.

Keith just shrugged.

\- What now? – he asked timidly.

\- You can always break up with him. – Pidge said while drinking from her beer.

Hunk glared at her.

\- Pidge!

\- I’m just speaking the most obvious solution. – she shrugged and toyed with her long hair.

Keith sighed.

\- She is right…

\- So you ARE breaking up with Shiro?

He looked away.

\- I wish I could do that, but…

\- You still like him. – Hunk concluded softly.

Keith sighed again, feeling miserable.

\- Yeah… Am I… Am I an idiot for wanting all this to be just a misunderstanding?

\- Ahh, Keith…

Hunk hugged him. Keith sighed again.

Lance seemed to be pondering something.

That could only result in another stupid idea.

\- There is another solution. – he said slowly, confirming all the friends suspects of the new crazy plan – You can meet up with the man.

They all stared at him as if Lance had grown a second head.

He continued, unfazed.

\- You know, like the Catfish TV program. We search for the place where it is more likely for this Shiro to be, travel there and check it out. The worst-case scenario, we spend a few days at LA in summer, which is hardly a downside. But in the best-case scenario, if Shiro is who he claim he is, he just has something complicated going on in his life, then the two of you can have a cute first date on the beach.

He shrugged and blushed, as if noticing their stares for the first time.

\- I don’t know, it sounded like a good idea since you still like the dude!

\- That is… Actually a good idea! – Pidge said astonished – Holy shit, Lance! Since when were you such a genius?

\- I know, I’m the best. – he smirked for one second before going back to the focused mindset – But seriously now, it’s not even that ingenious. It is kinda obvious. If Keith wants to know if the dude he likes is who he says he is, all he will have to do is see for himself.

\- But, dude! How will you find Shiro in the middle of millions of people? – Hunk asked.

\- That’s actually easy! – Pidge was the one who answered – I can track his IP address. That will even help us to get an idea about whom we are dealing with.

\- But how you will find that person with only his IP?

She grinned.

\- IP addresses come with an actual address. Unless he is using a VPN or unless he is an ace on internet security, we can track him down and go from there.

\- Don’t you think that it’s kinda extreme to hack the guy? – Hunk asked looking to the three of them – I mean, Keith still likes him, and that is really invasive.

They all looked at Keith, as if waiting for his decision.

His stance with Shiro seemed like it wouldn’t change so soon. Not with Shiro going out of his way to keep Keith in the dark. It would be stupid to keep things the way they were.

He nodded.

\- Ok, that sounds like a good plan.

Hunk shook his head.

\- I have a bad feeling about it, man.

Pidge sighed.

\- Duly noted, Hunk. But since it is Keith who had the last say on this situation, we have to go on.

Keith nodded, even if he felt a little insecure.

\- So, what do we do now?

Even if they hadn’t talked in advanced, Lance and Pidge stared at each other, as if they were making a plan on the spot without using words.

\- I think it is for the best if we already book passages to LA right now. – Lance nodded – I think we might be able to go during summer.

\- In the meantime, - Pidge added – we can get all together to do some research on Shiro, hacking his account and all. I’ll need some information from you. Don’t worry, I won’t look at your private information.

Keith nodded.

\- Sounds like a plan. What do I do in the meantime?

Lance shrugged.

\- Try to act normal? I mean, you have to avoid suspicion. Keep your cool and act as if nothing is wrong while Pidge and I do this part.

Keith nodded again.

\- I think I can do this.

They were arranging the final details of their plan on the group chat when Lance sent him a private message.

   

> **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **Just for the record  
>  ** **It’s Lance, Bitch:** **I TOLD YOU SO!**

Keith rolled his eyes, but he couldn’t help but smile.

At least Lance had waited until they had come up with a solution to say that. Keith would have probably punched him if that was the first thing he had said.

It was only the beginning of April, but Lance already booked two tickets for him and for Keith at the beginning of July to LA. It was affordable for all of them. However, only Lance agreed to travel with Keith to California. Hunk didn’t want to participate and Pidge needed to take care of her dog (Rover was old and they had cancer. Pidge would be devastated if they died while she was away).

All Keith needed to do was to pretend that there was no strain on his relationship with Shiro.

Also, Keith planned to keep trying to push Shiro. To keep trying to give him opportunities to come forward and explain himself.

He liked Shiro.

No, scratch that.

He REALLY liked Takashi.

A lot.

Keith thought that he had never felt that way about any other lover before.

All that he wanted was that that entire situation was just a big misunderstanding, and not Shiro lying to him to keep him as a shameful affair.

For now, other than buying the tickets, the squad didn’t do much.

   

> **Hunk:** **it is best if you guys plan all this during summer vacations  
>  ** **Hunk:** **since all of us are going to stay in Chicago anyway**

Hunk had suggested on their chat

It seemed like a reasonable thing, since it wouldn’t interfere with their finals if they started after it.

To Keith, that April was a long month.

He wanted July to get there sooner, so he could just solve that situation.

Shiro…

Shiro was still a darling, he hated to admit. Keith lied and said that his extra tension was because he was worried about his grades. Shiro couldn’t be any more supportive.

\- _Hey, it’s ok, babe. I’m positive that you are going to be A ok!_

Keith couldn’t help but blush and smile.

\- Yeah… thanks Shiro.

The only thing that Keith couldn’t do was to keep up his sex activity with Shiro.

It just… It felt wrong.

He didn’t know who was on the other side, he didn’t know if that was just some weird kink to Shiro or if that was real desire. That made Keith feel dirty just by thinking about having phone sex with him again.

\- _Was it something that I did?_ – Shiro asked one night, on the week before finals week – _I mean, you were ok with that before_.

Keith looked at the screen.

He didn’t want to lie, but telling the truth could denounce how big his suspicions were.

\- _Keith, babe?_

Keith sighed. He opted for a half lie.

\- I’m sorry, Shiro. This semester is being really tough on college. I’m feeling too drained to do it.

\- _Sex relieves stress. Just saying_. – Shiro laughed at his own joke.

Keith couldn’t find the energy to even be amused, but an idea bloomed there. Another possibility for Shiro to prove that he wasn’t a complete farce.

\- Hum… - Keith pretended to think – Maybe we can spice things up a bit.

\- _Oh?_ – Shiro was amused – _What do you suggest, baby?_

\- How about we make a skype video call?

Shiro went silent.

\- Shiro?

Still no answer.

\- Shiro is everything ok?

A sigh.

\- _My…_ \- Shiro took a deep breath – _my webcam is broken._

Keith looked down.

A broken webcam. How convenient…

\- _But hey! We can try other things too, with only the voice sex_. – Shiro tried to lighten up the mood.

Keith couldn’t keep it up anymore that night.

\- Shiro, I’m kinda tired. I gotta go.

\- _Was it something that I said? You have been distant the last month_.

\- I told you, it is college.

\- _You sure? You can tell me anything_.

This time, Keith couldn’t hold his tongue.

\- How come I have to tell you everything about my life and you keep me away from yours?

 Shiro sucked a breath in surprise.

\- _Keith it’s not like that!_

\- Good night, Shiro.

He ended the call and held back tears.

Why were they falling apart like that?

Keith just wanted to be able to trust Shiro without feeling as if he was being played.

Was that too much to ask?

Red, always reliable, felt his distress and sat on his lap purring, trying to console her human.

Finals were the perfect excuse not to talk with Shiro for a few days. Shiro would still send Keith encouragement messages, being as supportive as he could. However, Keith couldn’t help but feel like they were growing apart even more as the days went by.

May came and the finals were over.

The squad had planned to meet up on Tuesday at Pidge’s home to further plan what they would do.

Pidge was grinning when Keith got there.

\- Glad you could join us, Romeo. We are all ready to start.

Keith swallowed.

This was really happening wasn’t it?

This was the point of no return.

He hoped that things would turn out good.

After greeting Pidge’s parents, they went to her domain in the basement. Hunk and Lance were already waiting.

\- I just have to say that this is a terrible idea! – Hunk said as soon as he got there – This could blow up in your face and you will end up miserable.

\- Hunk, he has to know the truth! – Lance answered with a serious expression.

\- So why are you going to California with him if it is just for Keith’s sake.

\- Moral support, and hey, I asked if you wanted to go when I was booking the tickets!

\- Booooooys. – Pidge interrupted – There is no time to argue! Keith is here so we can start!

Keith took a seat in a chair covered in pretty dresses (Pidge’s clothes seemed to be everywhere except the wardrobe).

\- What do I do exactly? – he asked her – You didn’t give me details.

\- That is because your part here is simple. You just have to log on the dating site and I’ll track Shiro.

\- Sounds awfully easy.

\- Don’t worry, Keith. I’ll do all the rest. Now, if you please.

She indicated her laptop.

Keith sighed.

So that was it, huh?

The moment of truth.

He tried not to think once again about the consequences.

He logged on _findyourpaladin_ with a sigh.

\- His username is BlackLion.

Pidge sat in front of her laptop.

\- Got it!

The three boys stared at her while she started the whole process.

Soon enough she hummed.

\- Ok, that was easy. He has a standard anti-virus security, but his IP address wasn’t protected in any way.

\- What did you find out? – Keith asked softly.

Pidge adjusted her glasses.

\- Well, your lover boy indeed lives in California, on Long Beach, near LA.

Keith sighed in relief.

Shiro had told the truth!

He in fact lived where he said he lived.

Maybe that was all just a big misunderstanding and Shiro had, in fact, a good reason why he was not telling Keith about his life!

Pidge continued with a smile.

\- And, surprisingly, this IP is on the name of a mister… Takashi Shirogane! Oh, so that’s where his nickname comes from!

Keith couldn’t help, but smile.

\- Yeah! He said his first name is Takashi and that his nickname came from his surname.

Pidge grinned.

\- All seems good! – Hunk said with a pleased smile – See? You don’t need to go all the way to California just to prove that your man exists!

Lance was the only one that narrowed his eyes.

\- I’m still not convinced.

Hunk rolled his eyes.

\- Of course you aren’t. – he answered with sarcasm – What should we do to appease great Lord Lance?

\- Hey! I’m just being careful!

\- So what do you suggest? – Keith asked with a raised eyebrow.

\- I don’t know, google his name? Search on Facebook? Just something to give us more information.

\- That is not a bad idea. – Pidge said opening her own Facebook page – If anything, it can confirm if he sent his own pictures of if he asked a friend or something to take them.

Once again, there was a moment of silence while she searched for Shiro on Facebook. Pidge grinned with what she found.

\- Say hello to US Air Force Pilot, Sergeant Takashi Shirogane!

Keith released a relieved breath.

A Sergeant, huh?

That sounded interesting (and it could explain Shiro’s kink for being called “sir”).

Keith was _really_ interested.

(He had never had a military kink, but holy shit! That sounded sexy. He was REALLY interested now).

\- Hey, if he is on the army… - Lance started to say.

\- Air force. – Keigh corrected him.

Lance rolled his eyes.

\- Yeah, that, whatever. My point is, maybe he’s worried about the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy! Maybe that’s why he is not telling you about his stuff!

\- Yeah! – Keith beamed – It makes sense! He might just be being overprotective!

\- Problem solved! – Pidge announced – I guess Keith just needs to wait for Shiro to tell his story.

\- It will be hard not to be hyper with this new information. – Keith laughed, starting to relax.

An explanation that made sense and wasn’t something hurtful or anything! Keith was feeling ecstatic. Shiro probably had indeed a good reason to keep him in the dark!

All seemed well, and maybe he could still visit Shiro on July (if he was still in the country by then, and not flying around being superman).

\- Hum, guys?

\- Yes, Hunk?

\- Why hasn’t Shiro updated his Facebook page in three years?

They stared at him in surprise.

\- No, this can’t be right. – Pidge said scrolling through Shiro’s page.

The last publication was a picture of him with aviator glasses smirking beside a plane. He was in the pilot uniform and had a helmet under his arm. “Sorry, beautiful people. I have a plane to catch” was the cheeky caption.

From three years ago.

They looked a little bit more (they even found the selfies he had sent Keith among the other many pictures of him), but that was in fact the last publication that he had done.

The squad went awfully quiet.

What the fuck was going on?

\- There is something really wrong with this. – Pidge said opening some other pages and programs – Hold on a minute, I want to check something.

The boys waited until she was done with whatever she was checking.

\- Fuck! – she swore – He was deployed to serve on the Syria situation three years ago. There is no other news or record of him after that. Whoever is using his name, is paying the bills ok, but there is no civil record of Shiro after that.

Pidge looked timidly at Keith.

\- Do you want me to hack into the Air Force to see what they have about it?

\- Pidge! – Hunk shouted – You’re NOT going to hack into the Pentagon just to get information on one pilot!

\- So I can hack to get information on more than one pilot?

\- No, smartass. You know what I mean!

\- Keith? – Lance asked softly.

Keith was looking down.

The hope that had bloomed when he found out that Takashi Shirogane existed had vanished just as fast as it had born.

\- Someone picked the identity of a dead pilot to make a fake account… - he swallowed – No, someone stole the identity of a dead pilot completely. You said even the IP address is in his name.

\- Yes, it is.

\- So it’s even deeper than just dating sites.

\- Hey, we don’t know if he is dead. – Hunk said softly – Pidge didn’t find his name on obituaries, so…

\- I didn’t look. – she said – I can check the obituaries, but at this point, I don’t know if it is a good idea.

They stayed in a heavy silence for some moments. They kept sending worried glances towards Keith.

\- I guess… - Hunk said slowly – I guess that the visit to California is really necessary, huh?

Lance sighed.

\- Good thing that I’m awesome and already booked two tickets.

\- I don’t know if I can do it. – Keith said slouching on his seat – I can’t… I can’t just keep pretending that it’s all ok.

\- Hey, think about it, man: we can go there and punch the motherfucker, whoever he is, on his ugly face!

\- Lance!

\- What? I’m just telling the pros to keep up the fake dating, Hunk.

\- I have to admit, - Keith said slowly and frowning – revenge does seems very interesting right now.

\- And it is a dish better served cold. – Pidge added with a serious expression – We can unmask the true nature of an identity thief!

Hunk sighed.

\- Ok, not even I can find a flaw on this plan or a good reason to be against it. – he turned to Keith – Destroy his face.

Keith nodded.

\- Gladly.

\- You will have to keep fake dating him until July. – Lance said serious – Can you manage that, Keith?

He nodded.

\- I think I can keep myself motivated for revenge.

That night, when “Shiro” called, Keith was as normal and excited as he could. He seemed to be doing a good job, since “Shiro” seemed to relax and talk in a carefree manner.

Even if he was still pleasant to talk to, Keith couldn’t help but get angrier with “Shiro” as the days went by.

How dare he?

How dare that scumbag, to first steal the identity of a dead man (a soldier, none the less) and then use it to fool with other unsuspecting people?

How **_dare_ ** he?

Keith didn’t even know if he was the only one or if he was just one of the many victims of that “Shiro”.

Oh, he was going to punch that motherfucker’s face SO FUCKING HARD.

The only thing he still just couldn’t do was to have sex with the fake-Shiro. It was even more disgusting now.

\- I’m sorry Takashi. – he lied one night. He was grimacing, but he could keep his voice neutral and apologetic – I guess I don’t feel that comfortable with phone sex.

Fake-Shiro sighed before adding in a light tone.

\- _It’s ok, babe. I don’t want to force you to do anything you aren’t comfortable with_.

Keith rolled his eyes. Oh, what a gentleman…

Red glared at him all the times he was lying to “Shiro”.

\- What are you looking at? – he asked annoyed at her after another call – He deserves whatever it is coming his way.

She glared one last time before jumping from his bed and going to nap in the living room.

May and June were uneventful. Keith trained for the marathon (the date was getting closer and closer) and worked at the café. He and the squad would hang out from time to time.

The only big thing that Keith could barely wait for was the day of their travel. He would solve the situation soon. That would be great.

Lance had bought them tickets for the 29th of June. They would go back to Chicago on the 2rd of July. Four days seemed enough to track the bastard down, punch him, and go back home. Also, they didn’t have money to stay longer (even if they stayed in cheap motels).

It seemed enough.

On June 29th, Hunk and Pidge went with them to the airport.

\- Nervous? – Pidge asked gently.

Keith smirked.

\- Not a chance. I’m ready.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##  **LINK FOR THE ART OF THIS CHAPTER[[HERE]](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/post/164544515739/catfish-sheith-read-on-ao3-keith-opened-the)**
> 
> Making off of this chapter:
> 
> I HAD TO mention the MTV series Catfish xD  
> After all, that was the main inspiration for this thing hahaha
> 
> You might be wondering what is the song for each chapter title.   
> Weeeeeeeell, you'll have to read until the end to find out hahaha xD
> 
> Admitely, the "change on pattern" while writing is kinda bullshit, but I needed a way to stress the moments Shiro lied. If you look back to his messages, you can pinpoint all the lies. Some already looked fishy, others are more subtle I guess. 
> 
> As you might have noticed, I tried to include as many references to the original Voltron Legendary Defenders as possible, including the "annexes", like the "Shiro loves you baby/#he is looking at Keith" =3  
> I think was a nice touch and a way to still ground it in the canon <3
> 
> Ahhhh Red <3  
> The Duo Red and Keith are my OTP FOREVER <3 <3 <3  
> I LOVE how she always protect him no matter what <3 And I LOVE to make she being the most supportive Mama possible <3 no matter the universe hahaha.
> 
> I know that the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy was already lifted, but I'm under the impression that the mentality still stuck on the military. Like, it is not law anymore, but it still is applied?  
> Please correct me if I'm wrong. I'm not American so sometimes I probably have no idea of what I'm talking about haha
> 
> I guess this is it. I'm always tired while making these notes, so I probably forgot to talk about something hahaha Nothing important I guess, just come silly comments
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked!
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to find me! (I'm kinda awkward, but yeah...).  
> [@wonderland-s-angel](http://wonderland-s-angel.tumblr.com/)  
> . I'm just a dork with a pink blog (although it might be some rants and discourse there from time to time).  
> I'm having some problems with the tagging system on tumblr, so just talk to me if you want to call my attention.
> 
> Comments help me to get going, you know. Like, SERIOUSLY, they keep me going. I feed on them and I'm always hungry.
> 
> I hope I’ll see ya next week!
> 
> Bye-bye! o/


	5. Beautiful Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if fully betaed, but there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THINKING OR TALKING INSIDE ONE'S HEAD
> 
> The text with blockquotes are the cellphone messages. Others are chat messages.
> 
> ****
> 
> ## ATTENTION!
> 
> **This chapter contains some serious ableist thought and considerations that doesn't reflect the thoughts of the author (just the low self-esteem of one of the characters).**
> 
> Now, to the story!

The flight was long. Lance complained about how that would mess up his beauty sleep and would dry his soft skin. Keith rolled his eyes, but he was glad that his friend was going with him. He was getting nervous already and he couldn’t stop fidgeting in his seat.

\- Hey, - Lance held his hand. His eyes were heavy with sleep – don’t worry, bro. We are going to solve this. We are going to get the bastard and kick his ass out to one of Pluto’s moons.

Keith snorted, thinking of the names of Pluto’s moons to calm himself. Kerberos seemed like a good option to kick fake-Shiro to.

The lady sitting beside them gave the duo a disapproving look. Lance stuck out his tongue like a child. She looked indignant and the two friends laughed.

It was hot when they landed in LA that evening.

Hot as hell.

\- Now, this is the weather I’m talking about! – Lance smirked putting on his sunglasses – Enough of that cold bullshit!

\- Because you’re a tropical flower? – Keith chuckled.

\- That’s right! I’m the prettiest topical flower ever! – Lance grinned and the two laughed.

\- Come on now. Be serious, Lance. We have a job to do.

\- Roger that, mullet boy!

They had already decided to stay in a small motel on Long Beach, near their “target”. It wasn’t fancy, but it was acceptable. The room was plain with two single beds with floral sheets. It wasn’t too far from the beach.

They would need a method of transportation. They had discussed the benefits of renting a car for the time they stayed there (since that seemed to be the only way to get around Southern California). They got the cheapest model from the renting place and Keith drove them to the address of their motel.

The traffic was TERRIBLE. It took them one more hour to get to the motel. Keith hated California, it was decided.

Once there, they contacted the “HQ” with updates in a video call.

\- _Hey boys!_ – Pidge grinned.

\- _How was your flight?_ – Hunk asked – _Did the two of you rest? Was it ok to locate the motel? How are you?_

\- Relax, Hunk. – Keith laughed – We had a good flight, it was a little tiring, we found the motel easily and we are ok!

\- We are fine, papa bear. – Lance laughed too.

\- _I just had to make sure, man!_ – Hunk smiled.

\- _Ok,_ \- Pidge interrupted – _you two remember our schedule, right?_

Keith and Lance rolled their eyes at the same time.

She had rehearsed their plan way too many times to make sure it was all perfect.

Day one, June 29th, get to the “California Quarter” and rest.

Day two, June 30th, track the motherfucker down and expose him.

Day three, July 1st, find the motherfucker in case they hadn’t already found on day two or buy Pidge and Hunk souvenirs.

Day four, July 2nd, go back to Chicago.

It was not complicated.

\- Yes, ma’am.

\- _Good! Tomorrow I’ll be logged on by the time you establish contact with the target. You’ll have to keep him logged on and preferably exchanging messages with you. Can you do that, Keith?_

He nodded with a serious expression.

\- Yes.

That night, the two of them walked around the city. Lance wanted to see the beach and they needed to find a place to eat. To avoid having to talk with the impostor, Keith had already prepared a lie.

He had took a picture of Red days prior. She was glaring at the camera.

 

_RedFire:_ **Good Evening from Illinois!  
** _RedFire:_ **Red is not very collaborative tonight  
** **BlackLion:** **she’s still cute  
** **BlackLion:** ** <3  
** **BlackLion:** **just like the owner  
** **BlackLion:** ** <3 <3 <3**

Keith used to find those kinds of cheesy compliments cute. Now, believing that the man telling him those was an impostor, it just sounded gross.

 

_RedFire:_ **hey, Shiro, I’m going to the movies with the squad right now  
** _RedFire:_ **we will probably have a sleepover at Hunk’s  
** _RedFire:_ **talk to you tomorrow  
** **BlackLion:** **oh, ok  
** **BlackLion:** **:3  
** **BlackLion:** **have fun, babe  
** **BlackLion:** **( ˘ 3˘)♥**

Lance chuckled.

\- If only he could see your expression… He would probably drop dead immediately.

Keith kept frowning.

\- I’m glad we’re gonna catch the son of a bitch tomorrow.

Surprisingly, Keith slept like a rock that night. He guessed it was due to the long flight and the jet lag. He woke up early, since he was still on Chicago time. Lance was still asleep and he would be out for a few more hours. He felt well rested and ready to start the day. With nothing better to do, and trying to make the best out of the whole situation, Keith decided to go train on the beach, running from side to side.

It wasn’t exactly near the motel, but he could walk there with no problem, using his cell phone’s GPS to get there.

Running, as always, gave him more clarity. On that sunny morning, he thought about all the things he wanted to say to the impostor, all the nasty things he could come up with and all the disgust he felt.

He almost couldn’t believe that he was here, that he would face the catfish and confront him. Wow… It would be over soon! He would sucker punch him. Then Keith would be officially single again, and a little bit more cynical about online dating, but that was ok, he guessed. It could have been worse. He was almost free of that shitty situation.

When he got back, Lance was in the middle of his morning beauty routine.

\- Morning, Lance.

\- Urg, how can you be up so early!?

\- This trip to California is not an excuse to stop training.

\- Whatever, man.

They had breakfast in a diner not far from their motel.

Then, they waited.

Pidge needed to be fully ready to start the hacking. She would give them the signal to start the plan. Also, as tradition, Keith needed to wait for the impostor’s good morning message.

Thus, they walked around, making some mapping of their own about downtown. They were having ice cream when Pidge sent them a message on their group chat.

 

> **K.Holt:** **whenever you’re ready, boys**

Lance looked at the message and nodded.

\- Now we wait for him?

\- Yep. It probably won’t take long. It is close to the time when he sends the message.

A few minutes passed with them drinking soda and walking towards the sea. Keith was about to get restless once again when his cell phone pinged.

The ping for the _findyourpaladin_ app.

He looked at Lance and nodded.

\- Showtime, baby. – Lance grinned while he picked his own phone to call Pidge and Hunk.

The picture of Kuro of the day had her back again on her favourite window still with aviator glasses on her face.

 

**BlackLion:** **GOOOOOOD MORNING FROM CALIFORNIA, SUNSHINE!  
** **BlackLion:** ** <3  
** **BlackLion:** **the sun is shining and there is a wonderful salty breeze today!**

He looked at Lance.

\- How is Pidge going?

Lance pulled the phone away from his ear.

\- She has just established contact. Keep him talking, Romeo.

Keith nodded.

 

 _RedFire:_ **Morning!  
** _RedFire:_ ** _Kuro looks awesome!_  
** _RedFire:_ **are those your glasses?**

\- She has a location! – Lance said with a smirk – It’s near the sea, but not so close to where we are. And, no Keith: we are not walking there.

\- It is cheaper.

\- We have a car, mullet boy!

\- Still, we can save on the gas.

-  Shush! – Pidge said something to Lance – Also, Pidge told you to keep talking. Just to make sure his location doesn’t change.

\- Copy that.

Lance drove them to the address Hunk sent them. Keith was shotgun so he could keep texting the impostor and he could direct where Lance needed to go (using the GPS).

They were at a somewhat nice part of the town. It didn’t look dangerous and the tourist vibe was gone. Pidge sent them to a three-storey building. It had lots of apartments on each floor, and it seemed to be easy to access.

\- _That’s the place!_ – Pidge chirped through the speaker – _It’s on the second floor, apartment 213!_

\- Seems pretty easy to enter. – Keith commented with a frown – Are you sure this is the place?

\- _Positive! It hasn’t changed since he sent you his last message, two minutes ago. Oh, he sent another message._

 

**BlackLion:** **no, I haven’t watched that movie yet  
** **BlackLion:** **xD  
** **BlackLion:** **no spoilers, please baby  
** **BlackLion:** **I want to be surprised!  
** **BlackLion:** **:3**

Keith couldn’t help but chuckle cruelly. 

Yeah, he would be surprised.

\- You ready, Keith? – Lance asked with a serious expression.

Keith looked to the building once again.

Go big or go home, right?

\- Yeah. Let’s go.

The stairs were outside and leaded to a long open corridor with all the doors to the apartments.

\- How are we gonna make him open the door? – Lance asked while his blue eyes searched for the right number.

\- Easy. He mentioned a week ago that he would buy a book online. Since he hasn’t announced that the book has arrived, you can say that you’re the delivery boy and that he has to sign something.

\- Great idea.

They were now in front of the door.

Keith took a deep breath.

\- Showtime. – Lance said nodding.

Keith stayed beside the door to the 213 apartment, so in case the impostor had a door chain, Keith wouldn’t be seen until the right time.

Lance knocked the door.

\- Special delivery! – he said loudly.

There was sound of someone getting closer to the door.

\- Just leave it there and I’ll pick it up later. – the man inside said. His voice was a little muffled by the door, but Keith recognized it as the voice of the man he had talked all those months.

\- I need you to sign this for me, sir.

\- Sign? But that was never required before!

\- Sorry, man. I don’t make the rules.

There was some fuss, like the sound of the locks being opened.

Keith took a few steps so that he was in front of the door with his arms crossed and a glare. He would be the first thing the impostor would see when he opened the door. Lance was on his side, also with his arms crossed and a frown.

In retrospective, no one was ready for when that door opened, neither the two friends nor the unsuspecting man ready to be ambushed.

Fate had a weird way to play tricks on people, didn’t it?

The door opened and Keith found himself looking in the eyes of none other than Takashi Shirogane himself.

Keith’s eyes widen in shock, but that didn’t change the fact that Shiro himself was there in front of him.

He had changed a lot since his last Facebook photo.

**A lot.**

First, his hair was longer, unrulier and unkempt. It looked like a complete mess of dark brown hair mixed with white patches. He had a beard, a long and scruffy beard, also filled with many white hairs. Shiro had a long scar on his face, cutting from one cheek to the other and over his nose. He had deep bags under his eyes and he looked pale and tired. He seemed older, as if he had aged too fast. His clothes were dirty. Lastly, he didn’t have his right hand. The sleeve of his hoodie was tied up right below the elbow.

He looked exhausted.

Keith didn’t know how he had recognized him, but he was positive that that was Shiro.

The moment Shiro saw Keith, his eyes widened in what could only be described as terror and panic.

Keith’s own expression changed from anger to utter disbelief. He opened his mouth to say something. He didn’t even know what the fuck he could say! “Sorry I thought you were an identity thief and I came here to punch you in the face”?

He swallowed.

The tension was almost tangible between the two of them.

Finally, Keith got a grip enough to start articulating words again.

\- Takashi-

Shiro jolted into action with a knee-jerk reaction. He closed the door with a loud thud. The sound of a lock was almost immediate.

\- Shiro, wait! – Keith tried to call back, knocking at the door – Please let me explain!

Shiro didn’t even answer. It was possible to hear irregular breaths not too far away from the door, and the sound of something made of glass shattering.

\- Shiro! Shiro! – Keith called, desperate to fix the mess he had just created.

However, Shiro didn’t answer at all.

Lance put a hand over Keith’s shoulder.

\- Dude, let’s go.

\- But-

\- I don’t think he will open up to us so soon.

Keith wanted to argue, he wanted to fight. He wanted to tear the door down and console Shiro. He wanted to apologize. He wanted to make things better.

Oh, but he couldn’t.

Lance was right.

There was nothing he could do at that moment.

Keith looked down, feeling lost and confused. He nodded.

Lance took his hand gently and guided him back to the car.

Through the whole ordeal, Hunk and Pidge had sent them a lot of messages on the group chat. Keith felt his phone vibrating on his pocket. Lance answered them with a voice message when they got to the car.

\- Guys, the plot thickens!

They went back to the motel, so they could make another video call with their friends back in Chicago to tell them about the new development.

Keith sent messages to Shiro trying to coax some reaction.

 

_RedFire:_ **Shiro, I’m sorry! I didn’t meant to scare you  
** _RedFire:_ **Please, talk to me!  
** _RedFire:_ **Shiro, are you there?  
** _RedFire:_ **Shiro?!**

But there was no answer so far.

Lance was the one who ended up telling their friends about the whole situation. He was a little more dramatic than what was strictly necessary, but Keith couldn’t find the strength to correct him.

\- _Let me get this straight_. – Hunk said with a shocked expression – _Not only is Sergeant Shirogane alive, but he is IN FACT the man dating Keith?_

\- Yep, that is correct.

\- _Ok, I wasn’t expecting that._

\- _Neither was I!_ – Pidge said still surprised – _And you said that he lost an arm?_

\- A hand is more correct, I guess. – Lance scratched his head – Honestly, he looked like shit.

\- _I’m trying to locate more information about the operations on Syria from three years ago. And no, Hunk, I’m not hacking into the Pentagon, don’t fret, I’m looking for legit sources on the good old internet._

\- Have you found anything? – Lance asked.

\- _I think I did. I mean, there were a series of attacks on US bases. There were many people killed and many taken as prisoners. There aren’t any names, though. So it is hard to know if Shiro was among them._

\- _Keith?_ – Hunk asked – _Are you ok?_

Keith took a deep breath.

\- I’ve just screwed everything up by coming here, haven’t I?

\- _Nooooo!_

\- Of course not, man!

\- _Keith, there was no way you could have possibly known! The whole situation seemed a little fishy without those details about Shiro._

\- Even now things don’t even make complete sense!

\- _Has he answered to your messages?_

He checked his phone (and sent another message begging Shiro to answer him).

\- Not yet… I don’t even know if he will answer at all!

\- _And we can only wait._ – Pidge said gently.

\- We could go back to his house. – Lance suggested.

\- _It doesn’t seems like a good idea._ – Hunk replied – _By the reaction you said he had, it could only make things worse._

\- Shiiiiit…

Keith looked at his phone again. Still no answer.

\- _We can only wait._ – Pidge repeated with sadness.

It was a good thing that Lance was with Keith on that trip: he did everything he could to help make his friend stay calm. They walked around a bit and they even trained by running beside the beach. Lance only mildly complained, which, considering that it was Lance, was a big deal. They had dinner at one of those tourists attractions, with Lance still doing his best to cheer Keith up.

Through the whole afternoon, there was no message from Shiro.

Not even a peep.

Absolutely unusual for him.

Keith kept sending messages from time to time, always apologising.

They had just gone back to their motel to call it a day when Keith’s phone vibrated.

They look at each other.

He picked up the phone.

It was a call from the _findyourpaladin_ app.

A call from Shiro.

He held his breath and pressed the button to accept the call.

\- Shiro! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you! I’m so, so sorry!

There were silence on the other side.

\- Shiro? Are you there?

A sigh.

\- _Yeah… Keith… We need to talk._

Keith gulped.

\- Yeah… we do…

\- _A friend of mine insisted to do it face to face. Can… Can we meet up tomorrow afternoon?_

\- Yes, definitely!

\- _Ok… I’ll send the address_. – he took a deep breath – _Bye Keith._

He hung up before Keith could have the chance to answer.

Lance already had his phone in his hand to send another voice message.

\- THE PLOT THICKENS AGAIN!

Keith could barely sleep that night.

He was too anxious. Too much energy kept him awake for most of the night. Keith kept imagining all the possible ways that things could go wrong.

He had screwed up.

He hadn’t trusted Shiro and look at what a mess that situation had become!

He had screwed up _sooo_ badly…

That night he dreamed of a sad black lion in a cage too small for him. People were taunting him and throwing objects at the animal through the cage bars. The lion would only curl up on himself, trying to look smaller and to hide from the aggression. Keith desperately tried to get to him, but he couldn’t.

He woke up startled, just minutes after the sun rose.

First thing in the morning he did was to go to the beach to run.

Just run.

Anything to keep him from having a nervous meltdown.

Lance didn’t go with him. He knew that his friend needed some time alone and that Keith would be too stressed to go slow. He understood, and he had a cherry muffin for his friend when he got back (Keith’s favourite).

The address Shiro sent him was the Aquarium of the Pacific.

 

**BlackLion:** **the Harbour Terrace has some places for us to sit. It might be a good place. And it has many people around if you are worried about it. 14 o’clock.**

It was so unsettling to have a message from Shiro with more than one line and without any emoji…

He was too nervous, so he decided to get there earlier.

Lance, once again, indulged him. He complained about the ticket price, but he dragged Keith through some exhibits. Lance was majoring in marine biology, mostly freshwater life, but he obviously loved the sea, and probably was going to work with sea creatures or near the ocean.

\- Have you seen those jellyfishes! They are AWESOME, man!

It wasn’t possible not to be infected by his enthusiasm. Even if Keith was feeling like a trainwreck, he enjoyed some parts of the Aquarium. They ate there (Lance chose to eat a big churro while Keith opted for a sandwich) and then sat at one of the tables looking around.

Keith would check the time every few minutes.

On his part, Lance seemed to be making a big effort to be as goofy as possible to keep things light while they waited. Hunk and Pidge were sending them messages constantly, waiting just as eagerly as them.

Right on time, Shiro showed up coming from the main access to the terrace.

He looked uncomfortable even being there, with his back hunched and his eyes glued to the ground. He was wearing a big jacket, even if it was hot as hell, with a hoodie cap over his head, hiding his hair. An older man with ginger hair and an impressive big ginger moustache was with him. It was the older man who located Keith in the crowd. He nudged Shiro who looked at Keith’s direction before lowering his eyes back again.

The ginger man guided him until the table. He had a polite smile.

\- Hi! You must be Keith, correct? – he asked offering his hand for Keith to shake – I’m Coran, a friend of Shiro’s.

Keith shook hands with Coran, however he just couldn’t answer. He could only stare at Shiro.

Shiro was cleaner than he was yesterday. He still had that scruffy look, but it seems like he had tried to look presentable at least. Now that Keith could take a closer look at him, it was visible that Shiro was still damn handsome. He had a sharper expression and sharper eyes than the cocky man from the older pictures. The scar and the beard gave him a rogue appearance of a battled lion.

A joke that Shiro had told him many times before played inside Keith’s head.

“A lion, not a cock”.

Was Shiro being literal or was that just a coincidence?

Lance noticed that Keith was having some difficulties, so he intervened, offering his hand to Coran to shake.

\- Hi. Yes, this is Keith. I’m Lance, Keith’s friend.

Shiro raised his eyes for an instant, meeting Keith’s stare. He paled and looked back down again, as if he was ashamed. He seemed to curl up even more.

\- Why don’t we all sit and have a little chat? – Coran suggested with a light tone – I think there’s a few things that we should talk about!

\- Agreed! – Lance said trying to break through the tension.

However, it was impossible to break through that.

It was a very thick wall of tension, after all.

Even with them all seated, Shiro still refused to raise his eyes again.

\- Can I start by asking you a question? – Coran said looking at Keith.

Keith nodded a little awkward.

\- Hum… yeah?

\- How did you find Shiro? I’m positive that he wouldn’t share his address online with strangers. No offense.

\- Not taken… And – he blushed – I have a friend that, hum, can, hum, locate people online.

The corners of Shiro’s mouth quirked slightly, in a ghost smile.

\- Pidge. – he mumbled with sad humour.

Keith nodded and Lance frowned.

\- Yes, her.

\- How do you know Pidge?

Shiro blushed, his scar becoming a shade redder.

\- I told him about her. – Keith answered with a sigh – I probably mentioned you a lot of times too.

Lance narrowed his eyes.

\- Right, - Coran nodded – With that cleared up, we should now focus on how the situation got to the point it is now.

\- That sounds ok, - Lance answered, still with narrowed eyes – if Shiro is capable of telling the truth for starters.

Shiro seemed to sink even more in his seat.

\- Now, that was a little bit too harsh, young man. – Coran said sternly.

\- But its true! If he had told the truth from the start, thit wouldn’t have happened!

\- It is counterproductive to point fingers now.

\- Why? Because he is the only one in the wrong here?

As the two of them were arguing, Shiro seemed to become more and more uncomfortable. Keith couldn’t help but feel terrible for him.

\- I’d like to talk with Shiro alone. – he said with determination while still staring at Shiro. He blushed – I-I mean, if you want to…

Shiro raised his eyes scared, like a deer in headlights.

\- Are you sure, man? – Lance asked with a frown – You could easily fall under his spell again.

Shiro looked to his hand in shame.

\- That is not a nice observation. – Coran replied dryly.

\- Still the truth.

\- Shiro? – Keith asked gently – What do you say?

All eyes were on Shiro.

He shrugged, still not looking back to Keith’s eyes.

He sighed and answered slowly.

\- I think that is the best option.

Coran beamed.

\- Righto! I’ll be close by if you need me, Shiro.

He put a hand on Shiro’s shoulder. The younger man flinched, but allowed the touch.

Lance looked at Keith.

\- I’ll be over there waiting. But you should take whatever he says with a grain of salt.

He walked away and bought himself another churro while staring at the couple.

At first, they didn’t say anything. Keith looked at Shiro who was still looking at his own hand. The silence was heavy.

\- I think I should apologize… I haven’t been honest with you these last months… - Keith started slowly.

Shiro sighed.

\- Yeah, you haven’t, but I guess I deserve it.

He raised his eyes and, for the first time that day, sustained Keith’s stare.

He had beautiful brown eyes, with a somewhat silver gleam. However, his eyes were also full of sadness and hurt.

There was nothing that Keith wanted more than to kiss it better.

Oh, but he couldn’t, could he?

\- Shiro, that’s not true…

Shiro chuckled with self-depreciation.

\- Yes, it is. Lance is right. I lied from the very start. Being lied to for a few months is nothing.

Keith lowered his eyes in shame. Shiro studied his face, as if saving it in his memory like a drowning man would hold onto a buoy.

They stayed like that for some time.

\- Why… - Keith started before sighing – Why did you do it?

He raised his eyes again.

\- Why would you lie since the first day?

Shiro chuckled with a sad humour again.

\- It didn’t sound sexy in my dating profile to say “27 years crippled veteran without a hand and scrambled eggs for a brain”. I don’t think dudes dig that.

\- I wouldn’t mind. – Keith said quietly.

\- Yeah, right…

It was obvious that he didn’t believed Keith.

\- That can’t be just it. – Keith said softly – You could have just said “veteran” on your profile. There must be another reason why you did it.

He reached for Shiro’s hand, but Shiro flinched and took the hand away.

\- Please… - Keith pleased – Tell me why.

Shiro looked away for a long while. Keith waited patiently, studying his face.

\- I… I wanted… - Shiro sighed – I wanted to go back… go back to before that mission… go back to when I was in fact 24 and wasn’t… wasn’t…

Whatever bad adjective he was thinking, he couldn’t verbalize. He closed his eyes tightly, with a sad frown on his lips.

\- I can barely leave the house in real life. And whoever looked at me would only see this… this… _freak_ that I have become.

\- You aren’t a freak Shiro.

\- Yeah, right. I have a mirror you know. – he sighed – Online it was easy. I could just talk without people seeing me, without…

He cringed.

\- Without the pitying stares.

He was silent for some moments.

\- Then I met you…

Shiro looked straight into Keith’s eyes intensely and with sincerity.

\- I never thought I would fall so hard and so fast. I… Yeah, I guess you were right… I ended up treating you like a dirty secret, even when I was the one who had the dirty secret…

He sighed.

\- I’m sorry, Keith… I think… I should have come clean to you as soon as possible. I… I wasn’t lying when I said that you were the best thing that happened to me in a long time. I **never** meant to make you feel bad or to treat you like that, but when I realized that I was in love with you I was already so deep into my own lies that I couldn’t see any good outcomes if I told the truth.

Shiro chuckled one more time, that sad laugh of his.

\- I guess this breaks the spell, doesn’t it?

\- What… What do we do now?

\- I don’t know, Keith.

Keith looked down and so did Shiro.

They stayed in silence for some time, none of them knowing what to say.

Lance was the one that walked to them, even with Coran’s dirty glares towards him.

\- Soooooo, have you two reached a conclusion?

Keith didn’t answer.

Shiro sighed.

\- I guess we did…

\- I believe then that this is the end of all this bullshit. – Lance said with a quirked eyebrow.

Shiro glanced to Keith one last time before nodding and standing.

\- Yeah… I’m sorry I took your time, Lance.

\- Yeah, whatever. If you don’t have anything else to say, I think we are going now, right, Keith?

\- Huh… yeah…

\- Good! Goodbye Shiro!

He grabbed Keith by the arm and dragged him away.

Keith’s eyes were on Shiro the whole time.

Lance, on his part, was quiet for once in his life, guiding Keith towards the exit and to their rented car.

\- Do you want to talk about it, man? – he asked once they were already sitting on the car.

Keith shook his head.

\- No.

Lance hummed.

\- O-kay. I’m here if you want to talk, man.

\- Yeah… thanks, Lance.

\- No problem. – he started the car – And just for the record, I think you did the right thing dumping him. He’s a liar.

Keith didn’t answer.

Again, Lance was the one updating their friends that night. Keith offered some of his input, but he kept to himself most of the time.

He didn’t tell any of them about his conversation yet.

\- _Wow…_ \- Pidge said slowly – _That seems like a lot of action for only one day._

\- _How are you, Keith?_ – Hunk asked with sympathy.

Keith sighed tiredly.

\- I… I don’t really know.

\- Oh, come on, man! – Lance rolled his eyes – You should feel relieved! You dodged a bullet here!

\- _Lance, I don’t think it’s that simple!_ – Hunk argued – _You don’t know what Keith and Shiro talked about when they were alone._

\- Neither do you! And it is simple! Shiro lied and hid his real identity! He is a liar and I don’t think it’s possible to believe in anything he says!

\- _He probably had a good reason to do so!_

\- Like what?

\- _Hum, PTSD, hello?_ – Hunk said sarcastically.

Keith sigh.

\- Can we… Can we not have this conversation right now? I’m still trying to process everything.

His friends looked to each other.

\- _Sure, Keith._

\- But you dodged a bullet, man.

\- _LANCE!_

\- What? I’m just saying…

Once again, Keith couldn’t sleep well.

He kept thinking over and over again about his conversation with Shiro that afternoon, playing it repeatedly in his head like a broken record. Keith kept thinking about the way Shiro was slouched in his seat, the way he avoided Keith’s eyes like the plague and the way he flinched to every touch or every time someone almost touched him.

He didn’t know how he felt about the lies and the omissions.

Keith didn’t know how he felt at all about that whole situation.

He was not good with feelings, he never was. Keith sometimes didn’t know what he was feeling and many times he was afraid of what he could possibly be feeling. His trust issues run too deep. Sometimes he didn’t even know how he made such good friends in college (since none of them were doing the same Major).

He was hurt about what had happened, but he couldn’t pinpoint how exactly he was hurt.

He didn’t even know if he still liked Shiro for crying out loud!

Keith knew that Lance was right somehow: Shiro HAD lied over and over again. There wasn’t any excuse for that.

But…

He also couldn’t stop remembering Shiro’s face, how helpless and sad he looked. He couldn’t stop feeling bad for him, feeling like that wasn’t right either.

Keith…

Keith didn’t know how he felt about any of that.

He dreamed of being lost among the starts. They all shined bright, like a million tiny diamond in a dark purple matter.

However, he was… lost.

He was searching for something…

Someone…

And he was lost without him…

This time he woke up even earlier than before the sun had even risen yet.

Keith stayed in bed, watching as the light became more and more intense.

Once again, he went to run alone, but even running didn’t give him the clarity he sought. He still couldn’t figure out how he felt about all that. He still didn’t know how he wanted to feel about all that.

He ran even more than usual.

Keith knew that it was stupid, that he shouldn’t do that, it could strain his muscles. Oh, but he desperately wanted an answer.

What was the answer for his dilemma?

What was the dilemma to begin with?

Keith didn’t know.

He was just so confused!

At least running seemed to make him feel closer to solving that out. There was just one piece missing to the puzzle that he couldn’t find yet.

Lance was finishing his beauty morning routine when Keith got back.

\- Morning, man! – Lance saluted happily – Are you ready to go back to Sweet Home Chicago?

\- Morning, Lance. I… I guess I am…

\- Keith, you don’t need to feel bad about this whole mess. It wasn’t your fault!

\- I never said it was…

\- That’s right! It was Shiro’s all along!

Keith wanted to disagree, but he didn’t have any counterargument.

He was quiet though the morning.

During lunch, Lance was set on cheering him up. It was nice to have someone worried about him. Keith relaxed a little and ended up chuckling at some of Lance’s antics.

They decided to go early to the LA airport, since the traffic was terrible the day they got there. At least this time it didn’t take them hours to get to the airport.

Lance was complaining already about the long flight. Keith rolled his eyes and reminded him that they were on vacation. The friends goofed around a little to kill time.

No matter how hard he tried to distract himself, though: Keith just couldn’t stop thinking about Shiro.

What wasn’t he seeing about his own feelings on the situation?

Sometimes it was really frustrating to be so clueless about emotions and stuff.

What the hell he was missing?!

While at the airport, they sat in the boarding room, goofing around and killing some time. There were, as always, many people around them. Families, friends, lonely travellers…

And couples.

Keith couldn’t help but stare at a lesbian couple that were a little far away from them. One of them had her back turned to him, but he could see the other woman’s face. They were smiling at each other and just talking, basically just killing time, just like Lance and Keith. However, they would share a few kisses from time to time.

At some point, the one he could see the face said something to her girlfriend with a tender expression. Although he was too far away to hear the words, it was impossible not to know from the movement of the lips what she was saying. The words were unmistakeable.

“ _I love you…_ ”

Three simple words and it was as if Keith’s world turned upside down in the best way possible.

He found his missing piece.

Keith may still not know exactly how he felt about the whole lying part of his relationship with Shiro.

Oh, but he knew _exactly_ how he wanted to feel from now on.

He couldn’t help but smile and stand up suddenly, with his mind already set on what he was going to do.

Lance frowned.

\- Dude, what are you doing?

Keith grinned.

\- Sorry, man. I… I think I still have to stay.

Lance’s eyes widen.

\- You can’t really be thinking about going back?

He beamed.

\- Yes, I am. I have to.

\- What about the ticket? How the hell you are going to go back to Chicago?

\- I’ll figure something out. I just have to talk to Shiro again.

He was ready to run, run as fast as he could back to Long Beach, by foot if he needed to, when Lance grabbed his arm.

\- Keith, this is a stupid idea! He lied to you, he pretended to be someone else!

Keith was still smiling.

\- No, he didn’t. He lied about his condition, yes, but I think he never lied about who he was. Besides, - his face illuminated – I love him.

\- This is a mistake!

\- Yeah, probably.

\- You are going to regret it!

\- I’m going to regret more if I don’t go back.

Lance looked at him with sadness.

\- Nothing I say will convince you otherwise, right?

Keith just grinned.

\- Tell Pidge and Hunk that I’m ok. I just… - he beamed – I have to go.

Lance sighed with annoyance and let go of his arm.

\- I have a bad feeling about this, but go ahead.

Keith smiled at him one last time.

\- Thank you, Lance.

Lance just made some dismissal gesture with his hands.

Keith ran through the entire airport terminal with a smile on his face. He didn’t have much money left, but he rented a car again anyway.

The traffic wasn’t helping at all, but at least it gave him time to fully grasp what his thoughts and feelings about the situation were.

He loved him.

He loved Takashi.

It seemed like such a simple piece of information, but it made a HUGE difference to know that for sure.

He loved him.

Also, now Keith understood why he did that, why he had lied.

It was evident in the way Shiro curled into himself, the way he flinched, the way he tried to hide at any cost, that whatever had happened to him left scars deeper than what eyes could see. Those scars hurt him, and were still hurting, still making him ashamed. His ego and his mind had been affected. Keith might not know how exactly, but it didn’t matter.

He forgave Shiro for lying to him, and he desperately wanted to kiss it better.

Keith loved Shiro, and he wanted to tell the man he loved how he felt.

When Keith got back to Long Beach, the sun was already setting.

Pidge had sent him a message.

 

> **K.Holt:** **Just so you know: WE ARE ROOTING FOR THE TWO OF YOU!**

 

She sent a selfie of Hunk and her, with her dog on her lap. They were grinning and with their thumbs up. Lance had probably told them about the new development of the situation.

His smile grew. Keith just couldn’t stop smiling.

 

> **K.Kogane:** **I still have to talk to him**
> 
> **  
>  ** **K.Holt:** **Good Luck, Romeo!**
> 
> **  
>  ** **K.Kogane:** **thanks <3**

Keith climbed the stairs of Shiro’s building with his heart beating fast. He was nervous like he never felt before. There were doubts trying to cloud his mind, but he kept with his decision.

He was breathless by the time he got in front of the 213 and knocked the door. Keith bit his lips eagerly. There were shivers running down his spine.

There were steps getting closer to the door.

\- I already told you Coran that I’m-

Shiro stopped mid-sentence when he saw who was at the door.

Keith gave him a tiny smile.

\- Hey, Shiro…

Shiro’s eyes were wide.

\- Keith? What are you doing here? – he looked away – I thought your flight had already left…

\- Ah, yeah… I kinda missed it. – he shrugged.

They stared at each other without exactly knowing what to do. Shiro kept trying to avert his eyes, while Keith didn’t know what to say (no matter how many times he had rehearsed in his head).

\- Hum, can I come in? – Keith asked timidly – I kinda want to talk with you.

\- I thought we had said all that needed to be said yesterday. – Shiro still refused to look at him.

\- Yeah… I had thought so too, but… There are some things that I had figured out just today.

He didn’t answer.

\- Please? – Keith asked softly.

Shiro gave him a long look, like a lost puppy. Then, he stepped aside and let Keith in.

Keith smiled gently.

\- Thank you, Takashi.

Shiro looked away when Keith used his first name, but that didn’t deter Keith. He closed the door behind him.

They stared at each other again.

Shiro crossed his arms defensibly.

\- So?

Keith nodded and swallowed hard.

Why were those words so hard to say?

\- So.

\- You wanted to tell me something.

\- Ah, yes…

He took a deep breath.

Go big or go home, like always.

\- I was… I was thinking. About all you said yesterday; about our situation and about how I felt about all this. I’m sorry it took me a while to figure out. I’m kinda awkward.

Shiro just nodded, still looking down and not at Keith.

He continued.

\- Then today I realized something. It’s so simple that I feel stupid for not telling this to you yesterday.

He took another deep breath and a leap of faith.

\- Today I realized that I love you.

Shiro’s head turned up immediately. His eyes were wide with shock and he was agape.

\- I love you, Takashi, - Keith continued – and it doesn’t matter that you aren’t the perfect guy you have tried to be. I… I understand why you lied to me. And, yeah, that was a really shitty thing to do, but… I love you and I forgive you.

Shiro was still shocked.

Keith fidgeted.

\- So, hum… Yeah…

He blushed.

Shiro expression was still of utter awe.

\- How… how can you… How can you forgive me like that?

\- I told you, I love you. I just… - Keith smiled – I just wanna be with you. I love you, just the way you are.

There were tears in Shiro’s eyes. He held back a sniff.

Keith extended his hands towards Shiro. He didn’t know if the other man wanted to be touched at all, but he offered the opening for Shiro to take if he wanted.

Shiro sobbed, just like a lost child.

Then he hugged Keith suddenly, with all the strength in his arms.

Keith was taken a little by surprise, but he recovered fast and hugged back while his boyfriend cried on his shoulder. He ran his fingers through Shiro’s hair and whispered sweet words in his ear. It was amazing how _real_ it felt just with Shiro in his arms like that.

When Shiro’s sobs subdued and he stopped crying, he raised his head from Keith’s shoulder. Their foreheads touched.

Keith sighed.

\- I love you, Takashi.

Shiro didn’t answer, but he leaned down and kissed Keith.

It was a hungry kiss, as if Shiro had been lost until he met him. Keith had never been kissed like that. It was almost painful how strong it was, but he couldn’t help but lean into the kiss with pleasure and let himself be devoured.

That was… really different from what Keith had envisioned their first time would be. The patience that he thought Shiro would have was replaced by desperation and determination that almost burned.

Oh, but Keith was never afraid of the fire anyway.

Shiro broke the kiss with a scared expression.

\- I’m sorry. Was that ok?

\- Just kiss me again.

He sought Shiro’s lips, desperate to feel that fire again.

Shiro tensed and Keith noticed. Thus, Keith just kissed him chastely and held himself back, their foreheads touching tenderly.

Shiro breathed deeply with closed eyes for a moment. Still without opening his eyes he kissed Keith again, just as intense as before, but slower this time. Keith let Shiro dictate the kiss, enjoying anything his lover could give to him. Shiro was pawing at his abdomen and chest and Keith groaned into the touch. He allowed his backpack and travel leather jacket to fall on the floor.

Keith was conducted through the house until his back hit a wall. He moaned softly and Shiro broke the kiss again, looking at his hand on Keith’s chest.

\- May I… - Shiro swallowed nervously and looked away.

\- Hum? What is it, Takashi? – Keith tried to coax him to talk by kissing Shiro’s cheek with tenderness.

Shiro stared at Keith’s neck.

\- May I… I… Can I touch you?

Keith smiled.

\- Yes, please.

He kissed Shiro again, while guiding his hand under his T-shirt.

Shiro undressed him with wide eyes.

\- Gorgeous… - he whispered in awe, staring at Keith’s naked chest.

Keith chuckled.

\- You are usually chattier than that.

Shiro looked away.

\- Sorry… I… I…

\- Hey…

Keith embraced his beloved again and kissed him chastely. Shiro intensified the kiss again, holding Keith tightly and pressing him against the wall. Keith answered just as feverishly.

\- Can I really touch you? – Shiro asked breathlessly, breaking the kiss again.

Keith snorted.

\- Please, do it, Takashi.

Once again, he guided Shiro’s hand to his chest. Shiro kissed his neck, nibbling and sucking at some points. Keith moaned shamelessly when Shiro sucked harder.

That would probably leave a mark, and that made him feel even lighter and even hornier.

Keith’s hands caressed under Shiro’s sweater. Damn… he was still strong. Keith could feel the muscles. He pulled the sweater up.

Shiro broke the kiss for a longer moment when he took that off. He heisted and looked away. He tried to cover himself with shame.

Keith’s eyes widen.

Oh damn…

There were so many scars…

Far too many scars.

So many cuts, burns and other marks that denounced how much Shiro had suffered. Stains to remind him every day of his pain. There was also his missing right hand. He still had his elbow, but below it, there was only a stump and some nasty and big scars.

Shiro looked away and closed his eyes. He looked ashamed and hurt.

Keith gave out a small smile and picked Shiro’s right arm. He took the stump to his lips. He closed his eyes gently kissed the bigger scar.

When he opened his eyes again, Shiro was staring at him in awe.

Keith smiled again and kissed another scar near the stump, this time with open eyes and staring straight to Shiro’s eyes.

He was about to kiss a third scar when Shiro embraced him tightly again. Keith was still smiling.

\- I love you. – he said with softness once again.

Shiro didn’t answer with words, but he kissed Keith feverishly.

The way Shiro looked at him was just…

It was intense.

However, then Shiro broke the kiss indefinitely and looked away. His eyes were watering.

\- I-I cant! I’m sorry, Keith. I can’t… I can’t…

He closed his eyes tight and tried to get away from his boyfriend with shame.

Keith held him with tenderness. If Shiro tried to break free again he would have let him go. However, Keith smiled again and held him.

\- Hey. It is ok, Takashi. – he gave Shiro another chaste kiss – I won’t do anything you don’t want to do.

He kissed his cheek.

\- We can take slow. I’d love to cuddle too.

Shiro looked at him with that great intensity again.

As if Keith was the moon and Shiro was looking at his beauty for the very first time. No other lover had ever looked at Keith with such reverence before. The whole thing was intense and painfully intimate.

\- How can you be so perfect? – he asked in awe, holding Keith’s face with his hand and caressing his cheek with his thumb.

Keith kissed his nose.

\- I’m not perfect. I just love you too much. And I want you to be comfortable and happy.

Shiro closed his eyes, and they teared up a bit. Keith kissed his cheeks and dried the tears with his thumbs.

\- Can I… - Shiro swallowed nervously – Can I put my shirt back on?

Keith blinked and picked the clothe article from the floor.

\- You… you don’t mind…

\- Of course not, Takashi. As I said, I just want you to feel good. If you want to wear that, it is fine by me.

Shiro kissed him again intensely.

He guided the two of them to the bedroom where they laid on the bed, kissing and cuddling and most of all just enjoying each other’s presence. Shiro tried to talk, but his eyes would always start to tear up and he would look away in shame. Keith realized that Shiro wouldn’t be able to articulate a conversation at that moment, so he just said sweet little things, things to make Shiro feel comfortable and loved. Both seemed content with that.

When the night came, they just adjusted to sleep like that, both of them feeling warm and sleepy. Keith took his jeans off, so he could sleep in only his underwear. Shiro changed to a long-sleeved cotton pyjama.

Shiro was still staring at him in that strong way, as if Keith was the Moon.

Keith kissed him gently with a soft moan.

\- I can’t believe that you are here. – Shiro said quietly – It feels like I’m dreaming.

Keith smiled and kissed him again. His eyes were heavy with sleep.

\- Don’t worry, I’ll be here when you wake up, Takashi. Right here.

Another kiss. Shiro smiled timidly.

\- Promise?

Keith chuckled.

\- I promise.

He closed his eyes contently.

Shiro brushed Keith’s hair away from his forehead and kissed it. He hugged Keith as if he was the most precious being in existence.

\- If that’s it, goodnight, Keith.

\- G’night from California, Takashi.

Shiro chuckled and ran his fingers through Keith’s hair. Keith liked that.

Right before they could fall asleep, something jumped over the bed. Keith opened his eyes just enough to see a black fluffy figure make some room between the two of them.

He chuckled.

\- So this is Kuro. – he said petting the black cat.

Kuro purred.

Shiro looked at the scene in awe.

\- She hardly likes any of my friends. I thought she wouldn’t show up at all while you were here.

\- Heh. I’m the chosen one.

Shiro kissed his forehead again.

\- Yes, you are.

Keith smiled sleepily.

They fell asleep almost at the same time.

It all seemed perfect.

Oh, but things are never that easy are they?

Keith woke up in the middle of the night with movement on the bed.

He blinked disoriented.

Hum?

What was happening?

He looked over to Shiro.

His lover was tossing and turning restlessly, as if trying to get away from enemies in his dreams, but couldn’t. He whimpered and cried.

Keith sat up immediately. He shook his boyfriend, trying to wake him up in a rush.

\- Shiro! Shiro! Takashi! Takashi, wake up! It is only a dream, Takashi!

Shiro woke up with a shout, but instead of realizing that he was safe, he still looked terrified. It was clear as day that he didn’t recognize Keith, for he still looked at him with fear and terror. As if he was an enemy.

\- Tak-

Keith started to say, trying to reassure Shiro that he was safe, that no one would hurt him.

However, Shiro elbowed Keith’s face with his right elbow.

Keith fell back on the bed with his left cheek hurting like hell.

He didn’t have time to recover, though.

Before he knew it, Shiro was on top of him. His eyes were wide with panic and he was pale like death itself. He reached with both his arms to squeeze Keith’s neck. His left hand felt like a vice on Keith’s neck.

Keith’s “luck” was that Shiro didn’t have one of the hands, so he could still breathe.

That was enough for him to inhale and shout.

\- TAKASHI, STOP!

That seemed to break the spell.

Shiro looked at him and blinked confused.

Keith pushed him with all his strength. He sat at the other side of the bed and coughed with his back turned to Shiro.

\- K-Keith? – Shiro’s voice trembled – Oh, God! Keith, I’m sorry baby, I’m sorry!

Kuro meowed timidly from the floor.

Keith took a deep breath.

\- I think I need some water.

Shiro stood up silently, without looking at Keith. He walked away from the room. Keith followed right behind.

The veteran gingerly picked a glass and filled it with water before giving it to his boyfriend. Keith accepted the glass with a soft “Thank you”. Kuro meowed again, pawing Shiro’s leg.

Keith drank the whole glass and took some deep breaths. His left cheek and the right side of his neck were hurting. They would probably bruise and swell soon.

He stared at Shiro.

\- Shiro, - he took another breath – what happened?

Shiro didn’t answer. He just flinched and looked away.

\- Shiro?

Keith tried to put his hand over Shiro’s arm, but Shiro slapped his hand away.

\- Don’t touch me!

Keith’s eyes widened.

\- Takashi, what is happening?

Shiro frowned but kept looking away.

\- Nothing.

\- Takashi…

\- I said it’s nothing!

\- It clearly is something, Shiro. Have you looked for help?

This time Shiro glared straight at Keith.

\- I’m fine.

\- Shiro, you clearly have a problem.

\- I said I’m **fine**!

\- Takashi-

\- WHAT?! Did you really think that you would get here and fix everything with your magical dick? You came here only to fuck with me and do you really think that that would fix it all?! This is not some fucking fairy tale!

\- Shiro, I never sai-

\- You don’t know half of what I’ve been through! You don’t get to say a damn thing about how I should act!

\- Shiro, why are you shouting!? I just-

\- Get out!

Keith sucked in a breath.

\- Shiro-

\- I SAID GET OUT!

Shiro pushed Keith towards the front door and pushed him outside.

Keith fell on his butt.

He was only in his underwear in the open corridor of Shiro’s apartment building.

He blushed with mortification, but Shiro had already closed the door. Keith stood up quickly, banging on the door loudly.

\- Shiro! Open up! Shiro!

He could feel his face warm, blushing harder and harder as the moments passed.

A dog barked in the building.

A light was turned on.

Keith felt tears of humiliation gather at the corner of his eyes.

Suddenly, Shiro opened the door again.

Keith smiled relieved.

However, the feeling was short-lived.

Shiro just threw his things at him.

\- Don’t bother coming back.

He closed the door again, this time for good.

Keith held back his tears, but it was hard.

He was feeling humiliated and heartbroken.

What had he done wrong?

More lights were turning on.

He looked around in panic, looking for a place to hide.

Shiro’s neighbour’s door opened. A white old man with blue eyes blinked at Keith. He was big, probably an ex-military too. He was wearing sleeping clothes.

Keith thought he would die of shame. He also thought that the old man would scream at him about indecency or something.

Luckily, the old man just sighed and opened the door wider.

\- Don’t just stand there, kid! Come inside!

Keith didn’t waste time and hurried inside the 214 apartment.

Another old man, Latino with curly hair and a goatee, looked blearily from the bedroom door. He also seemed like the ex-military type and, apparently, he had been sleeping until the commotion at his front door started.

\- Collecting strays again, Jack?

Jack rolled his blue eyes.

\- You were the one who picked up the last stray, and he’s currently dating our son. So don’t start, Gabe.

Keith looked down, to a big and old bulldog that was sniffing at him.

\- Bastion, stop bothering the guest. – Jack said to the dog without bite in his voice before turning to Keith – You should put your clothes on, kid. The bathroom is over there.

Keith nodded.

\- Thank you. – he answered shyly, walking towards the indicated door.

He put his clothes back on a very mechanical way.

It was as if there was a fog in his brain and he couldn’t fully process what had happened yet. He was still too ashamed.

He checked his phone.

3 am.

He had nowhere to stay.

He basically has no money left to spend.

Keith felt at a loss.

Completely lost.

When he got out of the bathroom, Jack was preparing tea in the kitchen.

\- Have a seat, kid, I made you some tea. I’m Jack, by the way. You met my husband, Gabriel. – the dog nibbled at Keith’s jeans – And that is Bastion. Don’t worry, he is a good boy.

\- Hi… I’m Keith…

\- Well, Keith, what are you waiting for? Sit.

Keith obeyed quietly. Jack gave him the hot mug and an ice pack.

\- Drink this. It’s chamomile. It helps to relax. Just be careful, it is still hot. Put the ice on your face.

Keith nodded and did as he was told quietly. Bastion laid his head over Keith’s knees and stayed quiet there. Jack sat on the opposite seat from him and drank his own mug of tea.

\- So… You are the famous Keith that we heard so much about. – Keith raised his eyes and stared at Jack. Jack shrugged – Shiro mentioned you once or twice, and my husband might not look the type, but he _looooooves_ to eavesdrop on the neighbours.

Jack seems to ponder for an instant.

\- I think Gabe is trying to adopt Shiro too. – he chuckled – But he’ll deny it ‘till the very end.

\- Ah… - Keith said quietly.

\- I heard my name being used in vain. – Gabriel said, entering back at the apartment with a dramatic sigh – And you were with me all the times **_we_** were eavesdropping the neighbours!

Jack smirked.

\- Minor details.

Gabriel sat on the other chair on other side of the table. Jack gave him a third mug that Gabriel accepted with a quiet thankyou.

Gabriel turned to him.

\- Shiro is still too worked up to think straight or to think at all. He is just reacting to everything with his first instinct. – he sighed – That is, fight or flight. He always picks fight, and ends up being aggressive with everyone in his way. It wasn’t personal.

Keith looked down to his mug.

\- It felt personal.

Jack snorted.

\- Nah. Believe me, kid, it is not. I still remembered the time when this motherfucker here, - he pointed to Gabriel – was refusing to seek for help. He had **very** vivid flashbacks from his time at black ops and would get angry with me for helping him.

\- I would have been thankful if you weren’t a little shit about it. – he poked Jack in the ribs with a smirk. Jack snorted and slapped his husband’s hand away.

Gabriel looked at Keith.

\- The point is, Keith, that he has been through a lot and he hasn’t seeked help yet. I’m not telling you to forgive him for that. You should probably punch him in the face the next time you see him.

\- Gabe!

\- It’s the truth, and you did that yourself when we were younger.

\- That is different!

Gabriel shrugged and Jack looked at Keith.

\- Yeah, you shouldn’t forgive him for lashing out on you, but if you care about him and still want to stay around, you have to be patient and comprehensive. – he nodded – If Shiro gets help, there will be a moment when he will apologize to you and you two can talk. But right now, all you can do is wait.

He seemed to speak from his own experience. Gabriel looked at him with a loving and grateful expression. They held hands.

It kinda hurt for Keith to look at them interact.

Bastion whined in his lap and Keith pet his head automatically.

Gabriel looked at Keith again.

\- Do you have anywhere to stay, Keith?

He sighed.

\- I think I’ll sleep in the car… Then… I really don’t know what to do after that.

\- You are not from here, are you? – Jack asked softly.

\- No… I’m from Chicago.

Gabriel swore under his breath something in Spanish.

\- You came all the way from fucking Chicago and he kicked you out?

Keith just shrugged.

\- I didn’t exactly come here to see him… I mean… Until two days ago, I thought he was an identity thief pretending to be a dead pilot.

Gabriel snorted.

\- It must have been a hell of a surprise, huh.

Keith just nodded. He sighed to avoid crying.

\- I kinda missed my flight just to stay with him… I thought… - another sigh – I thought we could figure something out.

\- How are you going to go back home? – Jack asked with a frown.

\- I have no idea.

\- No, this won’t do. – Gabriel said standing up – Jack, grab your credit card, I’m going to see when the next flight from Long Beach to Chicago is.

\- You have your own card! – although he was complaining, Jack was already picking up his wallet.

Keith looked at them mortified.

\- No, please, there is no need-

\- Nonsense, kid! – Jack said good-humoured.

\- Our own kid is already an adult and still hasn’t given us any grandchildren to spend money on. And since we almost never take vacations, we only spend on Jackie’s collection of comic books, we have some to spare.

Keith blushed.

\- I-I don’t want to waste your money-

\- Bitch, please!

\- Gabriel!

\- Ok, sorry. Look, kid, We have the money and the will to buy you a plane ticket, so we are going to fucking buy you a fucking plane ticket.

\- Stop swearing in front of the kid!

\- Jack, he is an adult!

\- Still!

Keith couldn’t help but let out a small smile.

\- I… Thank you… I don’t even know how to make it up to you.

\- No need, Keith. While Gabe is buying you your ticket, I’ll grab a pillow and a blanket for you. You can sleep on the couch.

Gabriel looked over his computer (an old model with a thick screen).

\- I think we still have some of our son’s old clothes from before we moved here. They are a bit large for you but at least you can take a shower if you want. – he shrugged – Jesse had out-grown them, but we kinda forgot to get rid of them.

That was how Keith ended up sleeping on the couch the rest of the night. If he cried a little, only Bastion, the old and chill dog, saw.

The next morning, his friends sent him messages, asking for updates.

Their messages sound so excited…

Keith didn’t have the heart to break their expectations until Pidge sent him a private message.

 

> **K.Holt:** **Ok, Romeo, you have been too quiet for someone who probably just got laid with your prince charming  
> ** **K.Holt:** **Just spit it out: what is the matter?**

 

He sighed.

Maybe it was for the best to tell them about it already.

They would find out anyway when he got back to Chicago that evening with a bruised face.

 

> **K.Kogane:** **he kicked me out of his house**

The answer was almost immediate.

 

> **K.Holt:** **WHAT!?  
> ** **K.Holt:** **What the fuck happened, Keith?**

He sighed again, fighting against tears one more time.

 

> **K.Kogane:** **I don’t want to talk about it now**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:** **Wait, when did he kicked you out?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:** **last night.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:** **HOLY FUCKING SHIT, KEITH!  
> ** **K.Holt:** **Where the fuck did you spent the night?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:** **with some friends**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt:** **Keith…**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane:** **Pidge, please  
> ** **K.Kogane:** **I don’t want to talk about it.**

There was a pause in her messages. Keith used that chance to take a shower. When he got back, she had sent him another question.

 

> **K.Holt:** **How do you plan to come back home?**

He sighed once again.

 

> **K.Kogane:** **I already have a ticket  
> ** **K.Kogane:** **I’ll be there at 5 pm.**
> 
> **K.Holt:** **we are going to pick you up.**
> 
> **K.Kogane:** **none of you have a car**
> 
> **K.Holt:** **we’ll steal one if necessary  
> ** **K.Holt:** **don’t test me, I’m a woman on the edge**

He couldn’t help but chuckle with his friend’s antics.

 

> **K.Kogane:** **Pidge, no. I don’t want any of you picking me up.**

She made another pause.

It was about time for him to go to the airport.

Jack and Gabriel told him that it was easier (and cheaper) to travel from the Long Beach airport. They paid for his lunch and the gas to the airport.

Gabriel gave him his number and glared at him.

\- Call me when you get there to tell me you get home. I will track you down and beat your sorry ass if you don’t.

Jack groaned.

\- Gabriel, no!

When he was leaving, Keith looked one last time to the 213 apartment’s door.

He felt miserable, but he was trying not to think about it.

However, Keith still picked up his phone.

 

_RedFire:_ **Shiro, what did I do wrong?**

No reply.

 

_RedFire:_ **please… Just tell me…**

He still got no answer.

The travel itself was long. For Keith, it might have been the most terrible flight ever, since he was feeling like shit and he was fighting against tears.

As soon as he landed, he called Gabriel to tell that he was already in Chicago.

\- Thank you once again for your kindness. – Keith said for what probably was the umpteenth time – I really don’t know how to pay you back.

\- _No need Keith. We are happy to help._ – he made a pause – _Do you want me to keep tabs on Shiro and tell you about him? I know that that boy can be really stubborn sometimes._

Keith was silent for a long moment.

\- …yes, please… - he answered quietly, feeling even more ashamed for still wanting to solve things out with Shiro.

\- _Right. No problem. Try to get some rest, kid_.

Pidge might not have answered his message earlier, but she answered while he was on the plane.

 

> **K.Holt:** **Ok, we are not going to pick you up on the airport  
> ** **K.Holt:** **BUT WE ARE GOING TO YOUR HOUSE WHEN YOU GET HERE  
> ** **K.Holt:** **Don’t even try to argue. Lance, Hunk and I have already planned everything.**

Keith cringed.

Oh, great! Exactly what he needed: to hear in detail why he was an idiot from all his friends!

Shit…

If he had another place to stay, he would try to avoid such fate. However, he didn’t have any money and all his closest friends would be there.

There was no escape.

He dreaded that encounter during the whole taxi drive.

When he got to his building, Lance was already waiting outside.

Lance was sitting on the front steps with a bag with him. He had been playing with his cell phone, but looked up when Keith got closer.

They stared at each other, neither knowing exactly what to say.

Lance stood up.

Keith hugged himself for comfort.

He looked down. He felt vulnerable and on the verge of tears.

Keith didn’t want to look at Lance.

He didn’t want anyone to see him cry.

It hurt too much…

Besides, wasn’t he already humiliated and heartbroken enough?

\- Have you come here to tell me that you told me so, that you knew that it was a mistake?

His voice was soft and small. Like a lost child in a raining night.

Keith felt so vulnerable that it was almost as if he was naked again in the middle of the hallway. He felt exposed and humiliated.

Lance just stared at him with a mix of confusion and sadness.

\- I…

Keith closed his eyes with force and tried to brace himself for the new humiliation.

\- I… I bought you ice cream… - Lance said uncertain.

Keith raised his eyes to look at his friend with confusion and awe.

Lance seemed awkward under his stare, but he sustained his eye contact.

\- It is pistachio, your favourite… I even bought the cherry syrup you like.

Keith could only stare at him dumbly.

Lance gave him a small smile and opened his arms.

\- I can give hugs too. – he said quietly – They’re not as good as Hunk’s, but they can make due until he gets here.

Keith recognized those words.

He had said that so many times to Lance, whenever he was feeling down due to a bad break up.

Keith couldn’t help himself.

He snickered and laughed quietly.

It was just so FUNNY that their positions were suddenly changed!

HILARIOUS!

Lance just stared at him patiently.

In the middle of his giggles, Keith started to sniff.

His eyes watered.

He couldn’t fight the tears anymore.

It didn’t matter that people who were passing by were looking at him weirdly.

He just couldn’t…

Keith couldn’t hold back any longer.

On the first hiccup, Keith hid his face in his hands. He was shaking and he couldn’t stop crying.

Lance got close to him and hugged him slowly

Keith laid his head on Lance’s shoulder.

\- It’s ok, I’m here.

He cried softly onto Lance’s shoulder for some time. Keith had no idea for how long. Lance rocked them to calm him down.

When Keith wasn’t crying anymore, Lance pat his back in a friendly way. He smiled at him and tugged his jacket with gentleness.

\- Come on, let’s get inside.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##  **LINK FOR THE ART OF THIS CHAPTER[[HERE]](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/post/164810227254/catfish-sheith-read-on-ao3-shiro-stopped)**
> 
> Making off of this chapter:
> 
> Ok! Now I can say that many people got their theories about Shiro quite close xD  
> It is nice to see that there are people so interested that they made theories and all =3   
> Neat! =D  
> And I'm glad people are liking this silly romance fanfic haha xD
> 
> About the way Shiro described himself, I REALLY couldn't help but remember one of the antis' comments about Shiro, how he couldn't be a good leader (or a good romantic partner) because he had "scrambled eggs for a brain". Like, do antis have a fucking idea of how fucked up is to say that about a person with PTSD?   
> I don't have PTSD, just only good ol' depression. I would be highly offended if someone said that I have pudim for a brain (for example) or that I'm just lazy or other thing like that. It is really disgusting.  
> So my mind went that way when I was writing.  
> I don't think that about Shiro, he is wonderful, a great leader and probably a great romantic partner. It just pisses the fuck out of me to see people describing him as such.  
> If I was offensive in any way while using that reference (even if using to show how that can hurt a person), please let me know and I'll do better in the future o.o
> 
> Anyways, I hope you people don't mind the strong Overwatch Reaper76 reference on the fanfic xD  
> I just COULDN'T HELP MYSELF! hahaha xD I had a NEED to include Jack and Gabe as the gay couple next door.   
> Also, there is a mild reference to McGenji hahaha (I love McHanzo, but as long as Jesse (and Mercy) is with a Shimada, I'm really happy hahaha).
> 
> I tried to make a parallel with chapter one with Lance consoling Keith this time xD
> 
> Anyway, I guess this is all =3
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked!
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to find me! (I'm kinda awkward, but yeah...) [@wonderland-s-angel](http://wonderland-s-angel.tumblr.com/).   
> I'm just a dork with a pink blog (although it might be some rants and discourse there from time to time).  
> I'm having some problems with the tagging system on tumblr, so just talk to me if you want to call my attention.
> 
> Comments help me to get going, you know. Like, SERIOUSLY, they keep me going. I feed on them and I'm always hungry.
> 
> I hope I’ll see ya next week!
> 
> Bye-bye! o/


	6. Sound of Silence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if fully betaed, but there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THINKING OR TALKING INSIDE ONE'S HEAD
> 
> The text with blockquotes are the cellphone messages. Others are chat messages.
> 
> Now, to the story!

It was a weird experience to be on the other end of the bad break up recovery party.

(They never gave those things a name, so Keith didn’t even what how to call it).

Keith usually was the one who would buy the ice cream or the alcohol. Also, he was the one consoling, not the one being consoled. He had helped Lance many many times with bad break ups, Hunk once in their first year of college and Pidge twice (with the help of Matt, Pidge’s older brother).

Being taken care of was…

Weird.

Yeah, it was weird.

Oh, but it was also good.

It was great to know that his friends would drop everything just to cheer him up.

Lance guided Keith to Keith’s apartment. It felt a little empty without Red there (since Keith left her with Hunk while he was in California), but Lance made himself at home. He served them some pistachio ice cream, and he poured the syrup in Keith’s cup generously. They sat together on the sofa eating. Lance seemed to eat faster than usual, so soon enough he was free to offer his shoulder for Keith to lean on. Lance also indulged Keith when he wanted more ice cream.

Keith was still crying quietly when they finished, laying his head on Lance’s lap, curled up on the sofa. Lance ran his fingers through Keith’s hair.

(It was different from the way Shiro had caressed his hair gently while they cuddled. It hurts to remember that, but anything related to Shiro was hurting at that moment).

\- It is **so** _not fair_ how you still looks like a model even when you are crying! – Lance mocked a complaint with a smile.

Keith snorted.

Hunk was the second to get there. He brought food, as always, and Red.

\- Dude, it was like she _knew_ that you were in distress! – he commented, letting Red out of her pen – She wouldn’t stop meowing since the plane landed! And she was really agitated before that!

Red wasted no time. She jumped on Keith, purring and making some weird new meows while pawing and licking him. Red didn’t seem angry with Hunk, so that agitation was just her being worried about her owner. Keith smiled.

\- Thanks, Hunk. – he scratched behind Red’s ears and kissed the top of her head – And thank you, kitten.

Hunk and Lance started some friendly banter while Hunk was heating the food. They would ask for Keith’s input from time to time, but they mostly let Keith be quiet if he wanted. Lance kept running his fingers through Keith’s hair and Red kept purring and meowing at times.

Pidge was there not long after with a bottle of vodka and her laptop.

\- What the hell happened with your face? – was the first thing she said to Keith when Lance opened the door.

Keith just shrugged.

She let the matter go for now, but she offered him an ice pack.

\- You pick the movie today, Keith. – Pidge said while setting the computer – You name it, I find it.

He tried to dry his tears.

Damn! He felt like a stupid baby crying nonstop like that!

\- Can we just watch cartoons? I don’t think I’m up for Disney movies today…

(Disney movies and Disney songs, another memory of Shiro).

\- Sure thing!

They ended up eating while watching a remake of some 80’s cartoon. That reminded Keith of when his father was still alive and they would watch cartoons together on Saturday mornings while eating cereal. That was a long time ago, but it made Keith feel nostalgic.

After a few episodes, his friends offered him the shot glasses for the vodka. He accepted just one shot, and then he just spaced out, looking at the ceiling with Red on his lap. At least he had stopped crying his eyes out.

His friends looked between themselves.

\- Erm, what do you want to do now, Keith? – Pidge asked awkwardly.

He blinked confused and looked to her.

\- Hum?

Hunk scratched his head.

\- Yeah, we’ve kinda never had to have one of these reunions for you.

\- With the last dude you dated, Luther-

\- Lotor.

Lance rolled his eyes.

\- Whatever. With the last dude you dated, the Draco Malfoy wannabe, you weren’t that devastated when it was over.

Keith looked down at Red before sighing and answering.

\- With Lotor, the love was long gone when we even met after high school. I tried to see if there still was something between us. So it wasn’t… wasn’t…

He sighed again.

\- We weren’t compatible.

There was a moment of silence, with his friends looking worried at Keith. It was a little unsettling, especially because they were pretending that they weren’t staring.

\- Do you, hum, wanna talk about it? – Hunk asked slowly – I mean, talk about Sh- I mean, talk about what happened?

Keith felt new tears in his eyes, but he clenched his jaw.

\- You can say his name, Hunk. – he sighed tiredly – Do the three of you want to talk about it?

\- Yes! – Pidge said with certainty.

\- No! – Lance glared at Pidge, and said as determined as her.

\- Only if you want. – Hunk replied softly – We won’t force you to do anything.

\- But the three of you are curious to know, aren’t you?

\- Hell, yeah. But we also want to make you feel better. – Hunk smiled – So if you want to do something else, it’s up to you.

He looked to Red again.

She nibbled his hand, a peculiar way that she had to cheer him up.

\- I feel like I owe you guys an explanation and an apology.

\- You don’t owe us nothing, man! – Pidge said putting a hand on his shoulder.

\- Yes, I do. – he sighed again – I’m sorry I dragged you all into this mess, and I’m sorry I made you waste your time.

Hunk hugged him tightly. Red growled annoyed from her place on his lap, but she allowed the close contact.

\- No. No, no, no! – Lance frowned – You are not apologizing. At all.

\- Lance…

\- No! Hear me out! I’m the one with the most screwed up love life EVER and you still stick with me and still try to help me no matter what! You have more than enough credits to use our time just for putting up with my shit! And I’m not even talking about how you help out Hunk and Pidge! So you have no reason to be apologizing for needing our help to deal with this situation.

\- I still wasted your time and money.

Lance rolled his blue eyes.

\- Oh right! A trip to sunny California in the summer! What a _terrible_ waste of my time and money! – he said with sarcasm.

At least that got a small snort and smile from Keith.

Pidge held his hand.

\- If you want to talk about Shiro and what happened, we’ll listen to you and support you.

Hunk hugged him again before saying.

\- We all love you, Keith, and we just want to help anyway we can.

New tears bloomed in Keith’s eyes with those words.

Love…

Love, the reason for all this mess.

If only Keith hadn’t fallen in love…

Keith hugged himself for comfort. Hunk noticed and cuddled him. Pidge and Lance tried to fit on the other side of the sofa beside Keith. Red meowed sympathetically.

\- I… I think I should start by telling what Shiro and I talked alone at the Aquarium.

\- It’s ok, take your time.

Keith swallowed the lump that threatened to grown in his throat.

Most of his life when he was in the foster system, people didn’t want to listen to him. They told him to shut up, that nobody cared, that he was just an annoyance them. It was still hard to fight those terrible thoughts and speak up when he was upset.

He managed to start talking with a meek voice.

\- Takashi… Shiro… Shiro didn’t blame me for lying to him for a few months. He said that he deserved that for not telling that he was a 27 years old traumatized veteran.

He sighed and fought against new tears. Lance offered him a tissue that he took with gratitude.

\- But he said that in a bad manner, as if he was shit for having gone through a lot. He said that that was the reason he lied. Because he didn’t think that anyone would be interested in him. – Keith made a pause – He also… He wanted to go back in time. Before he was hurt, and online that was possible.

This time Keith couldn’t fight against the tears. He dried them with the tissue.

\- And then he said that he cared a lot about me. That I was important to him and that he cared. Shiro said he was sorry for lying, but he acted as if we were breaking up. I was just… I was… - he sighed and sniffed. Red purred trying to calm him down – I was _so_ confused with that.

He stayed quiet and looking down. Keith sniffed a little and tried to dry all his tears with the tissue.

Hunk was still cuddling him.

Lance was the one that held his hand this time.

\- What happened at the airport? – Pidge asked softly – Lance made a summary of what happened there, but I think it was over-exaggerated.

Keith laughed with mild self-depreciation.

\- In the airport, 24 hours after the conversation with Shiro, I realized why I was confused. I… I love him.

He looked away from his friends’ gentle stares (only to meet his cat’s eyes, looking at him concerned. Damn that smart kitty).

Keith sighed.

\- I love Shiro and it didn’t matter that he had lied. I… I understood why he did it… and I… I forgave him.

He made another pause.

\- I drove all the way back to Long Beach. When I got there I asked him to let me in and he did. His house was really messy and dirty. It seemed like he was living off of pizza, beer and fast food. Also, that it had been a while since he last took out the trash or cleaned the place.

Keith sighed.

\- But at that moment, that didn’t matter. I… I told… I told him that I loved him. And we... we...

Keith blushed.

\- I was ready. Ready to have sex with him. But Shiro was still too hurt with everything that happened to him. – Keith sighed – We just cuddled and slept together and it was just… just… _so perfect…_

\- Ah, Keith… - Hunk said softly, held him tightly.

Keith scratched behind Red’s ears.

\- I fell asleep feeling good and believing that we were ok. We were ok!

He looked away from their eyes again.

\- Then Shiro had a nightmare and hit me.

\- Wait, wait. – Pidge interrupted – He hit you while he was having a nightmare?

\- Yeah… Kinda…

\- How the fuck…?

\- I guess it’s something related to PTSD or something. – Lance said softly – I’m not an expert, though.

Keith sighed.

\- Yeah, that makes sense and I have already thought about it. His eyes… - he looked carefully to his friends – He was terrified. It was as if he didn’t recognize me and as if I was an enemy.

He adjusted the ice pack on his face.

\- He elbowed me and tried to choke me.

\- HE DID WHAT!? – Hunk screeched.

\- Hunk, it’s ok-

\- NO IT IS NOT! – he had entered his “mother hen” mode – HE TRIED TO KILL YOU!

\- Hunk, I’m fine! – Keith rolled his eyes – He doesn’t have one hand, and even if his left hand is big, he couldn’t do it.

Keith looked away again.

\- I could push him off of me and he got to his senses.

He couldn’t fight against tears again.

\- Then… then… then he treated me like shit. I asked what had happened and if he had sought for help. I… I… I don’t…

Keith sobbed.

\- I don’t know what I did wrong!

His friends were fast to reassure him, hugging and telling him repeatedly that it wasn’t his fault.

Keith continued his story in between sobs.

\- He kicked me out of his house. I was only in my underwear in the middle of the street. I was so mortified!

He sobbed for a while.

\- Shiro threw my things out and shouted for me not to go back there. If it wasn’t for the cool old gay couple that lives beside him, I would be stuck at Long Beach with no money and naked in the middle of the night.

Keith let out a self-depreciative smile in between sobs.

\- Yeah… ridiculous… I know…

\- It is not ridiculous, Keith…

\- Yes it is. It is because… because… - he sobbed – Because I still love him. I just… just…

He started to cry harder and his friends hugged him and said gentle words.

Although he had amazing friends, Keith asked them to leave him for the night. He needed some time alone to digest everything. Since there was no danger of him choking on his own vomit, the rest of the squad grudgingly left, but not before making Keith promise to have brunch with them.

Alone in the dark of his room, Keith cried once again.

It didn’t help at all that during his shower, he noticed a hickey that Shiro left over his right collarbone. He hadn’t notice it before, due to the haze that had clouded his thoughts before.

Keith felt so confused, lost, humiliated and heartbroken.

He still wanted to know what he did wrong!?

Why had Shiro treated him like that?

Why?

He picked his cell phone up and opened the _findyourpaladin_ app.

 

_RedFire:_ **just talk to me!  
** _RedFire:_ **please…**

 

He cried.

He dreamed of his old house, the one where he lived in with his dad. Shiro was there, but Shiro was glaring at him. “Why don’t you just give up this thing?” Dream-Shiro accused him “You are only thinking of yourself, as usual!”. Keith looked away “I’ve made my choice”. Shiro’s eyes were angry, a fury directed towards Keith “Then you chose to be alone!”. Shiro turned his back on him and walked away. “Shiro, wait! Shiro!” Keith shouted, but Shiro walked away.

He woke up crying again.

Damn his abandonment issues…

The next few days were a nightmare.

He had never realized how much his routine involved Shiro.

It seemed like the days never started, since he didn’t have the sweet “Good-morning from California” messages anymore. Even if he was always awake when Shiro sent those, to Keith that was the real start of his day. In the evenings, he felt empty for not sending a “Good-evening from Illinois” message as soon as he got home. Red even stared at him in a funny way, as if expecting him to snap a new picture of her.

And those were just the smaller things.

It **hurts** to not be able to tell things to Shiro. He always commented about his day with him, he always shared his insights with him, he always exchange ideas about books, series and stars with Shiro.

Well, he could tell things on their chat on _findyourpaladin_. However, he wasn’t receiving an answer.

Keith was still trying to send messages to Shiro. Sometimes he felt like some crazy ex, stalking a person even after the end of the relationship. He sent some messages through the day. Many messages through the week.

 

_RedFire:_ **Shiro, please…**  
_RedFire:_ **Please, answer**  
_RedFire:_ **just…  
** _RedFire:_ **please…**

 

It felt agonizing not to talk with Shiro every night.

Even when he was plotting revenge, it was great to talk to him, to listen to his voice, to just… talk!

Being abandoned like that, especially after what Shiro had said…

“ _WHAT?! Did you really think that you would get here and fix everything with your magical dick? You came here only to fuck with me and do you really think that that would fix it all?! This is not some fucking fairy tale!”_

That hurts!

Keith just tried to help, tried to talk and ease the pain of the man he loved.

That was, by far, the worst 4th of July holiday that Keith had ever had. No amount of cheering up helped him. He just wanted to spend another holiday with his boyfriend, just like Christmas or Valentine’s day. Nothing would ever make up for that absence.

The worst part was that now Keith knew how Shiro’s lips tasted. He knew how soft they were. He remembered the texture of the many scars he caressed with gentle fingers. He still remembered the way Shiro caressed his hair and kissed his brow. He couldn’t forget the sweet embrace that they shared right before falling asleep.

It hurts not to have that. It was like being gifted with a piece of heaven only to have that taken away immediately. Keith felt the loss, badly.

 

_RedFire:_ **I’m not mad**  
_RedFire:_ **just talk to me  
** _RedFire:_ **please!**

 

His friends were of great help. They were going out of their way just to try to cheer Keith up. Keith was more than grateful for that. He didn’t know what he did to deserve such great friends, but he deeply appreciated that they were there for him.

Pidge beamed when he awkwardly confessed that to her on the following Thursday.

\- We are glad to help! You always help us and are there for us. You can count on me, Hunk and Lance for anything!

Some unexpected friends were helping him too.

Gabriel fulfilled his promise and kept calling him with news about Shiro.

\- _And here I was, thinking that I was a stubborn veteran!_ – the old man said during one call – _ha! Before this, he at least would walk to the beach at night, after talking with you. Now he is not even leaving the house AND IS REFUSING TO ACCEPT ANY HELP! NO JACK, I’M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN! I’M PISSED! DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKING CARE ABOUT MY BLOOD PRESSURE!?_

Jack was the one who usually would talk more calmly with him, listening to Keith’s doubts and cries. He would always suggest punching first, asking questions later, but after that initial moment, he would provide good advice (with Gabriel’s inputs from time to time).

Shiro’s silence was still destroying Keith.

 

_RedFire:_ **I miss you**  
_RedFire:_ **I really can’t stand not talking with you anymore  
** _RedFire:_ **Shiro, I’m begging you, please answer**

 

Lance and Pidge were already suggesting for Keith to dump Shiro.

\- He fucking punched you and then he threw you out of his house naked! Dump him!

Hunk was more sympathetic.

\- If he loves you, he will reach out for you eventually. But, Keith, you have to consider if you still will want him back.

Keith had sighed with sadness.

That lack of answers was like a void sulking his heartbeat until Keith felt hollow.

It hurts.

His life seemed to not make sense.

Fuck, that silence, the indifference, that lack of at least an answer made him feel as if he was drowning, and the only person who could save him was ignoring him.

It Hurts!

 

_RedFire:_ **I’m sorry Shiro**  
_RedFire:_ **I don’t even know what I did wrong**  
_RedFire:_ **Just talk to me**  
_RedFire:_ **Anything at all  
** _RedFire:_ **I’m sorry, please, I’m sorry**

 

On July 11th his account on _findyourpaladin_ would expire.

If he paid another month, he could continue using it.

However, without Shiro, what was the point?

He hadn’t met anyone else.

He didn’t want to meet anyone else.

Keith just wanted Shiro to answer him.

 

_RedFire:_ **Please…**

 

That night, Keith unchecked his email of the site configurations, so he wouldn’t receive any more notifications.

He deleted the app from his cell phone.

Keith stared at his chat with Shiro on his computer.

All the last messages were his.

No answer.

Just silence.

He had tears in his eyes, but he had to try at least one last time.

Just one last shot.

One last hope.

 

_RedFire:_ **Shiro… Please, forgive me…**

 

No answer for hours.

No answer again.

That hurts, more than what Keith was willing to admit.

Finally, Keith wrote his final message on the _findyourpaladin_ site.

 

_RedFire:_ **Shiro, I tried. I really did. I don’t care about your scars and I understand that you are still affected by what you had gone through. But you pushed me away. I don’t even know what I did wrong. You never told me. I’m sorry. I’m sorry and I love you. But I can’t do this anymore. This… The sound of your silence is too much to me. I wouldn’t mind helping you, to try to ease your pain any way I could. But I can’t handle this rejection. I’m sorry… Goodbye, Takashi.**

 

He was crying again.

Keith felt angry with himself for still crying like a baby.

At midnight, the message of the end of his account showed on his screen.

_Keep in touch with your paladin! Subscribe to get access to our features!_

Keith deleted the site from his favourites and cleaned his internet history.

He cried all night long.

After that, it was as if Keith was numb to his own pain. As if he had switched a switch to “turn off” his emotions, or at least, a switch for him to try to ignore his emotions.

“Fake it until you make it” became his new motto.

He was fine.

He avoided thinking about his own feelings by keeping busy. With the Chicago Marathon getting closer and closer, he was using that as an excuse.

Lance had been complaining that Keith was training too much, and that was Keith’s answer.

\- That is not how feelings work! – Lance shouted when Keith told him that, at the beginning of August.

Keith shrugged.

\- It is working for me.

\- You are just bottling it all up! You will end up exploding sooner or later!

\- No, I won’t.

\- Yes, you will!

\- No, I won’t!

Lance groaned in frustration.

\- Why do you have to be so difficult about your own emotions and feelings?!

August slowly turned into September, and the classes restarted.

Last year of college for Keith!

He would be excited if he wasn’t scared about what would happen to him after that.

Also, only one month until the marathon. Keith hoped to finish at a time above the average. He didn’t have big pretentions of being first. Even with all that training, he was still more of a sprinter than a long distance runner. However, it felt good to overcome that challenge.

He was starting to function again.

He still refused to delete Kuro’s pictures and Shiro’s old selfies from his cell phone and he still missed the easy conversation he had with Shiro, but he was functioning.

Oh, and he hadn’t cried in weeks. That probably was a big deal.

Life would go on. Keith would re-learn to enjoy things on his own and all that would become just another bad memory.

He was fine!

Or, at least, he was starting to try get back on his feet.

However, at the end of the first week of September, Keith was thrown off his balance again.

It was a Saturday morning. Keith and Lance were training as usual. Lance was excited that his time was very similar to Keith’s. A little behind, but still good (Keith really didn’t know why Lance compared himself so much with him). It was a rare moment of bright sun and the park was almost empty.

Everything seemed perfect for Keith.

He was running with a good rhythm when his phone rang.

Keith stopped near a few benches, a little annoyed with the interruption.

\- What’s the matter, mullet? – Lance asked while panting and getting closer to where Keith was.

Keith frowned.

\- Someone is calling me.

He recognized the California code on the number from the calls from Gabriel (he had stopped informing Keith about Shiro’s movements weeks ago, but he still called to know how Keith was doing, to gush about his son and to gossip about the other neighbours). Maybe he got a new phone?

Keith picked up.

\- Hello?

A woman’s voice answered him.

\- _Hello! Are you Keith? Keith Kogane?_

Keith frowned.

\- Yes, I am. Who is this?

\- _Wonderful! Good morning Keith. My name is Allura, I’m a friend of Shiro._

Keith felt his stomach dropping from dread and a shiver run down his spine. He narrowed his eyes. Lance stared at him with a quirked eyebrow.

\- Yeah, I remember you.

\- _Good! Can you talk right now? I don’t want to bother you too much._

\- It is fine. I can speak now.

\- _Ah, excellent!_

He frowned.

\- Why are you calling me?

\- _W-well, I’m trying to help Shiro. He… he is going through a delicate moment right now. He tried to contact you, but you never answered he said._

\- I cancelled my subscription to the dating site and app if that is what he is worried about. And I sent him a million of messages before that and he never answered.

\- _Ah, yes. You see, he was still confused with the argument with you-_

\- Are you really calling “being an asshole” as being confused? Also, are you really calling what he did as an “argument”?

\- _I’m sure calling him an asshole is a little bit of an exaggeration…_

\- He punched me, tried to choke me, insulted me, kicked me out of his house naked and then spent weeks ignoring my messages. No, I’m not exaggerating.

Lance gave him a thumbs up in solidarity.

Allura made a long embarrassed pause.

\- _Oh. I… I didn’t know… I’m so sorry Keith. You didn’t deserve any of that… I’m sorry._

She took a deep breath.

\- _I’m sorry for that, but Shiro is going through a lot since he came back-_

\- Oh, so having PTSD means he can shit on my head and I have to accept basically?

Keith’s tone was angry, but there were tears forming in his eyes.

Fuck.

Fuck!

FUCK!

All those bottled feelings had rotten and their putrid miasma was igniting a chain of bad reactions inside Keith that was making him tremble. He didn’t know what he was feeling, but it was heavy, painful and full of wrath.

\- _I didn’t say-_

\- Yes you did. You basically said “Oh, I’m sorry Keith that he was an asshole to you and treated you like shit! But he has PTSD since he came from the war so you have to forgive him”!

Allura breathed deeply again, to keep level-headed.

\- _Ok! I’m sorry. My phrasing wasn’t the best. My point is that he really wants to talk with you to fix things up_.

\- So he made _you_ call me because he is too much of a coward to do so himself?

\- _What!? No, that is not true! He wants to make things right with you!_

\- I don’t care! He is still an asshole and now he is a coward!

\- _You said you loved him! How can you not give him a second chance?_

Tears ran down Keith’s face.

He felt as if his heart was being squeezed.

\- I still love him. I never stopped.

\- _So why-_

\- But I’m not that cheap to accept not even the bare minimum! He treated me like shit and now he refuses to be mature and talk to me himself!

\- _Keith, I-_

\- He hurt me! Yes, I love him, but it doesn’t come that fucking easy or cheap! Tell him to fucking man up and walk to fucking Chicago on his knees if he wants me back that badly!

He hung up.

Lance was staring at him in awe.

\- I’m so proud of  you right now. – he blurted out.

That only seemed to break Keith even more.

The last blow.

Keith sank to his knees, sobbing like a child.

He felt…

Keith didn’t even know how he was feeling.

All he knew was that it hurt…

It hurt **_SO_** BAD…

Lance kneeled with him and hugged Keith tightly.

\- Why? – Keith asked in between sobs – Why does it still hurt? Why do I still love him? Why?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Making off of this chapter:
> 
> There is no art for this chapter, but, honestly, the great caomeiart draw for 6 out of 7 chapters. It is already impressive =3
> 
> As always, I tried to make as many references for the show as possible hahahaha xD  
> \-->Red being a real Mama Lion (and Keith is the cub);  
> \-->The "remake of some 80’s cartoon" LOL (they LITERALLY watched VLD hahahaaha)  
> \-->Keith's dream was highly inspired on S2E08 (The Blade of Marmora), on that moment when Keith desperately want to see Shiro
> 
> Also, I don't think I talked about the mild Keitor reference LOL  
> There is not much to comment actually. I ship almost everything on VLD, and I like Keithor, it is a good concept. I still prefer Lancelot though hahaha I blame the good Lancelot art for that XD
> 
> OMG! We are almost over with this! >w< Just one chapter left!  
>  ~~I hope that I haven't screwed up at the end @_@~~  
>  Also, almost time for the fullplaylist for the story (if anyone is interested ;D)
> 
> Thank you for reading! I hope you have enjoyed the story so far! Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked!
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to find me! (I'm kinda awkward, but yeah...) [@wonderland-s-angel](http://wonderland-s-angel.tumblr.com/).  
> I'm just a dork with a pink blog (although it might be some rants and discourse there from time to time).  
> I'm having some problems with the tagging system on tumblr, so just talk to me if you want to call my attention.
> 
> Comments help me to get going, you know. Like, SERIOUSLY, they keep me going. I feed on them and I'm always hungry.
> 
> I hope I’ll see ya next week!
> 
> Bye-bye! o/


	7. Hearts Collide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Finale!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> English is not my first language. This story if fully betaed, but there is just one peculiarity before you start reading:  
> \- [Text after dashes] = TALKING (A Romance Language custom)  
> "[Text between quotation marks]" = THINKING OR TALKING INSIDE ONE'S HEAD
> 
> The text with blockquotes are the cellphone messages. Others are chat messages.
> 
> **ALSO: Trigger warning for a mild mention of self-harm/suicide (or the possibility of it, at least).**
> 
> Now, to the story!

He deleted Kuro’s pictures that night.

As if trying to clean his heart from the hurtful feelings.

If only it was that simple…

Determined not to let that affect him, Keith deleted the selfie of Shiro looking smug on the bathroom mirror.

He deleted the selfie of Shiro with Kuro in his arms.

Then he hesitated to delete the last one.

He couldn’t stop looking at Takashi’s soft smile and the dimples on his cheeks. His eyes were shining.

Keith started to tear up again.

Fuck.

Fuck!

FUCK!

Why the fuck did Allura have to call him now!?

He was doing just fine!

He was trying to move on with his life!

Now Keith was a mess once again.

**FUCK!**

He moved his thumb to press the button to delete the last selfie.

He tried.

He really did.

But in the end, he couldn’t delete that sweet and cute picture.

Keith threw his phone on the other end of the sofa. He curled up in a ball and cried.

Red brought him her purple rat (the one that Keith liked to call “Zarky”). Her favourite toy. She meowed pitifully on the floor beside him.

Keith dried some of his tears and sat slowly. Red jumped on his lap, already meowing and pawing his chest gently.

\- Ah, kitty… - he sighed – Your owner is an idiot, did you know that?

She stood on her paws, climbing him so she could rub her head under his chin, to give him support.

Keith cried quietly, but he let out a smile.

\- Thanks kitten, I love you too.

He ended up not deleting the picture after all.

Keith would stare at it for some time every day.

He was still in love with Shiro. That was an undeniable fact, no matter how much he tried to push it away. Just as he couldn’t delete that picture from his phone, Keith needed to deal with the fact that he still loved Shiro.

What to do with that feeling he didn’t know.

But he was certain that he couldn’t just push it and expect it to go away.

The worst part of all that was that Keith never got proper closure. He never got an explanation of what he did wrong. He never got to hear Shiro say “I’m leaving you”. He never even got the chance to try to make things work out to begin with! Keith had just discovered the real Takashi Shirogane and he was ready to accept him open heartedly. Oh, but his love was denied even before their relationship started for real.

It hurts even more because September 8th would have been one year since they talked for the first time.

Their one-year anniversary.

He did all that he could so he wouldn’t think about Shiro. He trained harder that day (a Monday), he had lunch with Pidge and Lance, he trained more in the afternoon after work and he went to the movies with his friends. However, no matter how much he tried, at night he cried. He couldn’t help but think of Shiro.

Keith tried to delete the picture again from his phone. He kept repeating to himself that that man didn’t exist anymore, that the real man didn’t want anything with him.

Oh, but he still couldn’t let that go yet.

He had never felt something like what he felt for Takashi.

It felt so good that now it was hard to let go.

Keith still cared about Shiro, and that fact was what hurt the most.

With only one month left until the Chicago Marathon, Keith tried to focus again on training. Oddly enough, sport events like competitions or, in this case, a marathon, never made him that nervous. He guessed it was because he was already moving when he competed, so the anxiety would dissolve fast.

That was a good thing, since Allura didn’t give up just yet.

She was a little bit more tactful this time, sending messages instead of calling.

  

> **Allura Prince: Hello Keith**  
>  **Allura Prince: It is Allura again. I’m really sorry to bother you.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: I was insensitive with you and your feelings the other day, and I’m sorry for that.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: Shiro just said he treated you badly, he didn’t tell me how.**
> 
>  

Keith frowned at the messages during his break that Tuesday.

  

> **K.Kogane: why do I feel that there is a “but” at the end of what you said?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Well… I’m still worried about Shiro, and since meeting you, he was different.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: different how?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: He was happier like I hadn’t seen in years. It was the first time he was really smiling since he came back from Syria. He is even seeking help, you know.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: There is no “but” in my apology. Just a friend trying her best.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: Or maybe the only butt here was me, with the way I treated you before. Again, I’m sorry. You have all the reason not to want to talk to him anymore.**

 

Keith looked away and took a deep breath.

He was ok.

He was fine.

He was trying to move on, and talking with Allura shouldn’t affect him.

He was fine.

However, Keith couldn’t help but ask her:

  

> **K.Kogane: what are you to Shiro?  
>  ** **K.Kogane: you seem to always interfere in his life somehow.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: I’m his friend, maybe his oldest friend. His father served with my dad in the past, and both are still on the Army. We bonded over our shared annoyance of the military’s boring parties.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: and now you two are a thing.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Are you jealous, Keith?**

 

Keith blushed and frowned, being caught red-handed like that.

  

> **Allura Prince: I assure you that we are just friends. Close friends, but only that. He is like the brother that I never had and I’m the closest person that is like a family to him since his parents kicked him out of their home. There is no real reason for you to be jealous.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: if that’s it, why do you seem to always be controlling his life or something like that?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: That is not a situation that I like either.**  
>  **Allura Prince: When Shiro came back from Syria, after one year as a prisoner…**  
>  **Allura Prince: It was bad, Keith.**  
>  **Allura Prince: Really bad.**  
>  **Allura Prince: He was too hurt, not only physically but also mentally.**  
>  **Allura Prince: If left to his own devices, I have no doubts that Shiro would have end up homeless and an alcoholic. He already had troubles holding his liquor even with me watching.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: He didn’t have anybody else. Even the few other friends he still had he pushed away. Shiro needed help, so my family and I tried to help him, by giving all the support we could. We have the resources, and we like Shiro, so it seemed like the obvious solution.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: With my father currently in Washington, and unable to check on him as frequently as he need, and with my uncle having a busy and hectic schedule during weekdays, I’m the one who checks on Shiro more constantly.**

 

Keith blinked with surprise.

That…

That made a lot of sense actually.

  

> **K.Kogane: is that why you have the key to his apartment?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Yes, that is correct. That was one of the conditions we gave to him for him to have that apartment alone.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: We were always afraid that Shiro would end up hurting himself, by accident or not.**

 

A shiver ran down his spine.

  

> **K.Kogane: do you think he would do something like that?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: I’m not sure if he would have done it.**  
>  **Allura Prince: He was in very bad shape.**  
>  **Allura Prince: Better safe than sorry, right?  
>  ** **Allura Prince: Besides, even if Shiro didn’t try to hurt himself, he could always end up in some dire situation since he was drinking too much. It was better to have a way into his apartment in case of an emergency.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: yeah… that makes sense…  
>  ** **K.Kogane: and were you the friend who said to him would hire a private detective to investigate me?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Ah, yes. That was me. Sorry, it wasn’t anything personal, and I know it was very extreme. But I was kinda desperate at the time.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: how so?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Shiro was still very vulnerable and it was the first time he was trying interactions with new people, even if it was only online.**  
>  **Allura Prince: I was worried that he would end up befriending the wrong type of people, the type that would only bully and hurt him more.**  
>  **Allura Prince: But since I haven’t seen Shiro that happy in a long time and since all he talked about were good things, I relaxed and let go of the matter.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: If I had known that he was lying to you, I would have probably insisted since the beginning for him to come clean. But just like you, I only knew that he had been lying in March this year.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: you… you wanted him to tell me the truth?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Keith, I’m on your side. I’m sorry if it didn’t seem like it last time we talked. I’m also a concerned friend trying to help Shiro and I made a fool of myself because of that.  
>  A** **llura Prince: You made Shiro happy, so you already had good points on my book. I want the two of you to be happy and I thought that it would be with the two of you together in an honest relationship.**

 

Keith frowned.

He didn’t know what to think of her and the whole situation.

  

> **K.Kogane: one last question  
>  ** **K.Kogane: how did you get my number?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Well… this time I did in fact contact a detective, I’m afraid.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: But don’t worry. I only got your number and nothing else, I assure you.**

 

Keith sighed.

At least she seemed honest.

  

> **K.Kogane: thank you for answering my questions, Allura**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: You’re Welcome, Keith!  
>  ** **Allura Prince: And may I ask you something?**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: yeah**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Would you forgive Shiro this time?**

 

Keith stared at his phone for a long while.

He didn’t answer at that moment.

He tried to go on with his day and not let it affect him.

The truth was that he didn’t know the answer.

Would he forgive Shiro again?

He had been treated like shit, but he still loved Shiro.

Not even Keith himself knew what he wanted at that moment.

His thoughts were a turmoil that he couldn’t get a hold on what he was feeling. Not even all the extra running and exercise were throwing a light on the situation.

It took him three days to admit that to Allura, on that breezy Friday night.

  

> **K.Kogane: I don’t know  
>  ** **K.Kogane: he… he hurt me…**

 

She answered a few moments later.

  

> **Allura Prince: Thank you for being honest with me.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: I’m open to talk to you if you want to.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: yeah, thanks Allura**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: No problem =)**

 

Keith tried to let go, but he still couldn’t.

Thus, he went back to his bad habit of trying to ignore what he was feeling.

For his own sake.

It was for the best if he forgot about that altogether.

He tried to focus back on the marathon again, but his thoughts kept going back to his conversation with Allura and his feelings towards Shiro.

Keith ended up asking questions to Allura about things Shiro never answered.

  

> **K.Kogane: why did Shiro always avoid talking about earthquakes?**

 

(It took a few hours for her to answer, but that was fine, Keith guessed. She was either busy or asking if it was ok from Shiro to tell him that. Maybe even both).

  

> **Allura Prince: I don’t know what exactly happened to him during captivity, but he has a panic attack whenever there is one.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: He is… kind of embarrassed of that.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: oh.  
>  ** **K.Kogane: thank you**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Anytime! =)**

 

A few days passed.

  

> **K.Kogane: he would space out in many of the conversations we had.  
>  ** **K.Kogane: is that part of the PTSD?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Hum… I don’t think so. He usually does that when he is embarrassed and anxious. As if to give himself a pause to find a way to dodge a tough subject.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: was he always like that?**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: No, not at all. He was pretty self-confident and honest before, you know, all he had gone through.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: oh**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: If it is of any consolation, he spaces out talking with me and with my uncle too, even with us knowing his situation.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: ok  
>  ** **K.Kogane: thanks Allura**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: You’re Welcome! =)**

 

Sometimes it felt like he was not making any effort at all to forget Shiro. His mind kept coming back to that and he couldn’t help himself but ask Allura questions.

  

> **K.Kogane: what is up with Shiro and the cold?  
>  ** **K.Kogane: he mentioned a few times that he can’t stand it**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Well, he never liked the cold too much, but it was a normal dislike.**  
>  **Allura Prince: After he came back, the cold made him anxious and it gives him phantom pains in his lost hand.  
>  ** **Allura Prince: Actually, thinking about it now, I think he is anxious because of the pain. I haven’t made this connection before.**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Kogane: oh  
>  ** **K.Kogane: Thanks again**
> 
>  
> 
> **Allura Prince: Anytime! =D**

 

Was Keith screwing up his own recovery by still wanting to know things about Shiro?

He didn’t know.

It still hurts to think about him, but it felt a little bit better to have more information.

Keith ended up asking Gabriel about Shiro the next time he called.

Gabriel hummed.

\- _He’s fine, kid. He is actually doing a lot better now._

Keith bit his lips with apprehension.

Was Shiro moving on already?

\- Is he… is he seeing anyone?

Gabriel chuckled.

\- _Yeah, he is! He is seeing a nice lady every Monday and Thursday!_ – he chuckled at his own joke before adding immediately – _And before you have a panic attack, that is his therapist._

Keith released a relieved breath. He didn’t even know why he was relieved, since Shiro doing therapy means nothing to his situation.

\- Is he… doing therapy?

\- _Yeah! For almost three months now! He has been pretty excited about it. Thank god, because I couldn’t stand anymore of the awful emo atmosphere! Honestly, and I thought that Jesse’s Goth phase was bad! Ha!_

Keith could hear an annoyed “Daaad!” and laugh near Gabriel and he couldn’t help but smile.

With some embarrassment, Keith end up admitting to himself that he wanted to talk with Shiro again.

Absence made the heart grows fonder, huh?

Talk… maybe… just maybe…

Maybe even try again.

If Shiro came clean and if he apologized, then maybe Keith would be willing to try again. If Shiro was seeking help and if he didn’t snap like that anymore, maybe they could work things out.

Keith groaned when he realized that, lowering his head over the astrophysics book. Red meowed and rubbed his leg.

\- Your owner is an idiot, did you know that, Red?

She meowed happily.

Keith chuckled.

\- Yeah, you totally knew that already.

In the last two weeks before the 4th of October, the Chicago Marathon day, Keith tried to solely focus on that and not on Shiro at all.

Thankfully, his friends were as excited as he was, and were preparing for it. Lance and Keith would be running the Marathon, and Pidge, Hunk and Shay would be the cheering team. They had even made banners for them (as a joke, of course).

Keith laughed when he saw them.

\- This is SO embarrassing, guys!

\- What the hell are you talking about? – Lance laughed too – These are awesome!

Hunk and Shay (the ones that made the banners) snickered.

Pidge chuckled.

Hunk would cook them a full dinner after the event. The group had come together with enough money for all the fancy ingredients.

That was a good thing to focus on for those two weeks.

On the night before the marathon, Gabriel wished him good luck.

\- _I’m sure you are going to be great, kid!_

Keith grinned.

\- Thanks, Gabe.

\- _I’m sure the prize will be worth it! Ouch! Stop poking me, Jack!_

\- I’m running more because it’s fun. There is no prize at the end.

\- _Well you can always be surprised- STOP POKING ME, JACK!_

Keith couldn’t help but laugh at the two old men antics.

Keith woke up early on that Saturday, October 4th. He already grinned.

This was it!

Today was the day!

Red seemed to be as excited as he was, meowing and licking him (as if he was her kitten and she was preparing him).

Keith laughed.

\- Wish me luck, kitty!

She meowed happily.

The squad met up at Lance’s place, since Lance was always the one who took longer to get ready due to his beauty routine.

\- Man, I can’t believe that it’s finally the day! – Lance sighed happily – I’m gonna miss training early on Monday!

\- We can always prepare for next year. – Keith suggested quirking one eyebrow up.

\- Erm… Thanks but no thanks. – Lance cringed.

Keith and Pidge laughed. She was cleaning the lens of her camera.

\- Hopefully the two of you will have nice pictures to remember today! – she chirped – Just try not to look grim.

\- Especially you, Lance. – Keith gave him a shit-eating grin.

\- Fuck you, Mister-Twink-Male-Model! – Lance laughed while washing his face in the bathroom.

Hunk and Shay got there not long after and they all took the subway to get to the Marathon’s starting point.

\- Good luck, boys! – Shay said with a big smile, hugging Keith and then hugging Lance.

Hunk gave them a grin and a thumbs up.

\- We’ll see you at the finishing line!

\- I’ll be waiting eagerly! – Pidge said showing the camera again.

The duo went to the official desk to take their official marathon numbers.

\- Ready to be behind me, mullet boy? – Lance asked with a huge grin.

Keith was grinning himself.

\- No way in hell, cargo pilot.

The two had agreed since the beginning to go at their own rhythms, and see who would “win”. The prize was merely symbolic: the loser would give the winner 10 dollars on Steam. However, those two just LOVED to compete with each other (even if Keith wouldn’t admit it, but he was just as involved as Lance).

The time had come.

All the runners prepared themselves and the Chicago Marathon started.

Honestly, Keith was having the time of his life.

Soon enough he got into a good running rhythm and he kept that through most of the marathon. He just LOVED moving his body, and running was one of the best exercises of them all. Moving gave Keith a sense of serenity that was addicting. He was doing just fine on the marathon.

Lance was not far behind. His time had improved a lot since last year. Lance was more of a swimmer than a runner, but he was dedicated, so he was pretty close to Keith.

Keith’s time was of 3 hours and 54 minutes. Not bad at all.

Lance was closer behind with 3 hours and 56 minutes. Also a good time, but he would whine for MONTHS about those two minutes he was behind Keith.

Those were not Olympic times, but they were happy with it.

Lance grinned at him.

\- You might have won, but I’m still the most handsome runner.

Keith laughed.

\- Whatever you say, man.

They fist bumped and hugged each other in celebration.

Their friends were waiting for them with big smiles.

\- You two did it! – Hunk hugged them both. Keith was caught off guard but he smiled pleased.

\- And the pictures were great! – Pidge grinned showing them the photos.

\- You two did an excellent time! – Shay praised – Well done, boys!

The two runners grinned, drinking their isotonic drinks and drying their sweat. The group had walked some distance from the crowd at the finishing line and were waiting for their two runner friends to properly catch their breaths before going to celebrate in a more private place.

While they were there, a man and a woman got closer to them.

The woman was stunning, with her brown skin and fair eyes. Her hair was waved and shiny, in a beautiful platinum colour. She had elegant features, a long nose and big lips. She wore a pink pastel dress and a blue coat. She seemed like out of this world beautiful.

Oh, but it was the man who made Keith lose his breath.

That was Shiro.

He was different from when Keith visited him in California.

He was clean shaved, with his jaw becoming more prominent and handsome. The scar over his face made him look a little older, but it wasn’t a bad thing, since he was still gorgeous. He had cut his hair, opting for an undercut. He still had a patch of white hair at the front, making it looks like as if it was styled. He was wearing jeans and a bomber jacket. Shiro had a metal prosthetic right hand.

He was staring right at Keith.

\- Keith…

Keith was paralysed.

He couldn’t stop staring at Shiro’s brown eyes.

Keith felt many things at the same time.

Anger, relief, hurt, contentment, confused and fulfilled just to name a few.

It was so much that he ended up feeling numb again, with too much information at the same time.

The emotions system crashed and stopped working.

404 error.

He just started at Shiro with wide eyes and hanging jaw.

His friends noticed his reaction and they recognized Shiro from the picture he had sent.

They all stood between Shiro and Keith, glaring at the former.

\- What the fuck are you doing here!? – Pidge shouted angrily.

Shiro seemed to be taken back by their reactions for one moment. He recovered fast.

\- I… I came to speak with Keith.

\- He doesn’t want to speak with you. – Lance replied in a rude manner.

\- Why don’t you let him speak for himself? – the woman asked diplomatically. That was probably Allura.

\- And let him - Hunk pointed at Shiro – hurt Keith again? Not a chance.

\- I just want to-

\- No! – Lance shout.

Keith closed his eyes for one moment. He tried to calm himself down to figure out what he was feeling and how to deal with the situation. However, Keith didn’t even know what he wanted.

He opened his eyes and looked at Shiro again.

Shiro was still staring at him with some desperation.

\- Keith-

\- No, you won’t speak with him! – Pidge said still angry.

\- Please, just leave. – Shay pleaded quietly – You aren’t wanted here.

Shiro begged to Keith with his eyes.

Oh, fuck…

Keith still loved Takashi’s eyes…

He was long lost since the first moment he looked at them.

Since he had no idea of what to do, Keith acted on his instincts.

Go big or go home, as always.

\- Guys, it’s ok.

His friends looked at him with wide eyes.

Keith still looked straight at Shiro.

\- You want to talk.

Shiro and Allura seemed as surprised as Keith’s friends. However, he recovered much faster. He gave Keith a thankful smile.

\- Yeah, I do.

\- So speak.

Shiro scratched his head blushing.

\- Can we… can we do this alone?

Mechanically, Keith nodded.

\- We can go to my apartment.

Shiro’s smile was grateful.

\- Thank you, that would be great.

\- ‘k. Follow me.

Hunk held Keith’s arm before he could walk away.

\- Keith, are you sure? – he asked softly – The last time you were alone with him ended up badly.

Keith looked down and took a deep and slow calming breath.

\- I’ll text you later then, telling you how I am.

His friends looked between themselves.

Hunk nodded.

\- We are going to invade your apartment if you don’t.

\- Don’t test us. – Shay added.

Keith snorted.

\- I wouldn’t dare.

Then he turned to Shiro, his head still in a convoluted turmoil.

Shiro was serious.

\- Lead the way.

Keith nodded and started to walk without saying anything more. Shiro followed closer behind.

After walking for a few blocks, Shiro spoke again.

\- Hum… how are we going to your apartment?

Keith blinked.

Instinctively, he had started walking towards the closest subway.

\- Subway. – he shrugged.

\- I can pay for an Uber for us. – Shiro offered softly.

Keith shrugged. He wasn’t really thinking about anything. He was still numb. Shiro tried to touch him, but Keith moved away. Shiro smiled with sadness.

Keith nodded.

\- As you wish.

The drive was longer than usual and it was uncomfortable.

Keith wasn’t thinking straight at all. If he was, he wouldn’t take Shiro to his apartment that moment (or any moment in the close future). He didn’t know what he was doing. He didn’t even know how he was feeling, for fuck’s sake!

Shiro tried to start small talking during the drive. Keith answers were short and monosyllabic.

As soon as they got to Keith’s home, Red was already pawing at her owner friendly, almost demanding to be picked up.

Shiro chuckled.

\- So that is the famous Red?

Keith closed the door and picked Red up before turning to Shiro with a frown.

\- What the fuck are you doing here?

Shiro was taken aback a little with Keith’s bluntness.

\- I… I…

\- After treating me like shit and spending months ignoring me you suddenly show up wanting to talk?

Red seemed to feel his distress once again and started to purr to console him. However, no matter how much he liked her affection, that was a conversation that Keith would prefer to do without a cat in his arms. That was why he put her over the sofa while Shiro hesitated to answer. He looked back to the other man crossing his arms. Red glared at Shiro too from her spot on the couch.

\- Well?

Shiro swallowed.

\- I… I don’t have any excuse for any of that. – he sighed and looked down – I’m sorry.

\- Is that all what you have to say? Sorry? – Keith asked in a low tone and with anger.

\- No, I… - Shiro laughed with embarrassment, all full of boyish charm – I came with a whole speech memorized, but now that I’m in front of you it was as if everything had been erased from my mind. I can only think about how beautiful you are.

Keith rolled his eyes.

\- Save your compliments and say what you came to say already!

\- Ok, all right.

Shiro took a deep breath.

\- I’m sorry, Keith. I’m sorry for how things turned out back in Long Beach. – he shook his head – No, that came out wrong. I’m sorry, Keith, for the way I treated you back in Long Beach. That was all on me. As you said to Allura, I was the one being an asshole. An asshole and a coward.

Keith looked away.

\- She told you that.

\- Yeah… I was going through a relapse. Allura thought that if she talked to you and you agreed to talk with me, I would feel better. - he chuckled without real good humour – The funny thing is that you refusing to speak to me was better for me in the long run.

\- How so? – Keith asked dryly.

Shiro sighed.

\- It gave me a purpose to keep going with my treatment. I had to get stable enough, I had to feel better enough, or at least not feel like shit all the time. – he swallowed – I needed to be well enough to come here to Chicago talk to you.

Keith looked away again.

This was hurting him. He was starting to get tired of that conversation.

\- Just get to the point! – he glared back at Shiro, doing his best not to cry.

Shiro looked at Keith in that very intense way, as if Keith was the moon or the brightest star in the night sky. It was earnest, lovingly and determined. Keith felt like he could burn under such a strong gaze.

\- I came to apologize, even if I know that I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I understand if you don’t want me around anymore. But I also came to say something that I should have said three months ago.

Keith braced himself for a rejection.

This was it.

Shiro had been polite enough to come all the way to Chicago to give Keith the closure he wanted and to apologize.

Keith got ready to be rejected and dumped for good.

Shiro took a deep breath.

\- Three months ago, you came to my house with an open heart and you said that you loved me, even if I had lied to you in the beginning. I was so clouded by my own self-pity and my own misery that I didn’t realize then that I should have answered you too. I didn’t realize that I should have said that I love you too.

Keith’s eyes widened in surprise and disbelief.

Shiro stared at him with utter sincerity.

\- I love you, Keith.

\- Shut up!

Keith blinked with force and shook his head, his hands messing with his hair and undoing the ponytail that was holding it.

Shiro seemed surprised with his outburst.

\- Keith-

\- Just shut up!

He glared at Shiro with a ragged breath, trying not to cry and make even more of a fool of himself.

\- Do you have ANY idea how much you hurt me!? Any idea how much your silence made me feel like there was something wrong with me!? Do you have any idea AT ALL of how much you made loving you hurt!?

Shiro stared at him wide-eyed.

\- And now you come here with a half assembled apology and a cheap “I love you” and expect to fix everything!?

\- No, I don’t. – Shiro’s voice was calm, but determined and strong – It would take more to make up to you, and there is nothing that I want more right now than to work things out with you. I know that I don’t deserve a second chance and if you want I’ll leave you alone. But I really want to try again if I can. No lies this time.

Keith just stared at him, biting his lips and holding his tears.

Shiro gave him a tiny and vulnerable smile.

\- I just love you so much and I don’t wanna lose you. I love you, Keith.

This time, Keith couldn’t hold back his sniffs and sobs. He hid his face between his hands to avoid further embarrassment.

Shiro took a few steps towards Keith and stopped.

Keith raised his head. Shiro was in front of him with an unguarded expression and open arms. Keith hid his face again, but this time he leaned forwards, resting his forehead on Shiro’s shoulder.

Shiro’s arms gently embraced Keith.

Keith hugged Shiro’s waist tightly and cried on his shoulder.

Shiro made soothing circles on his back.

\- It’s ok, babe. I’ve got you.

Keith sobbed.

\- I love you, Takashi.

Shiro sighed happily.

\- I love you too, Keith.

He cried on Shiro’s shoulder until there were no more tears in his eyes. His sobs subdued to sniffs and then to deep breaths. He could smell Shiro’s scent of clean clothes and old leather from his jacket.

Keith felt tired now that he had cried. His feelings at least had quietened down. He was still hurt, but he could feel all the happiness that came from having his Takashi in his arms resurfacing.

He raised his head wandering with wanting eyes.

Shiro had the same look in his brown eyes.

Their foreheads touched gently, and Keith felt at home.

\- It’s good to have you back.

Shiro smiled.

\- It’s good to be back.

Keith sighed and smiled too.

\- I love you.

Shiro kissed his forehead.

\- I love you too.

They finally kissed.

It was as intense as it had been in Shiro’s apartment, and it still burned. However, this time Shiro kissed him with a renewed determination and objective. As if pouring all his affection, desire and love into that single kiss just to show how much he loved Keith, was Shiro’s sole objective in his life.

It burned, and from that kiss’ ashes, the world was born anew. It was as if the sun was shining brightly and as if Keith could breathe evenly again after a long time. He felt light and high.

Things started to escalate, but this time, they didn’t stop.

\- Is this ok?

\- Just kiss me again.

\- Heh. As you wish.

A jacket hit the floor and hands explored Keith’s back.

\- I’m dirty. – Keith moaned with shivers running down his spine.

\- You’re perfect.

\- No, I mean it. I’m all sweaty.

Another kiss.

\- I really couldn’t care less. – a nibble on Keith’s neck – You are still perfect.

A moan.

\- We’ll take a shower later.

\- Deal.

They walked around the apartment towards the bedroom. Every wall was an excuse to make out.

\- Is this ok?

\- Yes, don’t stop.

They fell together into the bed.

More kisses.

Undressing.

A pause.

\- I… I want to keep my T-shirt. I’m not… I’m still not entirely comfortable yet… Is this ok?

Another kiss.

\- Absolutely. I just want you to enjoy yourself.

A pleased sigh.

\- Thank you. I love you.

\- I love you too.

A nibble and a moan.

\- Can I touch you?

A pause without an answer.

\- It can be over the T-shirt.

A metal hand moved a flesh hand under the T-shirt.

\- Just… be gentle?

A kiss.

\- Of course.

Touches.

Nibbles, licks and kisses; moans and groans.

They fumbled to get the lube and a condom.

Preparations.

\- Is this-

\- For fuck’s sake! Yes, Shiro, it is!

It was everything that Keith expected and more.

It was real.

Shiro was there.

Takashi was there.

Oh, and they loved each other.

Keith was exhausted in the afterglow.

He had just run a marathon and then was brought into a very emotional situation.

He deserved a nap.

Shiro chuckled.

\- Come on, baby. Take a shower then sleep.

\- I’m gonna sleep while standing.

\- Then I’ll clean you up and carry you.

\- Sounds good to me.

Shiro laughed.

\- You are just as spoiled as you said your cat is.

\- Fight me.

After their shower and before falling asleep, Keith had the good sense of sending a voice message to his friends.

\- I’m fine, but I can’t go to the celebratory dinner. I’m going to sleep for a full day.

He blinked to read the answers.

  

> **Hunk: You have to eat!**
> 
>  
> 
> **K.Holt: What happened?**
> 
>  
> 
> **It’s Lance, bitch: WE WANT DEETS!**

 

Another voice message.

\- Tomorrow… I need sleep… I ran two marathons…

Shiro chuckled.

\- At least tell them that you’ll eat later.

\- Hum… no. I just want to sleep.

\- They’ll be worried.

\- You’ll have to tell them yourself.

\- As you wish.

Shiro took the phone from Keith’s feeble hold. Keith was close to falling asleep.

\- I’ll make sure he eats, don’t worry. We are at his apartment and he’s ok, just tired.

Keith could hear the messages avalanche from his friends hearing a voice message from Shiro.

Shiro silenced the phone and cuddled with him.

Keith slept most of the afternoon. Shiro woke him up to eat by the evening (he ordered food). Shiro tried to talk, but Keith put his fingers over his lips and say “Not today, ok?”. Shiro chuckled “As you wish”. They just cuddled and kissed, enjoying each other’s presence.

At night, they ended up making love again.

Keith was still very tired, thus it was Shiro who covered them in their afterglow.

Keith looked at him with half-open eyes.

\- Will you still be here in the morning or will you vanish like a dream?

Shiro kissed his forehead.

\- I’ll be here to wake you up with a kiss.

\- Promise?

Shiro kissed his lips tenderly.

\- I promise.

\- Then goodnight, Takashi.

\- Goodnight, baby.

Keith had the most peaceful sleep he could remember.

The next morning, he woke up feeling lips kissing his cheeks.

He blinked, feeling a little lost.

Shiro chuckled and kissed his forehead.

Keith turned to face Shiro. He smiled still sleepy and soft.

Shiro kissed his lips.

\- Good morning from Illinois.

Keith chuckled.

\- G’morning, Takashi.

\- I’m pretty sure that Red is jealous of you.

\- Huh?

Keith raised his eyes towards the end of the bed, just to see Red glaring at Shiro and moving her tail in annoyance. Keith laughed.

\- Oh, come here, little diva.

Red walked towards him with dignity before plopping over Keith’s belly and demanding petting.

Shiro guffawed.

\- Oh my god! You weren’t playing when you said that she was a diva!

Red tried to glare at him, but Keith scratched behind her ears and she purred.

Shiro kissed Keith’s forehead.

\- I bought us breakfast.

\- Bought?

\- I have many talents, baby. Cooking is not one of them. So I bought you coffee and a piece of strawberry pie.

\- I’m going to end up spoiled rotten this way.

Shiro giggled.

\- Anything for my baby.

They kissed chastely one more time and then they kept staring at each other. Keith was laying with Red over his tummy while he petted her. Shiro was laying on his side, leaning on his right arm (without the prosthetic. He had taken that off before going to sleep), holding Keith’s face with his left hand and caressing his cheeks with his thumb.

There was a sense of peace and love that made Keith feel completely at ease yet very open and vulnerable.

\- You want to talk. – he said softly.

Shiro hummed.

\- We can wait until after breakfast if you want.

\- No… I think we should talk now…

He used his left hand to run a thumb over Shiro’s face with tenderness. Shiro closed his eyes and sighed content.

\- Do you really want me back? – he asked Keith – I understand if you don’t.

Keith sighed.

\- You really hurt me…

\- I’m sorry.

\- I’m still hurt, - he sighed – but I love you and… I still want to be with you. I’m just… afraid of being hurt again. I’m probably very insecure right now…

Shiro kissed his hand.

\- I can handle insecurities. I’ll kiss them away until there is no doubt that I love you and I want you to feel loved. You deserve it, Keith.

Keith smiled.

Shiro sighed.

\- But I have to warn you about me. I’m much better now than what I was three months ago, but I’m still mostly broken. I’m trying my best, but there will still be… messy days…

\- I can handle messy days. I love you just the way you are.

\- I feel like you still don’t know the real me yet, and it’s all my fault.

\- Then, let me know the real you. Let’s start over.

Shiro kissed Keith’s hand with a mischievous smiled.

\- Sounds good to me. Let me start. I’m Takashi Shirogane, I’m 27 years old, and I’m a veteran. I like the colour black, I hate the cold and I’m always ready to lend my friends a hand.

He picked up his prosthetic and poked Keith with it.

Keith snickered and then laughed.

\- You dork!

\- But I made you smile! – Shiro beamed.

Keith chuckled.

\- Yeah… I love you, Takashi.

They kissed lazily and gently.

\- I love you too, Keith.

\- But you are still a dork.

\- Hey! I’m _your_ dork!

They laughed together and kissed again.

Red stared at them pleased and lazy that Sunday morning.

Shiro sighed.

\- I think we can work this out.

Keith beamed and kissed Shiro’s hand.

\- Yeah. Together, we can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ##  **LINK FOR THE ART OF THIS CHAPTER[[HERE]](http://caomeiart.tumblr.com/post/165309637974/catfish-sheith-read-on-ao3-shiro-took-a-few)**
> 
> Making off of this chapter:
> 
> I'm really worried that I rushed their getting back together x_X Like, you people were SO EXCITED to see this that I'm worried it wasn't up to your expectations x_x  
> I tried to make show that they still loved each other, they just needed to go slow and respecting their needs (Keith to be comforted and loved when he is insecure and Shiro to have patience and love during his relapses).  
> Tell me what do you think: do you think it was a good getting back together?
> 
> About Allura: I tried to include her earlier on the story during the planning phase, but it wasn't possible due to the story be from Keith's POV. Originally, she would be the one with Shiro on the Aquarium of Pacific, but a friend of mine complained that I was forgetting Coran, so I HAD TO include him.  
> At least I could make a smallish Wonder Woman reference with Allura's surname hahaha xD (I kinda imagine the same situation that happened in the Wonder Woman movie happening if Allura ever ended up on Earth with the Paladins)
> 
> I really LOVED to include the famous "Good to have you back"/"Good to be back" *-* Sheith has so many sweet lines!
> 
> I really hope you liked the art for this chapter >w< is one of my favourites!  
> Caomeiart really make the cutest pictures ever <3  
> (Go check their blog ;D [@caomeiart](https://caomeiart.tumblr.com/))
> 
> AND FINALLY, THE MOMENT YOU HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR: THE FULL PLAYLIST OF THE STORY!
> 
> _Catfish: The Soundtrack_
>
>>   
>  \- “New Love” – Maroon 5  
> \- “There’s Nothing Holdin’ Me Back” – Shawn Mendes  
> \- “In Your Pocket” – Maroon 5  
> \- “To be Human” - Sia (feat Labrinth) [From the "Wonder Woman" Motion Picture]  
> \- “Beautiful Mess” – Kristian Kostov  
> \- “Sound of Silence” – Dami Im  
> \- “Don’t Come Easy” – Isaiah  
> \- “Payphone” – Maroon 5 (feat. Wiz Khalifa)  
> \- “Hearts Collide” – Mans Zelmerlöw 
> 
>   
> I had more musics than chapters, so not all of them ended up nominating a chapter. And the music "Don't Come Easy" was something from chapter 6, actually, but the lyrics could also relate to chapter 1, hence it ending up there.  
> And yeah: you can coment on my musical tastes on the comments if you want to hahaha xD
> 
> AAAAAAAAAAND it is over TT^TT  
> Nothing lasts forever, but I hope you have enjoyed the ride =3
> 
> Thank you for reading until the end! I hope you have enjoyed it! Leave a kudo and a comment if you liked!
> 
> I'm on tumblr if you want to find me! (I'm kinda awkward, but yeah...) [@wonderland-s-angel](http://wonderland-s-angel.tumblr.com/).  
> I'm just a dork with a pink blog (although it might be some rants and discourse there from time to time).  
> I'm having some problems with the tagging system on tumblr, so just talk to me if you want to call my attention.
> 
> Comments help me to get going, you know. Like, SERIOUSLY, they keep me going. I feed on them and I'm always hungry.
> 
> I hope I’ll see ya around!
> 
> Bye-bye! o/


End file.
